Into the Night
by unicornhime
Summary: AU Set in the late 1800s from Edward's POV. Bella's engaged, but not to Edward, and when her fiancé betrays her in the worst way, Edward is going to make sure that justice is served. His style. Inspired by Rosalie's story. *MAY CONTAIN RAPE TRIGGERS*
1. A Chance Meeting

_Author's Notes: Hey, everyone, I'm back from the dead! This is what consumed my life for a month back in November. Now I'm trying to edit it with the help of a great beta, choosetodeam from livejournal. All remaining mistakes are completely mine, I'm such a lazy editor._

_So please enjoy, and leave me a review! Thanks!_

_Disclaimer – characters are from the wonderful mind of Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them for a bit. _

It was the proper thing to be here, so here I was. Not that I really had a choice. For I was the rich cousin of the acclaimed Dr. Carlisle Cullen, visiting from out of town. How could I be anything but proper, polite, and the epitome of gentlemanly behavior?

It's not as though it's against my nature to act as a gentleman. I've been groomed to live the part, that much is undeniable, it's just…tiresome at times.

Now, for instance.

"Now" being tonight's ball, held especially in the newest family's honor. It's a big deal when a new family moves into the small, posh neighborhood, and they must be treated with the utmost decorum. Or, in other words, a big party with lots of wine.

But, even that didn't particularly bother me, seeing as I detested wine and didn't mind decorum. The problem was, as often is, the girls. Ah, the fairer sex, always driving themselves half mad vying for attention. It didn't matter if the gentleman they sought did not return their favors, which somehow translated to them to try harder. And unfortunately for me, anything I ever said meant, "Try harder."

And to be even more specific, "now" there was a flirty brunette fanning herself rapidly, trying to catch my eye. She had never succeeded to really catch it before, and I didn't know what drove her to try again when she was doomed to fail. Just like every other lady here, she was entertaining thoughts on how to best catch a man – and most importantly, a rich man. If he had good looks and charm, it wouldn't hurt either - and I'm told I have all three. Why hadn't I made Carlisle say I was a ruined man, coming to him for aid in a desperate time of need?

"Edward," the girl cooed my name and dropped a polite curtsy. "Always a pleasure to see you at these functions."

I returned with a brief bow and answered the only way a gentleman could, "The pleasure is mine. Though I can't seem to recall seeing you before." A lie. I knew exactly who she was. My perfect memory wouldn't let me forget her if I wanted to. And I very much did want to forget her.

She cried out in mock pain, "Oh, you wound me! We were introduced just last month, at the Mason's ball. I am Miss Jessica Stanley."

"Of course, Miss Jessica." How quickly could I escape before seeming too rude? Luckily, a tall blonde man caught my eye at that moment and winked conspiratorially . That was as good an excuse as any. "I'm sorry, but it looks like Dr. Cullen needs me at the moment, if you'll excuse me." I bowed stiffly and escaped across the room. The room was not so large that I couldn't hear her huff at her friend in disappointment.

"Carlisle, save me," I muttered as I neared him. Carlisle Cullen was the top doctor in the community and I hear that nurses have a difficult time keeping their wits about them with the handsome doctor in the vicinity. And even though I have reddish brown hair to his blonde, we have the same gold eyes that attract so much unwanted attention.

"And what would a handsome man like you need saving from?" he asked, though he knew exactly what I meant. I wasn't always a gentleman at home, and he had been at the end of some of my…less flattering moments, shall we say. I rolled my eyes at him. "Come now, Edward, just because you can't court them doesn't mean you can't befriend them."

"I don't want to befriend them. There isn't an original thought among the lot of them." I gestured over to a flock of giggling girls. They were exceedingly amused by some poor girl's less-than-fashionable state of dress. While I was groomed to be a gentleman, they were groomed to be ladies. Pretty ladies for others to admire for their beauty, not for their minds.

And it was true what Carlisle mentioned: I couldn't court any of them even if I wanted to because I don't think any of them would take too kindly to finding out that their beau was a vampire.

That's right, vampire. Carlisle was one, too, along with his wife, Esme. It's a rather long, involved story, so, for now, it suffices to say that vampires aren't exactly what you might think. You can forget the fangs you've seen in the latest production of Dracula, and the silly notions about crosses and garlic. Those odd myths are simply one poor man's little lie that has undergone centuries of word-of-mouth. Gossip gone bad, to be honest. It's impossible for one community to keep a simple fact true for more than a few days as it gets passed from gossiping mouth to gossiping ear. How could all the right information about vampires survive centuries, countries, and tongues? It's no surprise, really.

But there is one vital fact that has stayed intact all these years, and that is the issue of blood. There is that part of me that craves it, and that part of me I must control. That part of me is the better part of the reason I bother to come to these inane parties. Aside from the gentlemanly front, it is good for perfecting my self-control. For while it is true that vampires are sustained by blood, I am not one of those monsters existing off of _human_ blood. I manage to subsist using _animal_ blood.

I don't want to be a monster. And no matter whose blood I drink, it is some person's blood, some person's life I'm stealing. No matter how evil that person may be, some part of myself dies with each life I take. Even with my gift, even with knowing exactly how malicious a man is, I lose a part of the humanity I'm desperately clinging to. And it's not worth it.

My gift, to be specific, is mind-reading. It is a gift as well as a curse. At first, it seems like it would be wonderful to know what someone else was thinking, so there would be no guesswork, and I know exactly what to do and how it will be perceived as quickly as a thought is formed. But every so often there is a time where you don't want to know what is going on in someone else's head. To be honest, that happens far more often than I would have expected.

So I have to endure moments like this ball, always knowing what others are thinking of me and always working on my control, always pushing it one step further. It wasn't all that long ago that I had tried a different route, and I needed this, needed to see what I was doing.

It also didn't hurt to build connections. Fifty years is a long time to spend alone. And that's almost exactly how long I've been condemned to this life as a vampire.

I sighed at the thought and turned my attention back to Carlisle. He was pointing out the people of note that hadn't been at the last ball I'd forced myself to attend. I was only half-way paying attention, but I could count on my memory – and the ever present propriety of introductions – to aid me when needed. "So where's the family this party is honoring anyway?" I asked, not really caring.

"It's not really a whole family, per se," he answered. "But there is another girl to add to your adoring fans." He smiled, teasing.

"Wonderful."

"The police chief's daughter has come to join him in town for a while. Her mother - his ex-wife - is on her honeymoon with her new husband. The young lady didn't think her presence would be…appreciated," he said thoughtfully. "Or so that's the report."

"Oh, so she thinks? That's something new," I said dryly.

"Do behave yourself, Edward," he said, a light reprove in his voice. "She supposedly quite the lady. Very well off. I haven't met her myself yet, but I hear the richest family in town has already paid her a visit. Well, the richest family in town's eldest boy has."

"Well, good for him. I hope they're happy together. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'd like to get some fresh air." I left him and headed for the balcony. More people had arrived, and so many warm bodies in one spot was getting a little overwhelming.

Out on the balcony, I leaned against the railing and closed my eyes, feeling the cool night air blow against my skin. It was blowing in toward the party, meaning it was fresh with the smells of the outdoors. If I focused on the scent of the pine trees, I could almost forget about the sweet smell of blood calling to that monster inside of me, and I could drown out the sounds of the voices swirling in and around me.

I could hear the inane thoughts of those gaggles of girls, whether I want to or not. Often not, as you can imagine. But it really is a gift sometimes, hearing others' thoughts. It was how I tracked my blood-victims before; I could hear their cruel minds at work in a dark alley, and it was all too easily justified.

But that is a past world.

It is sometimes convenient, like when Carlisle or someone needs to speak to me inconspicuously, but it's annoying more often than not. Especially in this kind of company. I suppose I am useful in finding those who might suspect something is not quite right with the doctor and his family, but that happens so rarely that I'm usually forced to listen to mundane things instead. Like those insolent girls - would they never stop cackling? I could hear them all the way out here!

I cast a dirty look in their general direction before turning back toward the smell and stillness of the pine trees. I must have been standing there for a very long time, because a voice cut into my solitude. "Are you alright?"

I have to admit, I jumped a little. I really must have been there a long time, lost in my own thoughts, if I didn't even notice someone come up to me. I turned to answer, "Fine, thank you," and excuse myself, but all I got out was the "fine." There was one of the girls standing beside me. No, that's not right. She wasn't one of those clucking hens, she was a new one, and she looked genuinely concerned for me. The chief's daughter?

I stared for a moment, trying to collect myself, but wasn't able to do so quite fast enough. Before I could apologize for my rudeness, another young man approached us.

"Ah, Miss Bella, there you are!" He held out his arm to escort her back in. "I've been looking all over for you. Your father wants to show you off to a few more friends of his."

She didn't look especially pleased at this news. I listened to her thoughts, curious at the idea of a girl who didn't enjoy showing off at every possible moment. Or at least, I _tried _to listen. But for some reason I couldn't quite pin her down. Frustrating. Maybe it was because there were too many girls scheming, and their nonsensical plotting was jumbling all together into a heap of nothingness.

At any rate, she flashed me an apologetic smile and a quick curtsy, and allowed herself to be ushered back inside.

Then the wind shifted.

Suddenly it was blowing away from the party, carrying the smells of the guests along with it. And one in particular – the girl who had just left me.

And she smelled _unbelievable_.

It was if all the goodness in the world, all the deliciousness was wrapped into one single scent. Every scent I had smelled before now was a memory of stale, rank, odors in comparison. Like I had never experienced the sensation of smell before. It was divinity straight from hell as the monster inside of me perversely agreed.

My whole body tensed the moment the scent hit me, and the sane part of my mind was indescribably grateful that she had just been whisked away from me and that I hadn't had the chance to smell her before that moment. Thankfully, she quickly blended into the crowd and disappeared far inside, leaving only a faint echo of essence. I turned to face the pine trees again, trying to clear my mind. The monster wanted to seize her right then and there, but that was unthinkable! I needed to get out of there. I held my breath. Even the echo of a scent was making my mouth water with venom. I gripped the railing so hard it cracked, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I needed to leave, that much was obvious. I couldn't risk running into her again so unprepared. But did I risk getting too near her again in order to find Carlisle or Esme? No, they would understand. It wasn't as though anything could happen to me. I almost laughed at the thought of a mugger trying to win something from me as I would flee the scene. I could explain later, when they got home. And there were enough people that the host would not miss me leaving without giving my regards, or at least I hoped so.

I glanced at my surroundings. There were a few random groupings of guests on the balcony, so I couldn't just run off. I couldn't risk being seen. Or not being seen when I should be seen. If I ran fast enough, it would look as if I had simply disappeared into thin air. As much as I wanted to disappear, that was probably not the best idea. I did not need to sully Carlisle's good reputation.

But luck decided to show her face for a brief instant as someone from inside called for a toast. The couple nearest to me turned to look to the speaker and I grabbed my chance, slipping into the shadows. Once I was sure no one was looking my way – and could be pretty sure when I could read that everyone's thoughts were directed elsewhere – I leaped over the balcony and ran home without a backward glance.


	2. Facing the Call

_AN – Happy Monday, Guys! Thanks for your comments on the last chapter, I love to hear from you. To the comment that Edward seems a little sexist, you have to understand the time period he's in. This is before women were seen as able to really be anything of consequence. Either way, he gets better, promise. And I am going to be trying very hard to update every Monday, because really, we need something to look forward to. Mondays suck._

_Still Stephenie Meyer's characters, I'm just playing around. _

_Please let me know what you think!_

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"Are you alright?" Esme greeted me with a worried expression as soon as she and Carlisle walked through the door of their lovely home. "I got so worried when you ran off like that. What happened?"

I had been sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at the wall, and I looked up at her rather miserably as she spoke. I had just been run out of a party by some frail, human girl-child! Not the best self-esteem booster, that. Esme sunk onto the couch next to me and wrapped one arm around my shoulder, trying to urge me to speak. She looked so worried, as if I really was her son, rather than just playing the part sometimes. When we moved from place to place, we each took a different role either so that people don't make funny connections, or just for a change of pace. This time, I think Carlisle wanted to make me more respectable – an orphan doesn't offer much as a marriage prospect – so I became his wealthy cousin from a respectable family. I think he might have had some ulterior motives, such as finding me a companion of some sort, despite the ludicrousness of it all. But I digress. I sighed heavily.

"There was a…complication," I finally said.

"What kind of complication?" Esme urged, gently. Her thoughts were filled only with concern, not the judgment or disappointment that I feared would soon shade them.

"There was a girl." Esme and Carlisle exchanged confused glances. "And before you start, yes that _is_ a bad thing. Her blood…I've never smelt anything so beautiful and so horrible at the same time before. It made my mouth water. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid." I was staring at the carpet again, waiting for the condemnation.

It didn't come. "Oh, Edward," Esme's soothing voice slid through my distress as she pulled my head to her chest and hugged me tightly. "Edward, I'm proud of you for getting yourself out of there. Don't be ashamed of your limits."

"If someone's blood calls to you, it's near impossible to deny," Carlisle added softly. "It's part of our makeup. And if her blood truly was calling to you, then you must have been very strong to refuse to give into temptation."

They were just trying to make me feel better, I knew it. What I wanted to do was run away from this town until that girl was gone. But I'm not a coward! Who was she to run me out of my home! I couldn't run away, that was admitting defeat. I could hear Esme's fear echoing my own thoughts, praying that I would stay.

But I couldn't stay either - that was a death wish. Literally on her behalf and mentally on mine. I sighed again and withdrew from my surrogate mother's embrace. "I'm not going anywhere. As much as I may want to run, my home is here, with you two." I didn't want to relive the loneliness along with the shame. I had only recently returned from my…rebellion. I had tried the life without the constant denial, but the heavy conscience that accompanied murder after murder was not worth it. Even though I had hunted the scum of the earth, I still hated it. And I didn't want to go back to that feeling. That inevitable feeling of self-loathing natural for a vampire like me.

"What should I do?" I looked over to Carlisle for guidance.

"Well, son, I think you're on the right track. You need to be crystal clear on what your limits are. Don't push yourself beyond what you can do."

That wasn't extremely helpful. I knew that already. "So, what if I run into her again? I mean, this city is not exactly large, and her social circle and ours are bound to cross many a path."

"Well, you spent a little bit of time in her presence tonight, didn't you?" At my nod he continued, "Well, maybe if you conditioned yourself to her scent little by little, you could desensitize yourself. At least enough so that you could appear in good company without any problems."

That might work. I told him so, slightly encouraged. "How should I go about conditioning myself? I don't think I'll be running into her every day, and I know I'll need to be around her for long periods of time after awhile. I don't want to frighten her any more than necessary."

Carlisle's brow furrowed in thought. I could hear his mind racing through different possibilities – escorting her around town, finding odd reasons to call upon her father, and other unimpressive ideas of the same mold.

"I suppose I have to planning to do on my own," I said, slightly dejected. I had to find some way to conquer this.

I retired to my bedroom and stretched out on my bed. I didn't need it for the usual reasons – vampires don't sleep – but I still liked the feel of lying down on a soft comforter. Precious few things in my world were soft.

Sprawled there, I stared at my ceiling. I wished I could sleep and let my subconscious find something for me while I rested. But that was one luxury I had long since lost.

A few days later I still had not found a solution and was rudely reminded of such when I literally collided with the girl on the streets. Well, _she_ collided with _me_, to be more accurate.

It was a very cloudy day, and I was out running an errand for Carlisle, picking up a delivery of anesthesia that had just arrived at the post office. He didn't quite trust his less-agile associates to handle something so precious and fragile. I had rounded the corner just a block from my destination when she came barreling towards me, bumping into me and nearly crashing to the ground. I grasped her arm and steadied her in one fluid movement without even thinking about it.

"Are you alright?" I hadn't seen her face yet, and the wind was blowing the wrong direction again. Or rather, the right direction, away from me, carrying her impossibly desirable scent with it. She stood there, precariously, trying to get her bearings when the wind shifted and her scent hit me, assaulting my senses.

I dropped her arm as if it had scalded me and went sill as a statue - tense, and not breathing. She looked up at me, startled. "I'm fine, thank you," her voice was shaky. "I'm just horribly lost and very late." She looked frightened suddenly, as if noticing how I wasn't breathing. I labored to breathe in very small amounts of air, to at least give the appearance of normal human breathing. "Are _you_ alright?"

Was she _worried_ about _me_? "Perfectly fine." I said briskly, careful not to dwell on her luscious scent wafting around me. Her big brown eyes were disconcerting. It was like she could see into my mind, instead of the other way around. She was staring up at me, an odd mix of thankfulness and uncertainty in her eyes, as if she were wondering why I would bother to help her and then act like she was some sort of poison. I couldn't read her face, but her mind should be enlightening.

Although, actually…I listened carefully. Nothing. I could hear nothing from her mind. It was like I was standing in front of thin air, like she didn't even exist. I could hear the threads of minds passing by, wondering what kind of bread they should buy, or where their friend was, or other uninspiring thoughts, but this girl…nothing.

I cocked my head, staring down at her, concentrating. She was clearly here in front of me, why couldn't I hear her?

We stood there for several minutes, just staring at each other. She was actually quite pretty, now that I saw her in the light. Her dark hair was swept elegantly back in a clip, with a few loose strands framing her face. Her skin was startling pale, almost as pale as mine. She had a delicacy about her such that if I had let her fall, she might have shattered into a million pieces.

This was not a helpful train of thought. I was not going to think about how easy it would be to break her…

A dog suddenly yelped nearby, causing both of us to jump. She looked down guiltily. "Sorry. I, um, I really should be going. My father is expecting me."

"Do you need help finding your way back home?" She looked as surprised as I felt when I suggested helping her. Why should I torment myself any longer? But it felt like the natural thing to do. And she had mentioned she was lost…

"Are you sure? I don't want to cause you any trouble."

If she only knew. "No trouble at all," I said carefully, trying to relax my muscles. "I was only running errands, and I want to apologize for my rudeness the other night."

"Oh, thank you!" Her eyes were full of trust as I began leading the way back to the police chief's home – it was a small society I lived in, and everyone knew where everyone lived.

"My name is Edward Cullen, by the way. I realize we haven't been properly introduced." I said conversationally. "Edward Masen by birth, actually, but I've taken Cullen on as I've been living with my cousin."

"Isabella Swan. But, please, call me Bella." She smiled shyly at me.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Bella." I grinned at her. I was getting surprisingly desensitized, and I allowed myself to breathe more normally. She still smelled appallingly delicious, but it was getting a little easier to suppress the urge to lead her astray. And knowing that her father was expecting her gave me no small incentive to get her home quickly. An angry police chief was the last thing my family needed. Not to mention the atrocity of what my monster was contemplating.

I tried to distract myself with small talk and asked her what had brought her to her new place of residence. Maybe knowing her history would clear up some of the mystery of why her mind eluded me.

Her smile grew a little sad. "My mother remarried."

"That doesn't seem to be cause for you to move away."

"Part of me thinks that way, too. But when she left my father, she was a disgraced woman. She got work as a school teacher, but we lived rather poorly. No one would want the daughter of a poor, single, school teacher." I opened my mouth to disagree – I had seen the heads turning her way at the party, but she continued on, "So she remarried. And while I like my new stepfather well enough, it still wasn't the best place for me, socially speaking. At least according to my mother. She wants the best for me, and I realized that Charlie – my father – was well-established here. I thought that if I came here where the prospects are better, it would stop her from worrying about me. Besides," she made a face, "newlyweds aren't much fun to be around."

She suddenly realized what she had just said – talking about the acts of _newlyweds_ in public – and her cheeks pooled with color as the blood rushed to the surface at her embarrassment. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her rosy cheeks, and forced my mind to steer towards thoughts not dominated by her blood, no matter how luscious the color made her appear.

I did laugh lightly at her last comment in spite of myself, as I thought about her story. "Do you _want_ marriage prospects?" I asked.

She looked slightly horrified, "Oh, not at all! Look at my parents and what happened to them. They married for love at a very young age, but it wasn't enough. The love faded and the money ran out. So, my mother left. I don't want that to happen to me."

She was going to be in for a surprise then. I knew several of the local young men were looking for prospective brides, and she was a shiny, new specimen. And she was unusual, that much was glaringly obvious. She wasn't preoccupied with herself, vain, and dim-witted like most of the girls around here. And against my better judgment, she was starting to intrigue me.

"Oh, here we are," she said, surprised that we had reached her home so quickly. Time passes quickly when you're telling your life story, it seems. She turned to me at the gate of her modest home. "Thank you so much for escorting me. I never would have found it without you."

"I'm sure you would have managed," I chuckled. "Have a nice day, Miss Bella." I bid her farewell.

Her eyes widened just a fraction, "Wait, when shall I see you again?"

She wanted to see me again. Oh no, she could not get attached to me. I stiffened and said, "I don't know. And I don't know if that would be a good idea anyway. Good day."

I caught her confused and hurt look just before I turned. It pained me to hurt her, for some reason. But I knew it was for the best, for her not to know me. I'd leave before she would even notice I was gone, the way my family moves so often. But that, too, was an inevitability that I had grown accustomed to. It happens, when you do not age - vampires are forever in the state we were in when we were changed. We can pass for a few years older and younger, but we can never stay in one place for very long. I had learned long ago not to form connections.

But that didn't stop me from wanting them.

So that night, after returning home with the supplies I had originally set out to get for Carlisle, I left the house, bound for Bella's. The fact that I could not read her mind still gnawed at me. And I had been alright this afternoon…so it wouldn't hurt me to see her again. And it would be even better for her, because she wouldn't see me, and I could still get used to her scent.

I reached her home in a matter of minutes (I could travel much more quickly by myself – super-speed is one vampire trait I love). Under the cover of night, I could move freely, and I moved soundlessly without even trying. I crept around to the backside for the house. It was late enough that all the lights were off, so hopefully everyone was asleep. I knew Charlie would be. He was an early riser and went to bed as early as he could. But I didn't know about Bella. It was easy enough to find her room – her window was open and her scent drifted down toward me. I had a firm grip on myself before moving forward. There was a conveniently placed tree just out side her window. I swung myself up and landed lightly on a protruding branch.

I peered in her open window. She was fast asleep, wrapped in her blankets and breathing evenly. Her scent was heavy, drawing me in.

I was inside her room before I realized I was moving, entranced by her smell and her unconscious allure. She mumbled sleepy, incoherent sounds. I shook my head, holding my breath once again, trying to clear my mind. Was this a bad idea? I looked around her room to distract the ever-thirsty monster.

It was covered in boxes, her room. A few were open, spilling contents across the floor. Books were stacked high, with a couple scattered here and there, as if she had gotten distracted mid-unpacking and started to read, only to catch herself a moment later and start working feverishly again, tossing the book away. Her clothes were hanging neatly in her closet. I ran my hands over the smooth fabric. The dresses were modest, of unimpressive material. Not quite the quality I was used to. Living without limit to years or time, one tends to accumulate a large sum of money. Not to mention the amount willed to me by my birth parents. 

I drifted cautiously toward Bella's bedside. There was a portrait on her night stand. I picked it up and sat in the wicker chair by the window I had entered through. The portrait was undeniably of Bella and her mother. They looked so much alike it was almost difficult to decipher which was the mother and which was the daughter. Bella's eyes were deep and intense, while her mother's were playful and laughing. Her mother seemed so young. No wonder Bella felt she had to take care of her.

"Edward."

I jumped up at the sound of her voice. Had she woken? Did she see me? Would she call for her father? If my heart still beat, it would have been racing. Instead, I stood as still as a statue, staring at her small form.

She rolled over, sighed, and continued to breathe evenly. She was still asleep.

I started breathing again. She simply talked in her sleep! I set the portrait back where I had found it, making sure it was as exactly as it was before I picked it up. I knelt down to stare at Bella's sleeping face.

She breathed my name again. What was she dreaming about? Me?

Oh, this was no good, no good at all. She couldn't be dreaming about me, she couldn't be wanting me. I looked at her one last time before standing up and climbing out the window. I had to remove myself from her life, completely. I would not appear to her again until it was impossible for her to want me.


	3. Engaged

_AN: Once again, many thanks to those who reviewed! It really makes me happy to hear what you think. For the person who asked if the story was going to be like Rosalie's, well, I can't tell you too much, but I will say that around chapter…8 or 9 I think, the story veers away from _Twilight_ similarities drastically and becomes its own thing. I wanted to a have a nice base in the Twilight-verse, which is why there are so many similarities now. The same story in a different setting can get kind of boring, so know that it will change. Also, many, many thanks to choosetodream for her awesome beta work! _

_Disclaimer: still Stephenie's characters, I'm just playing with them._

_--- _

**Chapter 3**

It much was easier than I thought it would be to avoid Bella.

"Isabella Swan has officially been promised to James McCoy." Carlisle announced as he walked through the front door about a week after I spied in Bella's room.

I dropped the newspaper I'd been reading, "What?!" I exclaimed, "She's only been here a few weeks! How can she already be engaged?" I was angrier than I should have been. I shouldn't have felt anything at all. But the thought of _Bella_ with that rich, pompous idiot…my fists clenched. The McCoys were the richest family in town, and in all the towns within several miles. The girls all fawned over James, and he hobnobbed only with other rich snobs. His family was born rich, and made sure everyone knew it. Needless to say, James was not one of my favorite people. And, his engagement to Bella was not exactly endearing him to me any further.

But how could she choose him? She was cheery, empathetic, and friendly – everything that he was not.

"I'm just reporting the gossip I heard at the clinic today," Carlisle held up his hands defensively, interrupting my unpleasant thought process. "Apparently James went to her father last night to ask for her hand. Charlie agreed. And his daughter doesn't seem to be putting up much of a fight. The McCoys are quite rich. She'll never want for anything, and the boy is not unattractive. I can see why she would accept."

_I_ couldn't. Maybe she simply accepted to keep her mother from having to worry about her. Or maybe she really did like the guy.

That thought left a very bad taste in my mouth.

I trudged out of the house before I knew where I was going, not bothering to grab a jacket. I needed to vent some of my frustration, so I let my feet lead the way. It was still daylight out, though cloudy, so I couldn't run. I had to settle for walking briskly in no particular direction.

Before too long, however, I was standing in front of the Swan's house. Of course my feet would lead me here. I glared at the offending structure in front of me. It stood there, looking innocently back at me.

As it should. I sighed and slumped over the lean on the iron gate that surrounded the house. I shouldn't be so worked up over this. I should be glad she found someone else, someone human. What was I thinking? It wasn't as though _I_ could have her. Even if I wanted her…

Stop right there. Did I want her? No, I had never wanted any girl before, not like that. I lived alone and independent. I had felt the pains of loneliness when I looked at the love between Carlisle and Esme, but I never expected to feel anything like that love. I was a vampire, doomed to live my life alone. That was the way it worked. And if I kept telling myself that, I wouldn't build any hopes or have them smashed to a million pieces. With as long as I had to live, I didn't want to be burdened with the pain of a broken heart. Because anything I felt was doomed to failure, courtesy of the cursed of being a vampire.

But was I betraying myself? Was I feeling without my permission? It was undeniable that she intrigued me. She was different from any other girl I had seen. She cared more for others than herself, and that trait alone put her leagues above the other ladies in our society. And there was the undeniable fact that I couldn't see into her mind. She was something special, even if I couldn't quite explain in words why.

"Edward? Is that you?"

I cursed under my breath and straightened quickly at the light sound of her voice. Bella stood a few feet away from me. You'd think that even though I couldn't hear her mind approaching, her smell would have caught my attention. I was really out of it. She looked at me expectantly.

"Evening, Miss Bella." I replied, curbing the edge that was threatening to attack. "I hear congratulations are in order." I tried not too sound sulky. As ridiculous as that notion was.

"Ah. Well," she looked down, embarrassed and blushing lightly, "Thank you, I suppose. It took us all by surprise." She didn't react at all like I had expected. Usually newly engaged girls were all giggles and smiles, even more unintelligible that usual. This girl seemed…more embarrassed than anything else.

"You don't seem to be very excited," I commented, not at all subtly.

Her blush deepened, "Well, I hardly know him. I suppose I'll get more excited as the day approaches."

"You'll marry someone you hardly know?" My eyebrow went up.

"Well, I've seen the alternative fail horribly. At least this way I'll be provided for." She shrugged, "And the wedding is still a long ways away. I'll get to know him soon enough." She hesitated a moment before continuing, "Besides, it's not like I have any alternatives."

"Not any alternatives? Are you joking?" I was disgusted. It must have shown on my face, because Bella moved to reach her hand out and touch my cheek.

I flinched back instinctively. The smell of her wrist so _close_… "I have to go," I said, jaw clenched. "Excuse me."

"No, wait! I'm sorry," She pulled her hand back, ashamed. "I didn't mean anything, I just…" she trailed off, unsure how to continue. She looked so frail, it would be so easy to – no, no it wouldn't.

"I really have to go," I said brusquely and turned away.

I groaned inwardly as I jogged off. Running away, yet again. I felt her eyes staring at the back of me. I tried not to picture the hurt that would be there and failed. I took a deep breath of fresh air as soon as I got out of her range. Was I doomed to be tortured by this creature until she died? I shuddered at the thought of her dead. But that was the inevitable end, wasn't it? Even if I felt something for her, she would grow old with someone – James, a name quickly becoming equal to that of a curse in my mind – and die.

Rain suddenly started to fall from the sky, drenching me in moments. I kept running, my feet splashing carelessly through the puddles that were quickly forming.

But I wasn't running fast enough. I heard Bella calling my name behind me, splashing water every where. I turned, exasperated. I wasn't about to let the poor girl die of pneumonia, and the water was diluting her scent, making it slightly more bearable. I took a deep breath and braced myself for the assault.

But just as I turned around, time seemed to stand still. A flash of lightning lit the sky and thunder cracked seconds later. I could see a carriage, suddenly wheeling out of control. The rain was falling so heavily now that the driver could not see, and the horse was frightened senseless, going far too fast across the slick stone road.

They were going to hit Bella.

I couldn't let that happen.

It all happened in a matter of seconds, I dashed to push her against the storefront where the carriage was skidding out of control and braced myself in front of her, waiting for impact. Bella's eyes stared wide at me in fear for a brief second, then clenched shut in anticipation.

The carriage hit me broadside, the thin spokes of the wheels cracking, and the harness snapped with a loud crack. The horse reared, screaming, and galloped off as another flash of lightning blinded me. I could feel the carriage bend around the shape of my body, with a painful squeal of metal breaking off. Bella's body tensed even more and shook slightly on impact. I felt claustrophobic, with my body pressing hers so firmly against the brick wall and the carriage very much at my back. I could hear the glass of the windows shattering around me and silently prayed that nothing would cut the girl in front of me, that nothing would hurt her or spill her blood.

And then, suddenly, all was still. Bella's labored breathing tickled my ear, and I could hear nothing else. I slowly pulled back from her (pushing the carriage along with me), and carefully checked her over for injury. She was fine – a little shaky, but fine. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Edward," her voice cracked as she looked at me in amazement, "What just…_are you okay_?"

Oh yeah. Normal humans can't stop carriagess careening out of control by simply standing in front of them. How was I going to get out of this one?

"Fine." I replied tonelessly. "You?" I tried not to let concern creep into my question, but I think it did anyway. I mean, the poor girl was almost crushed to death. How could I not feel concern?

"I'm great," she answered, breathlessly. "I just, oh no," she stumbled a little, "is that the driver?"

I looked over my shoulder to see a man slumped on the ground in an unnatural position not far from us – he'd obviously been thrown from the driver's seat, and I hadn't seen him in my panic. Nothing looked broken, but he did not look well. Blood was seeping from a deep gash in his head.

"Is that…blood?" Now she looked really queasy. I held out an arm to steady her. She mumbled, "I think…I need to...sit down," and then promptly passed out.

I caught her easily and carefully picked her up into my arms. I didn't want to lay her on the wet pavement. I glanced at the driver one last time to make sure he wasn't in critical condition. He would survive long enough for me to go get Carlisle . And get Bella inside and warm.

I raced through the cool evening air. Rain was still pattering around me, but I paid it no mind. I focused on getting home. And not on the warm girl wrapped in my arms. My panic for her well-being overruled my lust for her blood for once, but I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I could not get attached to this human girl.

I burst through the front door, " Carlisle! I need you!" He appeared in an instant.

"Edward, what is it?" He looked at the unconscious girl in my arms, alarmed. "What happened?"

"Crash. I'll explain later." I said in a rush, "The driver is still in the street, he needs help. Corner of 21st and Main." He nodded and disappeared into the rain.

I carefully set Bella down on the sofa and Esme appeared with a thick blanket and a change of dry clothes. "Here, dear, I need to get her out of those wet things. I hate to think of what could happen if she were to catch anything on top of the stress she's just faced." She handed me the blanket and clothes and deftly stripped Bella of her wet things. I carefully looked away.

Even, perhaps especially, at a time like this, I knew it would _not_ be a good idea to see her without clothing, no matter how dire the situation.

Esme draped the wet things over the back of the sofa and dressed Bella in the dry clothes, then wrapped her up in the blanket. "Take her wet things and hang them over the fireplace." She ordered gently, adding as an afterthought, "And get a fire going."

I did as she said, quickly starting a roaring fire in the hearth. We didn't usually keep one going, since we were immune to cold, but we sometimes had to start one for appearance's sake. I hung Bella's things across the mantelpiece, carefully out of flames' reach. Hopefully they would dry before she woke and would be ready for her when she went home.

A pang of worry filled my chest at the thought of her going home. I didn't want to see her leave.

No, I stopped that thought in its tracks. I couldn't keep her. Move on to more practical worries. I drifted to sit on the floor by her side and Esme went to the kitchen to find something warm for her to drink when she woke up. That might take awhile, considering the fact that we don't eat human food. Perhaps she had something for when the rare guests came over.

I sighed and gazed at Bella's peaceful face. What was I going to tell her? How on earth could I explain what had just happened?

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_Thanks again for reading and please review!_


	4. Saved

_Author's Notes: I'm so bored right now, and am going to be ridiculously busy this week, so here's your chapter a day early. Many thanks to everyone who has left me a review, those really make my day. And those of you who just add this story to favs without reviewing, please review, too! Even if you have nothing better to say than "I liked [this part," every review helps make my life a little brighter and my writing a little better. And I need all the light I can get – working 20 hrs/wk, teaching/observing 12 hrs/wk and taking 16 credits…life is hectic. _

_Once again, many many thanks to my amazing beta, choosetodream! _

_--- _

Chapter 4

It wasn't long before she started to stir and regain consciousness. I was still at her side when her eyelashes fluttered and her eyes drifted open. They slowly focused, and Bella scooted back with a gasp.

"Edward!" She looked around wildly, "What happened? Where am I? Are you ok? Did the carriage hurt you? Where'd the horse go?"

I smiled reassuringly (and a bit amused) "I'm perfectly fine. We're at my home. I brought you here after you passed out. You've been through quite the ordeal." I thought my close proximity was starting to make her nervous – I could hear her heartbeat start to race. I backed off and sat in the nearby armchair.

"Are you sure you're ok? I mean, you were hit with a carriage!" She eyed me critically.

I took a breath. I had to play this right. "I think you're a little confused," I started with a gentle smile, "I pulled you out the way of the carriage, and it crashed beside us. Then when you saw the driver bleeding, you fainted and I brought you here."

Her eyebrows drew together as she sat up and looked at me in confusion, "No, you were a block away from me. I couldn't catch up to you. And then that carriage came right at me, I thought I was going to be crushed." She looked me straight in the eyes. "But then you appeared out of nowhere to stand in front of me like a shield."

"Are you suggesting that I was hit by a runaway carriage and survived to tell the tale?" I mocked. "You know that's not possible."

"Possible or not, it happened. I know what I saw."

She was a stubborn thing. I wasn't expecting that. Most girls would bend their will to appease whoever they were pursuing. One with her own opinion was unheard of in this uptight society.

"Bella, I think you need to rest. You must be unwell, you've been under a lot of stress today." I stood up to fetch Esme and something warm for Bella to eat. "I'll get you some tea and then you should go home. Your _fiancé _must have heard what happened by now. He'll be worried." I couldn't help but stress the offending word.

She dropped her gaze to the blanket covering her lap and began picking at it. "I doubt it."

That stopped me in my tracks. I waited for her to continue, but when she didn't, I turn around and looked at her in amazement. She looked so sad and small. "What do you mean?"

She glanced up at me, surprised that I would ask, then fixed her eyes back on the blanket. I don't blame her for being surprised that I cared. I was sending so many mixed signals, with my pathetically failing attempt to _not care_. "He's too wrapped up in himself to notice much around him. He wouldn't be bothered with news of a car crash."

Strings of unpleasant names ran across my mind, each not foul enough to adequately describe a man who didn't appreciate the good thing he had. I wanted to comfort her. So I turned to the kitchen. "I'm getting some tea."

Esme was in the kitchen, like I'd known. She had managed to rustle up some tea bags and the water was just reaching a boiling point. She looked at me knowingly, "Edward, dear," she began, "it's not such a bad thing to get close to someone. Comforting someone is not a crime."

I looked at her. "It's not that simple." I leaned on the counter, thoroughly depressed. "I'm already getting attached," I confessed suddenly. Perhaps Esme would have some advice. I looked pleading into her eyes, "What should I do? She's _engaged_. And _human_."

Esme came over to stand beside me and drape one arm across my shoulders. "Edward, she's scared. You can be a friend. No harm can come from being her friend. And look how well you're dealing with her blood-call! Even when there was blood spilt earlier – no matter whose it was – you kept your head. You can do whatever you put your mind to." She smiled and hugged my shoulders. "Now go take her some tea."

It made sense what she said. I brought the tea back into the living room where Bella was sitting with her legs curled up in front of her. She looked at me cautiously, like I was going to disappear or something.

"I'm sorry, I've been very rude to you," I said, as I gave her the cup as a peace offering. "I shouldn't be taking out my personal anger on you. It's just better for you to stay away from me."

She looked surprised as she accepted the cup from me and took a long sip. She held the cup in both hands and stared at me, as if trying to figure out my secrets. "It's a little late for that, I think. But what have you to be angry about?" she asked skeptically and took another sip.

I paused. Should I tell her the truth? "I just think you've been dealt a bad hand," I answered slowly. "You deserve someone who worries about you, who realizes what a good thing he has." Part of the truth, then.

She blushed and looked into her cup shyly. That blush was lovely. It caused the monster to stir, but I was in control. It gave me a feeling of satisfaction, to see that I could interact with her like a normal human being.

"Why should anyone worry about me?" Her soft voice broke through my reverie.

I was shocked. Did she not see how special she was? _How could she not_? I knelt in front of her and, pausing briefly to test my limits, placed one hand under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eyes. Her skin was so warm and soft.

"You are a beautiful, caring human being. I have never met anyone quite like you. You deserve the best."

Her eyes widened in disbelief and her breath caught. Her heart was pounding wildly.

"Breathe, Bella." I smiled.

She let out a shaky breath, laughing nervously. Her cheeks were bright pink. "I…I should probably be getting home. My father is most likely going crazy wondering where I am."

That was probably the best idea I'd heard all night. "I'll take you home. Your things should be dry by now. You can change in one of the spare rooms while I go hitch the horse up. The storm seems to have let up, and our horse is even-tempered. You'll be safe with her."

She looked down at what she wearing for the first time and noticed she wasn't in her own clothes. If possible her blush deepened. I walked toward the door, chuckling, "And before you ask, Esme changed your clothes so you wouldn't catch cold." I didn't see her reaction, but I could hear her heart beat nervously.

It was an uneventful ride back to her home. The rain had let up somewhat, but she was still a little tense. I glanced at her rigid form and wanted so badly to put a comforting arm around her. But I couldn't do that. Engaged, engaged, engaged. So I settled for, "Don't worry, I'm a good driver. I'll get you home in one piece."

Amazingly, she relaxed somewhat. At her house, I reined the little cobalt mare in in front and came around to walk her to the door, umbrella in hand to guard against the faint drizzle. I didn't want her getting any wetter tonight.

At her door, I bid her goodnight. She smiled at me and said, "Thank you, truly, for saving my life tonight." She hesitated before continuing and opened the door to her home, "And I know I'm not crazy. I hope you'll trust me to tell me what really happened, someday."

And then she disappeared behind the door.

_Trust her?_ I hadn't trusted anyone outside of my adopted family for as long as I'd been a part of it. This really was getting to be dangerous. My mind was racing as I climbed back in the driver's seat and headed back to my own home.

I didn't regret saving her, not in the slightest. If anyone in this miserable city deserved to live, it was her. But this latest development – the fact that she was too observant and that she wanted me to trust her – this might be getting to be too much. Did I need to take myself out of the picture?

It would be easy enough to do. In theory, anyway. I could roam for a while, live the life of the nomad as so many of my kind did, and gain a deeper appreciation for my unique little family. I could look for others like us, others who didn't want to kill humans to survive. I could go hunting in new or exotic places. The options were endless. I would just leave and not come back until Bella was gone.

In practice however, that was a different story. I didn't want to leave.

But which was really for the better? If I stayed, Bella was sure to come after me. She was too curious for her own good. She would not rest until she had won my trust and I revealed my secrets to her. Not that she had any idea how many secrets I kept, she only craved the answer to the mystery of the car crash.

And something told me that no matter how good a story I came up with, she would always be able to see through me with those big, brown eyes of hers. I would end up telling the truth, and then either scar her for life or bring the fragile friendship we'd built crashing to the floor. Neither option looked so great.

So I would need to leave. Perhaps just for an extended hunting trip, just long enough for her to get married, and then she'd be busy with her new life.

Married. I shuddered. I didn't want her married to that foul creature. That wolf prancing around in sheep's clothing.

And he truly had the nature of a wolf. I'd heard rumors from the streets of foul play and most ungentlemanly-like behavior. No one in his circle suspected anything, of course, they all worshipped the ground his richly shod feet walked on. His money was more than enough to buy society's approval. It made me sick.

I pulled up to the house and the put our mare up far too soon. Carlisle and Esme were discussing me inside, worried, but just a little excited that I had taken notice of someone outside our family. I went back to the stable and just sat for a minute, trying to think of the best way to tell them that I was taking a little trip.

Should I let them think it was just an innocent trip, that I was just itching to run and hunt some big game? No, I mentally shook my head. They deserved to know. They would probably suspect anyway. They knew me too well. The only two people in the world that knew me and I was leaving them.

I took a deep breath to calm myself. I wasn't going to leave them for good. I would be back before long. A couple of months was like a couple of seconds compared to the lifespan we were expected to live. Maybe less. I could do this.

When I came through the door, they looked up at me guiltily, like I had just caught two children with their hands in the cookie jar. They knew I knew exactly what they had been discussing. And they were both too parental to want me knowing their wishes for me. I was still a teenager, after all. That part of me wanted to rebel on standard alone. Mentally, I'd progressed a little further thanks to experience, but I was still young at heart.

At any rate, I knew they didn't want me to be alone. They knew how much I hated it. They wanted what was best for me, whether it was a friend in Miss Bella Swan or not.

They took the news better than I thought they would, or at least they guarded their thoughts around me to make me think so.

"If that's what you think is best, Edward," Esme placed her pale hand on mine, "then that's what you should do. We'll be here waiting for you."

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_Please review! And Happy Valentine's Day! Maybe there'll be a surprise for you…:-)_


	5. Running Away

_AN: Happy Valentine's Day! As a gift, here's a little bit of Edward for you, I hope you enjoy. Even thought this isn't really romantic or anything fun like that and he still technically belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'll take what I can get. But hey, HUGE plot movement at the end, and the next chapter is one of my favorites. I'm excited. _

_There should still be another chapter post on Monday, although it'll probably be up a little bit later in the day, as I'll be traveling for President's Day (yay no school!) and won't get home 'til late. _

_Many thanks again to my amazing beta, choosetodream, and to everyone who left a review! I love you guys!_

_--- _

Chapter 5

I left the next evening, under the cover of night. I didn't need to take anything with me except for a little cash. I planned to stay out of sight, and I could provide for myself without any trouble, so it really wasn't necessary to bring anything. But I wanted to be safe, just in case.

I took one last look at the house before I left. It had been a good house, a good home, during the short time I had lived there. And I _would_ see it again.

I started running. And I kept running.

I ran until there was nothing left. I wanted to get as far away as possible as soon as possible. Which, considering my super-human stamina, plus the push of sorrow coursing through my brain, was quite the distance.

When I felt I was far enough and could not keep up the blistering pace, I stopped to rest for a few days. Then I started to run again, at a more leisurely pace, hunting along the way. There was no exciting game where I traveled. Deer and a few wildcats.

I stopped when I reached the ocean, deep in uncharted and unclaimed territory. I was still far enough North that the weather was still cool, especially for the spring.

Sometime along the way I had stopped keeping track of time. Bella's wedding was a month from the day I had left. Surely it would take at least that month to run across the country like I was. Granted, I was running day and night, rarely stopping, but still. I had to fill the sometime.

If I wasn't running, I started thinking too hard. When I ran, I could focus on the feel of the wind on my face, revel in the freedom of almost flying across the ground. I could smell everything and nothing. There was a beautiful absence of human scent. There was no internal struggle to restrain my instincts. I could simply let myself be without fearing for the consequences. There was no clamor of strangers' voices inside my head – there was only me, Edward. It was a glorious feeling, and it was all too easy to loose myself in it.

But when I stopped, I remembered why I was running away. Who I was running away from. And if I let myself linger too long on those thoughts, I would want to run back. It was an odd sensation, knowing that running away was both hurting and helping me. Helping me stay away from a poor innocent girl, but hurting me because I wanted so badly to be near her.

I stood on a cliff overlooking the ocean and stared out into the deep blue. The moon reflected in the gentle waves like a crystal ball. I could taste the salty air and hear the cries of gulls. There were no humans within 50 miles of me. It was just me and the ocean. Taking in a deep breath, I felt very much at peace.

But I didn't want to stand still. And yet there was no place left to run. Anywhere I went would be on the way back to New York.

So I stayed on the cliff for at least a week. Seven beautiful sunrises and sunsets slightly obscured by the heavy cloud cover.

Seven days is a long time when you're deliberately trying not to think of something. So more often than not, I was thinking about what I left behind.

By the end of the seventh day, I was more than ready to go back home. It would have been a month, right? It would be safe. Maybe she'd even be gone, moved away to start her new life.

The place where my heart used to beat felt a twinge at the thought of her leading a life without me. But that was the way the world worked. She could live happily ever after, and I would watch, perhaps living vicariously through her husband.

Okay, maybe not. The thought of owing anything to that…man disgusted me. But that life was not meant for me. I wasn't meant to be happy. Such was the curse of the vampire, of immortality.

My plan was set. I would hunt the prey I had come so far for, and then head home with a clear conscious.

As if on cue, I caught the scent of a mountain lion. A female, only about 10 miles south. With one last fleeting glance at the setting sun, I started the hunt, muscles tense and ready for action.

I raced through the mountain woods, hot on the trail. I could smell her, closer and closer. She was moving slowly. She had fed recently and was going to be slow with the lethargy of a full stomach. When I caught sight of her, she was lazing on a rock, yawning, her pink tongue lolling over her sharp white teeth, front paws stretching out in front of her. I paused, measuring the terrain and wind. I positioned myself upwind and crept closer. These were unnecessary precautions; she could never outrun me, even if she did get a head start. I dashed into the clearing and reached her, cleanly breaking her neck before she had even a chance to take a step. Before she even realized she was in danger.

It wasn't nearly as satisfying as I had hoped. Mountain lion was a bit of a delicacy since I had moved to New York – they weren't exactly covering the New England countryside. But I was distracted even as I hunted; my mind had already begun the long journey home. So when I took the cat down, she took a reflex swipe at me as she died, catching my shirt on her sharp claws. I hadn't been that sloppy since I couldn't remember when. I needed to get my head back on. I had to return in one piece.

After the carcass was drained of blood – a job that was thankfully done cleanly and successfully (after all, ripped clothes could be explained in civilization; blood not so much) – I decided I would need to clean up before going home. Emse would throw a fit if I returned in less that perfect shape. I had heard her last thoughts, after all, and she was more worried that she had let on. Sometimes she and Carlisle forget that I see inside their minds, and they don't control their thoughts as tightly as normal and something slips. Like this time, for instance. That was another thing that sped my return. I didn't want to cause them any unnecessary worry.

When I got close enough that I could ensure no further damage to my clothing, I made a brief pit stop at a clothing store. As I came close to the city limits, the first scent of human blood hit me like a tidal wave. Maybe this extended vacation wasn't such a great idea after all. I had gradually lost the desensitization I had built by being constantly surrounded by humans.

I panicked; what would this mean when I smelt Bella again? Her scent was already so potent, and that was when I was used to being constantly assaulted. What would happen now that my defenses were down? Could I afford more time away to build that wall back up?

I mentally shook my head. No, I wanted to go home, so that's where I was going. I would be strong enough. I'd done it before, I could do it again.

The shopping trip was as short as possible. I was getting anxious to get home. Thankfully, the clerk either didn't notice or didn't care about my ripped and very travel-worn clothes. She was quite helpful, in that slightly obnoxious way, fluttering around, asking if there was anything she could do. I don't think she looked away from my face once.

Alright, so good looks have some advantages.

Once out of the shop, I tried to figure the best way home. I could walk until nightfall, and then run the rest of the way. That seemed the most logical of course. Maybe I could do one thing logically and see how things turn out.

The house filled my vision a little after midnight when I finally reached it, breathing heavily out of habit. I listened carefully, Esme was home, worried about me, wondering when I'd be back. Carlisle was out. He must still be working.

Now, how to announce my homecoming?

Should I just come in the front door and shout out that I was back? Or maybe something more dramatic. I could go up to my room and come down the stairs like I'd been here all along. Or I could try to scare Esme, that might be more of a challenge, which is infinitely more fun. A vampire is very difficult to sneak up on. What with the super hearing and smell and everything. And me, I was pretty much impossible to sneak up on, since no matter how quietly you might be stepping, I can hear your mind. You can't just turn that off.

I was standing there in front of the house when Esme's thoughts triggered me to run for cover. She was leaving to meet Carlisle at his office. Perfect – this meant they'd both come home at the same time. I'd make myself comfortable in the living room as if I'd never left. So simple, and yet sure to surprise them. My scent is all over the house anyway, so that won't tip them off and neither of them had the enhanced abilities I did.

I watched Esme leave from behind the shadows of shrubbery that surrounded our home. She looked just the same as when I had left. I don't know if I expected any change, well, actually, I should have known not to expect any change, with the whole not aging vampire thing, plus I wasn't gone for that long, was I? It occurred to me that I didn't know exactly what day it was. I was sure I'd find out soon enough, so I shrugged it off and entered my home.

I made myself comfortable on the living room couch, reclining in my usual spot for reading. And it was perfectly visible from the front, giving me the chance to see their reactions when they walked in the door upon immediately seeing me.

However, their reaction wasn't quite what I had expected.

Esme burst through the front door a few hours after she left, with a frantic look on her face. Her expression only grew more intense when she saw me. "Edward!" she cried out, instantly at my side and hugging me tight. I sat up immediately, returning her embrace, thoroughly confused. Her thoughts were all jumbled and racing, I couldn't make sense of what had her so worked up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "Has something happened? Where's Carlisle?"

She pulled back to look at my face, eyes wide with worry and…something that looked like guilt? What had happened? My whole body tensed, waiting for her reply.

"Carlisle's fine, don't worry about him." She bit her lip and braced her arms against mine, "It's just…oh, Edward, I'm so sorry!"

I didn't have time to even begin trying to decipher what she could be sorry for when Carlisle flew through the open door, face taught. His clothes and hair were mussed, eyes fierce. I had never seen him like this. He was always so composed and easy-going, always in control. But that wasn't the thing that had me flying into a rage.

It was Bella Swan in his arms. Unconscious and broken.


	6. Once Bitten

_AN: First, many, many thanks to all of you who reviewed. A lot of you mentioned how you're confused about the time period. Well, I had wanted late 1800's, but didn't really research. I was just writing the story. Actually, I hadn't even decided on the time period when I was first writing, so it's all sorts of messed up and I'm a horrible editor. So either accept the anachronisms or make me edit those things out. Like the car. Actually, if I did get rid of the car and add a few more details, I could probably make this a lot less confusing. Maybe I'll work on that in a couple weeks when first block is over and I have SO much more time. We shall see. I'll let you know. For now, just enjoy the story, things really pick up from here._

_I was also really surprised I got the response I did to the last chapter – that one was actually my least favorite and quite possibly the hardest to write. I had to take a break and write something else (which became Chapter 9, I believe). This chapter, on the other hand, is one of my favorites, and was probably the most fun to write. ____ So please enjoy! And spread the word if you like this fic. I will do my best to always update on Mondays, as promised, but if you all make me feel loved and I get the chapters from my amazing beta, I may update more frequently._

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Chapter 6

"Bella!" I exclaimed and rushed to her side. "Carlisle, what happened?"

His eyes were hard. "I'm not sure. I found her like this in an alley on my way back. I couldn't leave her, even though…" his face fell a little, "even though… I think it's too late to save her."

"No! No, Carlisle, you have to try!" I looked at him frantically. "Please, Carlisle, don't let her die."

"I'll try my best. Help me lay her on the table and I'll get my supplies." He looked at me, full of grief, "But Edward, I don't think she'll make it. I've never seen anyone survive anything this bad." I set my face stubbornly and insisted he try anyway.

We laid her on the kitchen table. Her chest moved only very slightly. Her heart was beating too fast, it couldn't handle this speed. Her clothes were torn and dark bruises were starting to form all over her body.

I could see the distinct marks of fingers that had handled her too roughly as Carlisle left me alone to go get his tools.

And then she shifted ever so slightly exposing a cut that was sluggishly bleeding, and all hell broke loose.

The overwhelming scent of her struck me and combined with my anger at seeing her beaten, and I lost control. The dark side of me seized control of my muscles, and suddenly I was perched over her, my teeth barely an inch from her neck. There was no one to stop me. No reason to stop. She was dying anyway, the monster reasoned.

My stance could have been seen as protective, as half my body hovered over her, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. No one else would get to her. She was _mine!_ The sense of power flowed through my body as venom pooled in my mouth, and she shuddered, taking a last gasping breath.

Then she went silent. I struck.

I bit down on the vein pulsing just below her ear. My teeth broke skin, and I drank in the sweet, sweet liquid. It was hot, soothing my suddenly parched throat. Venom seeped into her bloodstream as I drank the most delicious thing I had ever experienced. It was if I had been sustained on dirt all my life and suddenly I was fed sweet nectar. It was better than I could have ever possibly imagined. If I knew something this sweet existed, I would have combed the globe until I had found it. I wouldn't have held back that first night I met her. I fell completely under the power of the sweet, sweet taste of her blood.

But then Carlisle's voice broke the spell. "Edward!" He gasped.

I suddenly saw what I was doing. _Who_ I was doing it to. I wrenched my eyes open and sprung away from her body.

No, no I hadn't given in. I hadn't killed her. I hadn't killed the most beautiful creature I'd ever met. It wasn't possible. I hadn't stolen life from an innocent girl. It couldn't be.

I looked at Carlisle, lost and confused. "What did I just do?" I whispered, scared.

He looked at me, pity written all over his face. "Edward, it's alright. She was already gone."

"No!" No, it couldn't be. I shouted in denial, "Carlisle she can't die, she can't be gone forever!"

He hesitated, and when he spoke it was in a very quiet tone, "You have another choice. You stopped in time. She might not be lost if you let the venom take its course."

The words hit me like a sledgehammer. Let the venom take its course? But then…

Then she would be like us. Like me. A vampire. Doomed to the life of loneliness and eternal thirst. Soulless.

I couldn't do that to her. Could I?

A war waged in my mind, and I looked at her frail, broken body. She had stopped bleeding, but her heart was still racing impossibly fast. It was undeniably true that she was dying, beyond the point of no return. There was no possible way to cure the venom that was now flowing through her veins. It was too far gone.

But did I finish the job, draining her of all blood, or did I let the venom run its course?

It was horrible of me, but I wanted to keep her. I wanted to see her smile again, wanted to see her big eyes stare up at me trustingly. I wanted to trust her.

Was that an impossible hope now? Was there any chance of forgiveness if I did that to her? She had a forgiving nature, I knew that, but everyone has their limits. Was this too far?

Her body began to shake, in sporadic seizures and I couldn't bear to hurt her anymore. Her blood would hold no joy for me. The allure was gone. I knew that with every gulp I would be hurting her more, and she had so clearly been hurt more than any person had ever deserved.

I composed my face and looked at Carlisle with cool eyes. "Let the venom run its course."

He nodded, accepting my decision. I tuned out his thoughts, not wanting to know what he thought of me. I turned my full attention to the girl on the table. "Is there anything we can do to ease the pain?" I asked quietly.

"No."

Suddenly a high pitched scream filled the air. She had regained consciousness and was feeling the whole of the pain now. She convulsed and tried to look around wildly. Her eyes landed on me, wide and full of fear. Her lips moved, trying to form a word, but no coherent sound came out. I could still read what she was trying to say, though.

Edward?

She mouthed my name in confusion, looking smaller and smaller as she shrank into herself, writhing in pain. I couldn't say anything. I had done this to her. I was causing her all of this pain. But I couldn't look away.

I met her eyes, trying to reassure her without words that I was here, that the pain would soon be over. Ridiculous as the thought that I could possibly be a reassuring sight seemed.

But it seemed to do something for her. A little of the fear drained from her eyes. Now she was just feeling the pain. And there was nothing I could do to help her.

I reached for her hand, wrapping her small fingers up in my large palm. She was so small! So fragile! How could she possible endure the pain of this without breaking into pieces?

She fell into blessed unconsciousness and was still.

It seemed surreal. I was standing in our dining room, grasping the hand of a dying girl who was curled up on the table. A girl whose blood was sweeter than anything I could have ever imagined, and yet I reviled the thought of drinking it again. This was a girl who was reassured by the sight of the one who was causing her so much pain. I looked around and saw Carlisle and Esme looking at me anxiously.

I tried to put a reassuring expression on my face, but I don't think I succeeded. So I tried a different track and asked, my voice void of emotion if there was we could move her someplace more comfortable than the dining room table. Esme suggested one of the spare rooms upstairs.

I carefully gather Bella up in my arms and relocated to the empty room next to mine. I gently laid her on the bed. Her eyelids fluttered as she watched her dreams begin. I could only hope that she found some refuge in them.

If I thought the first day was never-ending, the second day was a hellish eternity.

She cried in her sleep, tossing and turning for hours on end before suddenly screaming herself awake. Her heart was always pounding too fast, as if it were going to burst from her chest - until late in the evening of the second day when it stopped.

I was still by her bedside, wiping the sweat from her face with a cool cloth, trying to ease the pain in any way I could. It was my fault she was experiencing this, after all. I lightly dabbed her forehead, the dull thud-thud-thud of her racing heart had almost faded into background noise. Almost, but not quite, so when the room became eerily quiet, I couldn't put my finger on why at first. Then it came to me and I hated myself even more.

She inhaled sharply right before, as if trying to brace herself. She continued to gasp after the beating stopped. It seemed impossible, but she was still there. She was still here with me. Now she was living off her own blood, her body turning into something harder than diamonds, transforming into a not quite living statue.

She still shook with pain. She still cried, but no tears came anymore. She would never shed another tear.

But oh how she would want to. It haunted me, that not too distant moment when the pain would _finally_ end and she would see what she had become, what I had done to her. I could not guess her reaction. It haunted me and frustrated me to no end. Why couldn't I see into her mind? Why couldn't I share her pain? I more than deserved to suffer as she did.

As the sun set on the third day, she became very still. She still breathed in and out, but it was no longer out of necessity. Her skin grew pale as death. Her body began to change – all the unneeded fat was burned up as her body tried to sustain itself through the transformation and she gained the unearthly beauty that accompanied this curse. Her bones shifted slightly to take the pressure of the never-ending endurance of superhuman abilities. She was still roughly the same shape and size, just…refined.

And if I had thought her lovely before, she was simply unbelievably beautiful to me now.

I wanted to soothe her somehow, needed to comfort her. She whimpered in her unconscious state. I knew she would have to wake soon and feel the last of the pain, and I wanted to do _something_. I felt so useless.

I hesitated briefly, then ran my fingers through her hair. She leaned into the touch. That startled me, and I pulled back, uncertain of what to do. But when she moaned again and tried to lean toward me, I stroked her head again and her body relaxed. She still quivered with pain, but it seemed…more bearable somehow when she felt my touch. It must be that she needed reassurance that someone – anyone – was there with her.

So I contented myself with stroking her dark chestnut hair. It was smooth and soft, as I always thought a lady's hair should be. I never really made it a habit of getting close enough to women to know how their hair felt. It was soothing to me, too, concentrating only on running my hand from the top of her scalp down to just above her waist where her hair ended. She was curled on her side, so I could run my fingers along the smooth planes of her back. She was still trembling, but silent.

Carlisle and Esme came in every few hours to check on her. They were probably checking on me, as well, but I was too focused on the girl in front of me to comprehend their thoughts. Esme stood behind me whenever she came in, resting a hand on my shoulder, as if trying to transfer her strength to me. Carlisle would often stand behind her, his arm around her waist. There was nothing they could do but wait.

And then, after what seemed like an eternity, as the sun rose after the third night, she stopped shaking beneath my touch. She took a deep breath.

And she opened her blood-red eyes.


	7. Waking Up

_AN – Surprise! So this week is my last week of my pre-student teaching thing, and to celebrate not getting up at the crack of dawn to drive a half hour to deal with hyper 7__th__ graders, I bring you a new chapter! Also, I have insane projects this weekend, and would love to break the monotony of working with emails of reviews. Plus I'm really excited for you to get the chapter after this one. __grin Meaning you will still get your regularly scheduled update on Monday. _

_A huge THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! You guys are awesome, and I really appreciate those of you who went into specifics. It helps me a lot to know what works and what doesn't. Please keep it up!_

_The Twilightverse still belongs to SM, and many many thanks to my beta, choosetodream, for her great work. _

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_Chapter 7_

She carefully sat up, looking around the room. I didn't breathe, waiting for her reaction. I had somehow forgotten that her eyes would be different now. They weren't the golden yellow of "vegetarians" like my family, like vampires who abstained from human blood. She was still filled with her own blood, and so her eyes reflected that. I wasn't sure exactly what to expect when she woke up, as far as the changes went. I knew she would change physically, but I didn't know how the venom worked, exactly. Was she as strong as I was now? Or would she gradually become stronger?

I was still at her bedside when she woke up, so it didn't her long to spot me. When she did, her eyes widened and her lips formed a perfect O in amazement.

"Oh Edward!" She breathed my name, then whispered "I thought I was dreaming! I thought I was dying…" She threw her arms around me and buried her head in my chest, sobbing tearlessly. "Did you have to save me again? What happened? When did you get back?" The questions spilled out of her like rain from the heavens. It was a relief to hear her clear voice, and I didn't know what to do, but my arms wrapped around her in reflex. She clearly didn't understand what was happening.

And then the bare skin of her arm touched my neck, and it was like a bolt of electricity shot through me. I could hear her thoughts! But it wasn't the same as with the others, it as if she were shouting them at me, wanting me to hear her. _Thank you, thank you!_ Over and over again. Why was she thanking me?

I looked over at Carlisle and Esme in amazement over the top of Bella's head, their faces were full of obvious relief, but they registered no surprise. I must have been the only one to hear her. Was it because I was the only one touching her? I stroked Bella's back absently, trying to sort out what was happening.

Could she have an ability like me? Like mine, only in reverse? Could she send thoughts?

"Bella?' I began hesitantly after her sobs had quieted a moment, "Bella, how do you feel?"

She started suddenly, as though she'd forgotten where she was and whose arms she was in. She pulled back, stammering apologies. "I'm sorry, I just, I forgot where I was." She moved to wipe away her tears, but paused in confusion when there was no moisture on her cheeks. She looked at her hand, puzzled. It was paler than it had been, and there was no pulse beating in her wrist. She put her hand to her heart, and when she did not feel its reassuring thump-thump, looked at me, fear in her eyes.

"What happened to me?"

I looked to Carlisle and he urged me to speak. "Bella, something's happened. Something big that can't be undone. You may want to sit back down." She was on her knees from when she had shot up to embrace me, and now settled back down, sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her knees protectively. She looked at me with such trust in her eyes that I had to take a deep breath. I hadn't breathed since she'd open her eyes, and I needed to clear my thoughts.

"There was some kind of incident. Carlisle found you injured and alone in an alleyway. He brought you back here to try to help you. There was nothing we could do, you were too far gone." I took another breath and tried to think of the best way to break this to her. "Bella, what do you know about vampires?"

She looked at me incredulously, "Vampires? Folklore, myth, they're not real are they? What does that have to do anything? Why am I not dead? But why don't I have a heartbeat?"

"I'm getting there. You see, Bella, vampires have everything to do with it. You wanted to know how I wasn't hurt that day of the car crash?" Her eyes widened and she looked as though the lightbulb had just been turned on.

"_You're_ a vampire?" She guessed in a whisper.

"Yes." I paused, "And now you are too." I braced myself for impact, waiting for her to scream in horror and run away.

She did neither. Shockingly, she just sat that, gazing at me in intense concentration. "But I've seen you in the day all the time. And at the church. Aren't vampires supposed to sleep during the day and be repulsed by crosses or something?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little. It eased a little of the tension in my muscles. "Myths. I can show you why the daylight myth began, but I don't know about crosses. They have no mystical power against us, at any rate."

"Us?" She looked confused for moment, then looked at Carlisle and Esme. "Are you vampires, too?"

"We are, sweetheart," Esme said in her soft voice.

"And now I am, too?"

Carlisle assured her that she was.

"Huh." She sat there, digesting this new information and all I could do was stare at her. Where was the running and screaming?

"You seem to be taking this very well." I prodded her anxiously.

"Well, it doesn't seem real. And even if it were, it would only be a step up."

"What do you mean?" I was tense again.

"You said I was found abandoned in an alleyway. I can't remember what happened, but it couldn't have been anything good." She pointed out, surprisingly calm. "I remember I was engaged, but unhappy. I remember Charlie urging me to move on with life, to marry and be happy." She looked straight into my eyes, "And I remember you. You always saved me, but then you were gone and couldn't save me anymore."

Now I was the one in shock. She was taking this ridiculously well. Something must be wrong with her brain. It had experienced too much trauma and was only delaying the inevitable repulsion of the situation.

"Will you tell me where you went?" She asked, looking down at her feet, as if she were embarrassed.

"I…I had to get away for awhile." I was the one who was embarrassed. I couldn't admit to her that she had chased me out of town! Even if I wasn't a danger to her anymore, I didn't want to burden her with the knowledge.

But she wasn't going to let it go at that. She looked back up at me with her piercing red eyes, "Aren't I one of you now? Don't I deserve to know?"

I cast a worried glance at the two I considered my parents, only to see that they had subtly left us alone. I knew Bella deserved to know, she deserved more than that, she deserved to live again.

"Do you really want to know?" I knew she would keep asking me and there was no way I'd be able to keep refusing her. She nodded and waited for me to continue.

"I left because it was not safe for me to be here," I began carefully, speaking slowly.

"Not safe? What could possibly cause you harm? I may not know anything about vampires, but I can feel the power in this body." She was observant, this one.

"It wasn't so much that someone could cause me harm as I could hurt someone else." I watched her carefully as I spoke, wondering if she would make the connection.

She did. "Someone else?" I could almost see the wheels turning, trying to think who I had any connections too, what had changed that I would need to leave. "You don't mean me, do you?"

I grinned wryly, "You're awfully perceptive for someone who's been through what you've been through tonight."

She grinned shyly back, "Only because I can't remember what I've been through, so there's less to cloud my mind. And you didn't answer the question."

The grin faded and I looked at her seriously, "Yes, it was you."

"But you never did anything close to hurting me. You saved me. Multiple times," she pointed out.

"There's another thing we haven't mentioned about vampires," I began by way of explanation. "There's at least one thing the legend have gotten right. We do drink blood to survive." I cringed slightly on the word "blood," and noticed she did, too.

"But you don't drink human blood do you?" She sounded more confident than hopeful.

"No, we don't. How -?"

"There haven't been any missing people." She interrupted, explaining how she reached her conclusion, "And you don't usually leave for unexplained lengths of time."

I raised an eyebrow, "You've done research on me, have you?"

She would have blushed if she could, I was sure of it as she looked sheepishly down at her feet for a moment. "One moment you were saving me and the next you were gone. I was curious. Which brings us back to the question of how are you dangerous for me?"

"I was getting there," I could afford to be flattered by her interest now that the immediate danger was gone. "We don't drink human blood, you're right. But that doesn't mean that we don't still crave it. We live off animals, but it's not as satisfying as human blood, for some reason. Usually it's not very hard to resist preying on humans. But sometimes," I looked at her, gauging her reaction, "sometimes, there is some blood that simply calls to us, it smells so good. It's like a siren call, impossible to resist."

She swallowed, "I smell like that?"

"Better than I could have ever imagined. More so for me than the others, more so than anyone has ever called to any of the three of us."

She mulled that over, picking at the sheets on the bed. "So you left. Why didn't you just do it?"

I was appalled. "Just do it? Are you crazy? I couldn't live with myself if I did that to you in cold blood. Even with the way things turned out," I trailed off, suddenly too overcome with grief for what I had done to speak.

She met my eyes and lightly rested one small hand on my arm, "What is it? How did things turn out?"

I couldn't bear to tell her, but I didn't have a choice. I stared back at her in silence for a long moment before finally speaking again. "Did you ever wonder how you became a vampire? Who it was that changed you? Who bit you?" My voice became very bitter on the last question.

She didn't answer, but I could see the question in her eyes. "I did it. I bit you. You were bleeding. You were beat and bruised and dying. I lost the fight against my instincts when I saw that you were dying anyway." I looked away from her burning eyes. "When my mind caught up with my body and I saw what I was doing, I had to stop. I couldn't drink anymore. But the damage was done, my venom had already begun to seep through your veins."

"It's really all real, isn't it?"

"More real than you can imagine."

We were both quiet for a very long while. I was holding my breath again, anticipating the screaming that never seemed to be coming. Her hand was still on mine and my skin tingled where it met hers. I didn't move.

When the silence was finally broken, it wasn't exactly _broken_. It was another thought I heard in my mind that I knew was not mine.

_I'm not mad at you, you know._

Was this girl never going to stop surprising me? "How aren't you mad at me? You should hate me!"

She looked at me startled, "How could you know I was thinking that? And I could never hate you," she added almost as an afterthought.

Letting the latter statement slide for now, I decided to let her know about yet another vampire trait that myths and legends had forgotten. "Some of our kind have more than just superhuman speed, strength, and power. Some of us have advanced mental capabilities." I explained, "For example, through your careful observations, have you ever noticed how I seem to know what people are thinking before they say anything?"

She thought for a moment, then nodded, watching me carefully. "That's because I can hear people's minds," I continued.

She looked horribly embarrassed for a moment, "You can read my mind?"

"You were a special case." I grinned at her, "For some reason, I couldn't read you as a human. It was like there was a mental wall, blocking me out. You can't imagine how frustrating that was"

She looked confused, "But you just knew what I was thinking a moment ago. How is that possible if I can block you out?"

"That wasn't the first time. When you first woke, you sent something then, too, and Carlisle and Esme got it too. I think you can send thoughts like I can receive them."

She processed that for a moment and drew her hand back. I didn't hear any more. I wondered if contact was necessary for her to send her messages. I mentioned that to her as well, and she looked lost in thought.

"When I was thinking that earlier, how I wasn't mad at you?" She started, "I wanted to tell you, but didn't want to say it, if that makes sense." She looked up at me to see if I understood.

"Then I think I know how we can go about honing this new power of yours."


	8. Getting Settled

_AN - Well, so the last chapter didn't get quite the reaction as the one before. How sad. _

_I'm sorry I didn't get this up at midnight like I wanted. My computer's battery cord died over the weekend and so I can't use my computer for the next couple days until my new cord arrives. I hate Dell's battery cords, they have to be replaced about every year. And they're pricey. Ew. So now I'm on campus, using a lab computer. I'm also a bit sick, so it's been a great weekend all around. _

_So make my day a little happier and please review!_

_Chapter 8_

She didn't seem to know how to react to my announcement, and just sat in silence, wrapped up in herself. I didn't know if I should leave her alone to think, or if she would rather I stay with her. She looked so lost in thought that I didn't want to disturb her, but I couldn't read what she was thinking. I was in the dark. I hated being in the dark when people were concerned.

I finally broke the silence. "What are you thinking?" I blurted out.

She smiled a too-innocent smile. "Does it bother you, not knowing?"

She knew me too well too soon. Or maybe my impatience was giving me away. I didn't bother beating around the bush, "Yes. Please tell me."

"I was just thinking about the possibilities of being able to communicate telepathically, or however this works," She finally replied. "How do you use your superpowers?"

"I don't know if 'superpowers' is the right term. I'm not some dime store magazine superhero," I scoffed.

"No, I didn't mean it like that," she said, thinking I was offended somehow. "I just meant…well I couldn't think of a better term."

"No, you're right," I conceded. "I just meant I don't exactly use my abilities to save the world. I used to use them to…well, to hunt." I watched her as I spoke, "Now I use them for protection. To see if anyone suspects something's not quite right, or to get information."

"What do you mean, to hunt?" She inquired, more curiosity shining in her eyes than rightful fear.

She was more curious than was safe. I didn't want to scare her more than necessary, but she needed to know what kind of world she had fallen into. "I didn't always live off animal blood," I admitted. "For a while, I wanted to experience life as a real vampire, holding nothing back. I guess you could call it my rebellious phase. I left Carlisle and Esme to live on my own and hunt on my own. Even still, I couldn't kill innocent people, but I could hunt down the worst type of people, barely even human. Surely I was doing the world a favor, ridding it of those scum. I could live without constantly straining myself, without the constant struggle. And I could tell exactly who was who, who I felt deserved it.

"But that wasn't good enough. Having lived both the vegetarian lifestyle and the natural vampire lifestyle, I had developed a conscious. When you kill a man, you kill a part of your own humanity." I looked at her sideways, waiting for her reaction. "I didn't want to lose my humanity. So I came back to my adopted parents and began this life again."

She was very quiet again. "Did I scare you?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No." She said simply, "It makes sense."

"It makes sense?" I echoed. "How does that make any sense?"

"Well, it seems only natural to wonder what you're missing when your nature craves it," she answered and shrugged. "It just makes sense."

Was she ever going to stop surprising me? She continued, "But I'm glad you told me that story. It answers a lot of my questions." At my prodding glance, she elaborated, "Well I wondered why you bother to abstain at all. I mean, it goes against your nature, doesn't it?"

"I didn't choose this life. I don't regret that I was changed, but that doesn't mean I like the way I am now."

I could see she was going to fall into silence again, so I suggested, "Why don't you go clean up? There's a bathroom through that door," I pointed, "And I'm sure a warm bath would feel good. Maybe it will clear your memory and we can find out what happened."

She nodded and I pointed out some clean clothes in a dresser that Esme had thoughtfully provided. She must have gotten them while I was preoccupied with Bella's transformation.

I watched her rise from the bed and walk to the adjoining bathroom. She moved more gracefully now, somehow. I part of me regretfully noted that I probably wouldn't be catching her from falling anytime soon. She looked at me as she closed the door, and locked eyes with me for just a moment. It was almost like she was trying to tell me something that I couldn't quite hear. But all too quickly, she broke the contact and the door shut with a soft click.

"How is she?" Esme asked as I came down the stairs.

"Very well, all things considered." I replied. I filled them in on the conversation I'd just had upstairs. They seemed a little surprised that I had revealed so much to her, but I ignored their reaction. I didn't want to give them fuel for impossible hopes that I knew they were harboring. They were both hoping I had found someone to share this life with, like they had found each other, so that I wouldn't be so lonely. The guilt ate at me too intensely for that to ever be possible.

Lest I give in to an intense session of self-pity, I went to my own room and concentrated on this new power of Bella's. It seemed to be intensified by touch, and perhaps that was the only possible way of transmission for now. Maybe it would mature to the point where physical contact wasn't necessary.

The possibilities of this development were intriguing. Could she send a message or thought that the receiver thinks is his own? Could she send memories or images, or just words? Did she need physical contact through her hands, or would any skin work?

I was staring at my wall when I heard the door of the room next to mine swing open – Bella's room. I got up and looked into the hallway to see her standing there not sure what to do with herself. Her hair was still damp and slightly curled at the end, but she was wearing a clean dress that fit her well. It didn't escape my notice how beautiful she was. I don't think it ever will again.

"Would you like a tour?" I offered, finally remembering that she had no idea where she was. She nodded gratefully.

I led her down the stairs and through the house, room by room. With a seemingly unlimited money supply, we weren't exactly wanting for rooms. We began in the living room, where she'd been brought in and wandered leisurely. She asked questions about some of the portraits hanging in the hallway – they were from Carlisle's stint as a model in Italy.

"He modeled in Italy?" Bella admired the paintings.

"Yes, he was something of an inspiration for many artists there," I smirked, "Of course, he could only model indoors or at night, what with how sunny Italy is."

"Are you going to explain that to me?" Bella asked, slightly annoyed.

"I can show you the next time the sun's out." I said, grinning. She'd be in for a bit of a surprise.

She shot me an exasperated look, but moved on down the hallway.

When we got to the kitchen, she raised an eyebrow. "Why do you need a kitchen? You don't keep anything here do you?"

I laughed, "No, of course not. It's just that a house looks rather odd if it doesn't have a kitchen, doesn't it?"

"Makes sense," she smiled back.

When we had made the rounds through the ground floor, we headed back upstairs, and I pointed out Carlisle's study, his and Esme's room, the several extra rooms, and the billiards room before we made it back to our own rooms.

Once there, I paused a moment and said, "This is my room, if you hadn't guessed." She smiled and I could only assume that meant she had. I was suddenly very nervous. Uncertainly, I asked, "Would you like to see it?"

Her smile widened and nodded, "If that's alright."

I opened the door and surveyed my room with her. I hadn't really paid attention to my surroundings lately. I had always been neat, for which I was now very grateful, so there wasn't anything embarrassing lying around. I didn't need a bed, but I did have a large couch in its place, a nice plush gold thing that was impossible to be uncomfortable on. A vital trait of any couch, really.

Other than that, my room seemed suddenly very sparse. I'd begun collecting a few records, and they were stacked against a wall, and a few books I had been reading before I left were on the coffee table by the couch, but there wasn't much else to see. I was suddenly rather disappointed in my own tastes. How boring I must seem to her!

I watched nervously as she took in the room, scanning over everything with her bright eyes, still the color of fresh blood. I suppressed a wave of guilt as I remembered how warm her brown eyes had been, only to be forced to accept that they would never be that way again. Perhaps when she had adjusted to our vegetarian way of life, her honey-colored eyes would be more inviting. These eyes were still reflecting my own failings back at me.

She ran a hand over the back of the plush couch, a small smile on her lips. "No bed?" She questioned.

"No need. Can't sleep." I answered succinctly.

"Really?" She was surprised. "What do you do, then?" I noticed that she was more curious about what I did rather than why I had to find something to do. She must be getting information overload.

I grinned, a sudden feeling of cockiness spread over me, now that I was completely in my domain. "Watch other people sleep," I threw out offhandedly, as if it were an ordinary thing.

"Other people…?" She trailed off, and then asked in a scolding tone, "You never watched me, did you?"

"Maybe." I flashed a grin at her. I liked leading her around. It was a nice change of pace from me not knowing what was going on in her brain.

"You wouldn't dare."

I cocked an eyebrow at her, "Wouldn't I?"

She huffed, clearly realizing that I, in fact, would. She switched tracks, "Fine, you would dare. But why bother with me? I mean, one sleeping human can't be all that different from another can they?"

"Au contraire," I said, still grinning. "You were actually quite entertaining."

She paled, if that were possible. "What did I do?" She asked, worried.

"You talk in your sleep."

"Oh no." She buried her face in her hands. "What did I say?"

I tsk-ed at her, "That's for me to know and you to find out." She groaned. "Besides, aren't you the least bit curious about how to work your ability?"

She brightened considerably, as if she'd completely forgotten about it. "You really think you know how it works?"

"I have a fair idea. Sit down and we'll try something." She sat on the couch, and I made myself comfortable next to her.

"Now I want you to concentrate on a single thought, a simple phrase." She closed her eyes and furrowed her brow. "Got it?"

She nodded slightly.

"Ok, now picture sending it towards me." I didn't hear anything, so I continued, "Try to push it out of your brain." Still nothing. "Okay, now take my hand and try again.

The instant her fingers grazed my palm, I felt that bolt of electricity, accompanied by '_My name is Bella_,' as if it were being shouted at me, amplified a million times.

I jerked back, and her eyes flew open. "Did it work?" she asked anxiously.

I laughed nervously, "A little too well. It felt like you were shouting at me." She sighed. "Don't worry, this is a trial and error process. Now we know that you need touch to communicate."

"Okay. So now what?"

"We try again. This time, you don't need to try so hard. Just…direct it toward me." She drew her fingers to my palm again, and I felt the shock that was quickly becoming familiar, accompanied by Bella's greeting. It was like she was whispering it my ear this time, and the thought of her whispers tickled my ear. I gently pulled away this time and smiled at her, "Good. That was much better."

She smiled, too, proud of her small accomplishments.

"Now I want to gauge your control. Each time you've touched me, I've heard something instantly. You don't want all your thoughts spilling out." She nodded in comprehension at how dangerous – and potentially embarrassing - that prospect could be.

I held my hand out to her and she lightly touched it one more time. I could feel her essence as soon as we made contact, but no particular thought. That was good. At least she had some natural control. But the longer we touched and the more skin contact there was, the more I could feel of_her_ seeping into me. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation. Actually, it felt quite nice. But that wasn't the point of this exercise.

"Concentrate, Bella," I breathed.

But I think my well-intended comment went awry. Our hands were pressed palm to palm by this point, and when I spoke, she lost all the control she'd been concentrating so hard on.

Instead of words, I felt her emotions gush over and into me. I was suddenly drowning in her uncertainty, curiosity, fear, and, most surprisingly, affection.

Once more I wrenched my hand back, and looked carefully into her eyes. She stared back, suddenly scared.

"I felt it that time," she breathed, "I felt it go out of me. You distracted me when you said my name," she added(, muttering) in a low voice. Rain started lightly falling outside, making a light pitter-patter noise against the windows. It was always raining this time of year, it made the earth smell so good. Of course, now it would even compare to what I knew scent had the potential to do to me, but it was still refreshing.

Wee sat listening to the light rain for a few moments. When Bella gained her bearings and was no longer breathing as if she'd just run a marathon, she held her hand out to me and asked lightly, "One more try?"

I hesitated. I didn't want to wear her out.

"Come on, I'm not that tired." She insisted, "I just want to try one more time." She pleaded with me, and I gave in. Why did I find it so hard to refuse her?

I raised my hand to meet her once more, and our fingertips met in a feather-light touch. I could still feel her presence through our touch, but it lessened slightly as the minutes crept by and she reigned in more control. She was staring at our hands, completely wrapped up in concentration. The minutes continued to creep by until I couldn't feel anything new from her. The memory of her was still in my mind and hand, but she had stopped sending new information. She seemed to realize this the same time I did, because she looked up at me to smile proudly.

But at that moment, lightening stuck close by, thunder following a split second later with a deafening roar, and she cried out, clutching my hand in startled fear.

That's when everything started to fall apart.


	9. Bella's Story

_AN – I am pretty sick right now and uploaded the wrong chapter. So here's what I THOUGHT was chapter 8, but is in fact, chapter 9. This is the one I was all excited for. So, um, enjoy. I'll get this sorted out eventually. _

_---_

_Chapter 9_

I was suddenly surrounded by darkness. I was no longer in my room, seated comfortably on my couch with Bella at my side.

I was on the streets of deep downtown, walking along in the dark, alone. I didn't even know where I was, let alone where I was going.

I tried to look around in my confusion, but I couldn't command my body. Everything seemed to be going on autopilot. Wait, my body? My body wasn't normally this warm, or – I looked down through my peripheral vision to confirm – wearing a long skirt.

Thoroughly confused now, I tried to make sense of what on earth was going on. It was like I was in someone else's body, simply observing. A young woman's body, but I couldn't tell whose until I passed a storefront and saw my reflection out of the corner of my eye.

But it wasn't my reflection – it was _Bella's_.

What was I doing in Bella's body and walking around-

Oh. It hit me with such clarity that I wanted to slap my forehead in disgust. I was living in Bella's memory. She must have forced this into my brain when the lightening struck, and my brain thinks it's happening now. How odd. I wondered how long this memory would last. And what forced this particular memory on me.

I would just have to sit back and enjoy the ride, I suppose.

I felt an odd sense of unease that was not my own. It must be Bella's. I was feeling everything she had felt. In essence, I _was_ Bella at this moment. It felt like I was a completely different person. Even her thoughts flitted through my mind, as if they were my own.

It was a little unsettling.

Bella, or I, it was a little hard to distinguish between the two of us now, kept looking over my shoulder, as if waiting for someone to walk out of the shadows. It was very late, and I know I should have called Charlie to come get me, or let Angela's family give me a ride home, but I didn't want to trouble anyone. It wasn't very far anyway.

But that didn't mean I wasn't nervous. I mean, I was a girl walking the streets at night. A single girl, too clumsy and accident-prone for her own good, who would be almost completely defenseless if attacked. That was not a reassuring train of thought, I needed to stop.

I rounded another corner, surreptitiously checking the shadows. It was a cool night, with a light breeze. It was very quiet. I reassured myself with the thought that I would hear anyone before they got too close, and I could hide in the very shadows I was checking now. My ears were hyper-alert.

I was closing in on the most anxiously anticipated part of my journey home – the local bar. If I could make it past there, I should be home in no time. I held my breath as I walked past. It wasn't so late that it was closing up, so most of its patrons should be staying inside. No one left before closing time. At least, none of the regulars.

The lights were deceptively bright, shining from the windows onto the street. I skirted the light, nervously, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to my self.

I passed the last window and let out the breath I'd been holding. Safe. I relaxed a little; my house was only about a half a mile away. If luck would stay with me, I would be home in 15 minutes.

Luck must have sprinted away at that thought.

I heard a soft chuckle behind me, and I twirled around to face it. I relaxed the muscles that had tensed on instinct – it was my fiancé. I was just oversensitive.

He took a step toward me, the light from the bar reflecting oddly against his smiling teeth. I had no reason to be afraid, but something in his eyes made me tense up again, nervous.

"Hello, sweetheart," he purred. As he drew nearer, two of his friends melted out of the shadows, flanking either side. I took an unconscious step backward.

"James," I greeted him, my voice a little higher than usual. "What are you doing out here?"

"I might ask you the same question," his words slurred just slightly. Oh no, he was drunk. I began to tremble just a little. I'd heard vicious rumors. Women had gossiped about how men changed completely with alcohol in their systems. And James was no exception. He continued, "But as fortune would have it, I'd been wanting to show you off to these fine gentlemen right here anyway." He gestured to the two men behind him and laughed. "Look at her, boys. Isn't she a fine little thing?"

"She sure is," one of them spoke too loudly. "You caught yourself a regular little kitten there," he laughed loudly, and the other men joined in. I tightened my shawl around my shoulders. It suddenly felt very cold, and I felt very exposed.

"Aw, but she's all covered up!" the others protested, pointing at the shawl I had wrapped around my body.

"Come on, sweetheart, don't be shy," James grabbed one arm too roughly. "Let the nice men see how pretty you are."

He wrenched the shawl out of my hands and spun me out of it. My head spun, too, and I dizzily tried to make sense of what he was doing. Why was he being so rude?

"You still can't see her," one of the men complained. "Can't appreciate a work of art like that when it's all covered up!"

"Better take it all off!"

Oh, please no. This couldn't be happening. I looked frantically at James, some corner of my mind still praying that he'd come to his senses.

In vain. With a cruel grin on his lips, he reached for the buttons on my blouse. My heart raced. This wasn't happening to me! I looked at him and pleaded with him to stop. "James, please, stop, you're scaring me," I cried too quietly.

"Aw, you're scaring her," his friend whooped in excitement. "Better hurry up and have our fun then."

"The sooner the better," the other called in agreement. James' fingers tightened around my top button and with one swift motion, ripped the front of my shirt open, exposing my bodice and slip. I writhed around in shame, trying to cover myself and free myself from his grip. No good. I was so much weaker than he was. One of his hands easily held my two wrists captive, while the other stroked my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps from below my ear down to just above my bodice. I felt sick, slimy, and gross. I wanted to throw up at his touch. I couldn't believe I had once looked forward to marrying this…beast.

The others only egged him on, hollering for him to take control of "his woman." They kept shouting. Why didn't anyone hear them? Why didn't anyone come out to stop this?

"Please, James, please let me go," tears were streaming down my face, I was so scared. This only seemed to make him angry.

"Why should I let go of what is mine?" he said gruffly, eyes raking over my still exposed and shaking body. "And you are mine."

"Please…" I begged, now knowing how useless my pleas were.

He threw me roughly to the ground, only to grab hold of me by my hair. "I let go, sweetheart," he mocked. The term of endearment sounded like the foulest curse spewed from his mouth.

I could only cry silently. I couldn't make my mouth obey me to scream for help. I scrambled to get a hold of anything, to fight back, to pull myself up, to distract him. I didn't know. I just knew I couldn't give up. I was no match for him, strength or power-wise. And I could probably never outrun him. But I had to do something.

But I only served to make him angrier. He slapped me hard, my cheek stinging in the cold night air and my vision blurred momentarily. I was so cold. The pavement beneath me was freezing, the wind was picking up, cutting against my exposed skin and through my thin slip, whipping my hair against my tender face. He slapped me again when I began to shake harder from the chill. Now both cheeks stung.

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me roughly, shouting at me, asking why I was so stupid, why I wasn't giving him what he wanted, why, why, why?

I couldn't make sense of it anymore. I couldn't separate one word from another. All I could feel was the horrible ache in my arms and shoulders. My wrists felt raw from when he'd held me captive. The salt from my tears made my raw face sting, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling.

He continued to beat me, the other men joining in when they could. They threw me like a rag doll one to another, their filthy hands ravishing my body, throwing me to the ground, only to pick me up again for another round. I had no more energy to fight back. I was going to die here, only a few minutes from my home, my safe haven. Killed by the man I had been planning to pledge my life to.

I wanted to laugh at it all. Laugh and cry at the irony. I had chosen him because he would guarantee me a safe life. I had shoved all thoughts of love and romance out of my mind, thinking I was doing the right thing to choose this secure life. I thought this was what I supposed to do. I was supposed to have a happy ending. I was doing what my mother wanted for me, what we both thought was for the best. We'd been so unbelievably wrong. I had chosen wrong, as I always seemed to.

I was a fool. He was the worst thing possible, the worst thing that had ever happened to me.

And he kept beating me. I could feel the bruises forming. Bruises upon bruises. My scalp screamed as he yanked me around by my hair. Somewhere in the distance, I heard my clothes rip some more. I felt the night wind rip against my bare midriff, and now, my legs as well. My vision blurred and I stopped registering the pain as I faded into blessed unconsciousness. If he was going to kill me, I'd much rather not feel the horrible pain of it longer that necessary.

With a horrible jolt, I regained consciousness. I, as in me, Edward. The gruesome scene faded away. I was back in my room. Bella was sobbing without tears, face buried in her hands. I looked at her in horror.

Was that what she had endured? Was that what had happened to her before Carlisle had found her? If he hadn't found her…I shuddered…she would have died without a doubt. She had been so covered with bruises when he brought her in, broken and bleeding, body and soul.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I gathered this small girl into my arms and hugged her tightly, never wanting to let go.

She squeaked in surprise, like a wounded cat, but quickly buried herself in my embrace. I tried to soothe her, rubbing small circles on her back, and then stroking her hair. I was careful not to make contact with her bare skin for fear it would set off another memory. Even still, I accidentally brushed her a couple of times, distracted, but I got nothing from her. She must be exhausted, being forced to live through that again. I didn't know if she had seen it, lived it, with as much clarity as I had right then, but she the memory was clearly no long being repressed. What monster could do that to such a beautiful girl?

I whispered fiercely into her ear, "They will never hurt you again. _No one_ will ever hurt you again." I swore to her. "I will never let anything happen to you again."

I was furious. Those men would _pay._ They would pay dearly indeed.


	10. Missing Person

_AN – Hello again! And wow reviews! You guys were awesome. There were a couple of questions that I wanted to answer. Some one asked why I have James instead of some random guy or Rosalie's King. Well, I wanted to make this Bella's story as much as possible, and James was the hunter before, so…there you go. A few of you have asked for Bella's POV, and I'm sad to say I don't have any written, and wasn't really planning on it. I'm not so great writing Bella unless it's Angst!Bella. So don't hold your breath._

_Also, just to be clear, I uploaded two chapters last time. I think some people missed that. Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed both chapters. I have a feeling you would have lynched me had I left off with Chapter 8._

_On to the chapter!_

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_Chapter 10_

The sun was rising before Bella had calmed down. I think she had wanted to cry herself to sleep. But the problem was, she could no longer sleep.

Or cry.

So I held her until she stopped shaking. When she finally did, she mumbled into my chest, "I'll leave as soon as I can."

"What? Why?" I asked, alarmed. She couldn't leave _now_. This was the safest place for her. And I wanted her here, as much as I hated to admit it to myself.

"I don't deserve to be here, to be looked after by you," she said miserably.

Immediately, I tucked one hand under her chin and forced her to look me in the eyes, feeling the pain of her despair flow into me at the contact. "You are more than welcome to stay here for as long as you want. And I will always be here to look after you." I didn't deny her claim that she didn't deserve me – it was clear she deserved so much better.

Her bright red eyes would have welled up had she still been able to produce tears. I withdrew my hand to give her emotions some privacy until she got them under control, but I held her gaze with mine.

"I mean it, Bella."

"Why?" she whispered. "How can you be so kind to me? I'm a ruined woman. I…you saw what happened to me."

"What happened was indeed horrible. But I could never even fathom the idea of treating you that way, or any other way than with the kindness you deserve."

She didn't believe me. I could see it in her eyes. I wished I could send my emotions to her, show her my sincerity. "Please Bella, listen to me. You are beautiful, inside and out. What happened to you does not affect your value to me, or to anyone else living here, for that matter." I watched her, gauging her reaction. She didn't accept it, but she didn't completely reject it either. This was going to take some time, I could tell.

Lucky me, I have all the time in the world.

"I'll stay then, if that's alright," she said finally, in a small voice, breaking away from my gaze, but not from my arms. I tightened them around her again.

"It's more than alright."

We stayed that way for a long time. I wished desperately to know what she was thinking, but couldn't bring myself to break the silence and ask.

But we had to get up at some point. Carlisle came in and found us like that, sitting on the couch with my arms around a clearly grieving girl. He must have heard us talking, or else he was clever enough to figure out that her memory had resurfaced.

"Edward," he addressed me aloud for Bella's benefit, "I need to speak with you. Bella, you too, if you think you can handle it."

To my surprise, she straightened and put on a brave face. She was done crying, done mourning for the past, at least for now. "I can handle it," she said, tonelessly.

Carlisle was surprised, too, at her strength. "If you'd both come downstairs, then."

We followed him down to the living room, Bella never more than a foot away from me. I didn't object to having her so close to me now that her scent was no longer tantalizing me to devour her, but it was odd. I was beginning to want her in a whole different way…

Now was _not_ the time.

We sat, and Carlisle began. "The town is bursting at the seams with rumors. Bella's been discovered missing. No one knows what happened to her."

"No one would suspect the real perpetrators," I said darkly. Bella said nothing.

"But this presents a problem. Charlie is going crazy with worry and is doing everything he can to find her. And seeing as he is the police chief, there's a lot he can do."

"Oh, _Charlie_," Bella gasped, starting at the name. "I hadn't even thought…oh no." She collapsed in on herself, and I instinctively drew her to me, throwing a dirty look at Carlisle. Why did he have to bring that up?

But Bella didn't start shaking again. She simply went very still this time. "Bella?" I asked, worried, "Bella, are you alright?"

It was a stupid question, but what else could I ask? She seemed to think so too, and laughed humorlessly. "No, I'm not alright. Poor Charlie, I was all he had." Her eyes had a faraway look in them. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No, it's much too dangerous for you to be around humans right now," Carlisle said, gently. "I think the best course of action is for you to be assumed dead."

She looked so forlorn, as if finally seeing the weight of what had happened to her. She lost her father, her fiancé, her life – everything. And what did she get? Me. What a horrible trade.

We needed to stage her death. There weren't any convenient rivers nearby for her to drown in, nor steep cliffs to fall from. And she had been seen leaving her friend's home late last night. Somehow she needed to die on the way home.

The obvious answer was to "find" her in an alley, and play out the scene as close to the truth as possible. But that was no good. Chief Swan would certainly search for her killer until he found him and punished him. And we couldn't have that.

That was for me to do.

So what to do? There were some woods along the outskirts of town, but did Bella have any reason to be there? She shook her head. "No, it wouldn't make sense for me to do anything but go straight home. Something needs to happen on the way."

We thought in silence. "What if," Bella began slowly, sitting back up. I reluctantly withdrew my hold on her. "Is there some part of town along the path they haven't searched yet?"

Carlisle answered, "You've been missing for almost four days. They've searched your route pretty thoroughly, but there might be some places on a backroad they haven't looked yet." He looked at her curiously, did she have a plan?

She chewed thoughtfully on her thumbnail. "Is there some place we could stage some sort of accident? I mean, I'm not exactly the most graceful person around, it would be easy to believe I fell or something."

Carlisle exchanged a glance with me, "There's a construction site not too far from your usual path, but they've been working on it. I can check it out and see if there's not someplace inconspicuous where you could have fallen or been hit with something."

He left quickly, time was rapidly running short before all of our opportunities disappeared. Four days was a long time for a person to be missing without a trace. Carlisle returned sooner than I had expected, but not at all too soon. Bella and I were waiting anxiously and silently on the sofa. It must be thoroughly depressing to plan one's own death, so I hadn't pushed her for conversation.

"The construction site's no good. It's completely gated off. There's no good reason for her to have been there." We both visibly deflated. "It'll have to be the woods, then."

"Oh!" Bella suddenly exclaimed. "I think I have an idea. There's a grove not far from Angela's that leads into thicker woods. It's the opposite direction, so it probably hasn't been searched. I would have wandered in there if something had caught my attention."

"What would catch your attention?"

She looked embarrassed all of a sudden, then shyly said, "If I thought I saw you."

Carlisle picked up on her train of thought, "Yes, that should work…Edward could have been coming back for the wedding, and you saw him and followed him as he headed toward the woods for a walk. Edward has been gone, so it makes perfect sense, and you can be a witness."

"And once I'd reached the grove and gotten too far in, I was completely lost. Some animal found me and ate me."

"We can leave your clothes as evidence. They won't expect to find your body. If we can plant those clothes in the right spot, and have Edward, you tip them off."

Their conversation flowed like they were planning what to have for dinner. How could she think about this so…businesslike? This was her death we were talking about. Shouldn't she be, I don't know, too delicate and feminine to even think about such things?

I mentally shook my head. No, that was not Bella. She wasn't one of those delicate flowers, she was like a venus fly trap. She would fight back. Even in her memory, she fought when she knew she had no chance. She fought until she literally could not move.

"What do you think, Edward," Bella's sweet voice brought me back to attention. "Do you think it will work? Can you lead them to the right path?"

I thought. "I think it will work," I answered finally. She smiled a somewhat grim smile. "I can say I was catching up on business, which is why no one has seen me, and I can mention that I might have seen you that night. They'll be desperate enough for leads that they'll comb the grove and the woods."

She squeezed my arm, "Thank you. If nothing else, I want Charlie to have closure."

She was so good. "I'll do what I can."

"We had better get started," Carlisle urged, "The sooner we clean this up, the better."

"By the way," Bella asked, as we all stood. "Where is Esme? I haven't seen her since I woke up, and I wanted to thank her for the things she prepared for me."

"She's in town, helping with the search party," Carlisle replied, "She's always helping with something. She's very good at finding lost children. It's only natural that she would be looking for you."

"Oh," Bella looked touched at this act of concern. She would need to get used to the idea of others looking out for her, I could tell. I could only assume she took care of her father more than he did of her. She seemed the type to take over the household while the Chief was at work. And he was a notoriously bad cook.

"Alright, Edward, let's go." Carlisle had already retrieved Bella's clothes to plant in the woods.

I looked at Bella with what I hoped was a reassuring expression. "I'll be back before you can miss me," I said, hoping she would be alright on her own. I'd have to send Esme back when I saw her. I really didn't want to leave her all alone.

"I'll be fine," She tried to flash a reassuring smile, but it didn't quite reach those expressive eyes of hers. It would be a long time before she was truly fine.

Carlisle and I rushed to town in his car, seeking out the search party to share our latest "revelation."

We found them convened at the police station. It always made me a little nervous there. My record wasn't exactly as white as the freshly fallen snow.

But no one was paying attention to me, at least not yet. Carlisle weeded out Chief Swan and brought him to me, telling him I'd realized something that might be of help.

I put on a nervous face, matching the anxious looks of so many around me. "Chief Swan," I began as he approached, "I think I may have a lead to your daughter's whereabouts. When I was coming into town late that night, I think I saw her leave her friend's home. If she saw me, too, she might have tried to follow me. I passed by too quickly to notice. But it might be worth a try."

"Why didn't you come forward with this information earlier?" He demanded, looking angry and as if he hadn't slept for these past four days.

"I wasn't aware she was missing. I was shut up in my office, attending to some business matters." I stammered, feigning fright. The guilt in my voice I didn't have to fake, though. "If I'd had any idea…" I trailed off. He had the information and proceeded to pump me for more of it. He didn't care about my excuses now. He just wanted to find his daughter.

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_Please review! Let's see if we can hit 100!_


	11. Search Party

_AN – We made it to 100! You guys are amazing! And so, here is your next chapter. I know it's pretty short, and I'm sorry for that. Somehow, the original was under 1,000 words, which is less than half my normal chapter. I remember getting stuck here and skipping ahead to write something more fun, and never really coming back to finish this up. But that was just not acceptable for this version. So I added a lot. I'm going to take a picture of my edited papers so you can see all the pink ink and put it on my profile sometime. Because dang. I hope you appreciate this, it was easily the most editing I've done to a chapter. It has also been a stressful night, hence the updating at 1 AM. My beta's stressed, too, so all I have is one more chapter and then I'm out until she gets back to me. So Monday will be up as scheduled, and it'll be touch and go from there. _

_Also, I've discovered the whole review response thing. So I'm going to try to start responding to each of your reviews, because you are all that awesome. So ask me questions and I'll do my best to answer without giving anything away. Or just review to say hey. I'm happy with either. _

_--- _

_Chapter 11_

We began the search back at the house Bella was last seen at – her friend Angela's. Angela herself was there, standing on the front porch with Charlie, almost beside herself with worry. A man I assumed was her beau walked out the front door to wrap one arm protectively around her, as if she too would disappear without a moment's notice.

"I had thought I had seen something in the woods on my way into town," I explained to Chief Swan. "I was worried it might have been a bear or something. And, naturally, I wanted to go get it, before it could cause any trouble." I had my story down, now I just had to get everyone to believe it. "I'd had my shotgun in my car, as I had done some hunting while I was away. I didn't want to let this chance get away."

"But why would Bella follow you?" Chief Swan asked gruffly. He eyed me suspiciously. The question he wanted to ask was at the front of his mind – _'Did you lure her to follow you?'_

"She probably didn't realize what I was up to. It was dark enough that she might not have seen the gun, and I hadn't seen her since before I left. She probably just wanted to say hello, to see if I was alright." I was sounding too sure, too confident, according the the chief's thoughts. I began to babble, I couldn't have him suspect me. "Or maybe she wanted an escort for the way home. I'm not sure. This is all purely speculation," I reminded him.

"How far out into the woods did you go? Show us," the Chief commanded, still unwilling to trust me.

I pointed them in the general direction that I knew Carlisle had planned to plant part of Bella's old dress. There was no body to plant, but a bloody dress would dispel any hope of finding one, and would satisfy – however grimly – any suspicions of what had happened to her. It wasn't far from the house – just far enough to have been missed with a casual search and to not rule out wild animals, but close enough to believe Bella wandered that far.

"I came this way, but I didn't stay long. It was getting too dark, and I didn't want to risk hitting anyone." I said. "I went home before too long, Carlisle can vouch for me. I cut through an old path I know well, but Bella might have gotten lost. She doesn't know the woods like I do."

"Form a search party," Chief Swan called out to the men gathered in Angela's front yard. "Comb the area! Fire your pistols into the air if you find anything!" He quickly divided them into groups of four and five and assigned each group a different direction to begin scouring the area. Chief Swan stayed at the house, which had become a sort of unofficial headquarters and I made certain I was in James' group as we dispersed.

Yes, James was there, the filthy scumbag. It was only natural. After all, it _was_ his fiancée that was missing. He should be grieving over his loss.

Even though it was all his own fault.

I squashed that thought. I couldn't afford to get angry now. That would come in handy later, after this was cleaned up.

I fell into step beside him as two other men trailed behind us and we headed North. I watched him from the corner of my eye as he trudged through the high grass and weeds that proceeded the forest. He didn't say anything to me, but his thoughts were revealing what a waste of time he thought this was. He was mourning more for the loss of time than the loss of his would-be wife.

"I'm sorry for your loss," I offered suddenly, intruding on his inner monologue of what he'd rather be doing.

His eyes flashed toward me, instantly on his guard, though he had no real reason to fear or suspect me – as far as he know, anyway. But he kept walking. "She may still be found," he replied, opting to play the role of the hopeful fool. In his mind he continued - '_six feet under.' _

I had wondered what he thought really happened to the body. Now he replayed the message in his mind: he had sent on of his henchmen to clean up and apparently, said underling failed to report anything suspicious. James wasn't really one to take bad news well. So now he thought the body was safely disposed of, buried and gone.

My fists clenched, dearly wanting to strike him down. But now was neither the time nor place. Instead, I replied with a tight jaw, "Of course. There's still a chance of finding her."

Neither of us spoke again after that, though the other two gentlemen conversed about the possibility of encountering the murderous wild animal. They joked nervously about how that would kill it should they find it. Both were silently praying for an uneventful search.

James no longer bothered to be suspicious of me – I was essentially offering him a clean get-away. Who was he to argue? He just had to leave everything to fate now.

And, of course, as fate would have it, he would have to be the one to find her – or the remains of the dress. But sometimes fate needed a helping hand; I had to carefully direct him oh so subtly, and oh so discreetly. He could not suspect me of anything. I would alter my path so he would have to move this far to the left, turn right at that tree, look under a fallen trunk in my path. He followed perfectly, mimicking my gestures so he would look the part of a man in mourning for his lost love, albeit a half-hearted show of devotion. To others he might have looked depressed, unable to summon the energy needed for a more thorough search. To me, he was bored, knowing this was a treasure hunt with not chest of gold to be found. No one suspected either of us of anything. If anyone was to find a clue to her whereabouts, he had to be the one.

He lifted another rotted tree trunk, and finding nothing underneath, dropped it, shaking the ground and a nearby tree. Branches cracked and a flash of blue fabric caught his eye. His face was honestly surprised for a moment – he didn't expect to actually find anything. After all, he knew she was left for dead in an alleyway miles away from here, and probably buried even farther away.

He recomposed himself before anyone but me noticed, and he shouted, "I found something!" He got out his pistol and shot into the sky, signaling the other members of the search party to gather around him. Chief Swan came barreling through the underbrush, eyes alight with desperate hope, and looked where James indicated with a shaking hand.

Fabric from what was once undeniably Bella's skirt was caught on a low hanging branch. '_The dress had been one of her favorites_,' Chief Swan thought as he gingerly picked it up, turning it over in his hands. Memories of her smiling up at him in that dress filled his mind as he looked around desperately, hoping to find her unconscious, but alive. He was still clinging on to hope. It almost broke my heart to see how lost he looked, and to see Bella so alive in his memories. He really loved her.

Unlike that pig fiancé. He looked a little shaken up, but more like he'd lost a bet and less like he had lost a lover. His mind was at a loss, sputtering for some kind of explanation. But not for too long – he wouldn't trouble himself over this any longer than necessary and wrote it off as coincidence. There _were_ wild bears that sometimes caught a child, perhaps the fabric was left over from some previous tragedy.

Chief Swan on the other hand, truly mourned, walking a short distance before falling to his knees in disbelief. He found the rest of her dress in shreds. Thin strips of the blue fabric littered the ground, as if clawed to shreds. Dark splotches spotted the material and even Charlie Swan couldn't deny that it must be Bella's blood. He knew there was no hope of finding her alive now.

His eyes shot to me, a hopeless mix of anger and fear burning in them, watching my reaction – he was still suspicious of me, blaming me for leading his only daughter to her untimely death, no matter how accidental it may have been.

But I knew my part to play. I froze, still as a statue and stared at the bloodied fabric in disbelief. I let my grief for Bella's loss show on my face.

Chief Swan turned back to stare at the fabric in his hands, unable to see or comprehend anything else for a long moment.

The search party broke up, heading back to the town to spread the news that Bella had been killed by a wild animal of some sort. The mystery was solved and the air was heavy with the sense of final loss.

I went to Chief Swan and touched his shoulder. "I am so sorry for what happened," regret ringing deep and true in my voice. "If I'd had any idea…" I trailed off into silence, unable to continue.

"I don't blame you, son," he said finally, gathering all the pieces of the dress as a memorial of sorts and stood back up. "You couldn't have known. I don't blame you," he repeated, convincing no one but himself and walked back into town, even though I knew in the corner of his mind, he did blame me. He repeated it like a mantra. I could hear him thinking that even though I was probably innocent, if I had stayed away, she never would have wandered off, never would have met a bear or whatever it had been, and would have married James and been happy.

It left a sour taste in my mouth. There was truly nothing more I could do. She would have actually died. It was the man Charlie trusted that was to blame. It was he who beat her to death, he who betrayed her.

The fury was growing, overcoming my grief, and I knew it was time to return home.

Back home where I would plan my revenge.


	12. Planning

_AN – Hello again, loves. Thank you all so much for the great reviews, you seriously make my day. And I'm getting some great feedback on how to make this better, which is always great. This was another chapter that had a LOT added to it. My roommate is currently reading this, too, and she's never read Twilight, so I'm getting some great plot/character developing type things that I took for granted when I first wrote. Although she has my working manuscript, typos and all, so who knows how that may affect her reading. Plus, she is slightly put off by the age difference, which is a whole other story I won't get into because she's crazy. _

_Also, I am feeling lots better, almost 100. This week was a bit of a tough one, adjusting to my new schedule and other crazy stressors, but I'm doing lots better, for those who want to know. My homework, on the other hand…grin_

_Lastly, many many thanks to my beta, choosetodream, for her great work and for the original Stephenie Meyer for her amazing characters and story, which I should probably mention more often. ____ Now on to the story!_

---

_Chapter 12_

I returned home quickly and instantly sought out Bella, to see how she was coping. She was sitting in the living room with Esme. It looked like they had been talking seriously, and Esme had that motherly expression that showed how much she already cared for this new daughter thrown into our lives. And I knew that was how Esme saw her – as a daughter. Esme had lost her own baby and could have no more of her own in the body of a vampire, but she thought of me as her son, and if Bella was going to be involved with us, she was as good as a daughter.

They looked up at my entrance, and Bella's face fell into instant relief as she saw me. I, too, suddenly felt at ease, as if I when I was apart from her I was…incomplete somehow. I was anxious, worried about her, when I was away. Inexplicably so. I had a right to be worried, but not to this degree, did I?

She held out her hands. They were covered in white lace gloves fastened with a pearl button just below her wrist. "Esme gave these to me," she explained, "So I don't overload anyone accidentally." A good idea, I had to admit. But what if I needed to touch her again? What if I simply wanted to?

I mentally shook my head. Not the time, not the time, I had to tell myself over and over again. When this was all over…

Abruptly I said, "They've called off the search," and began to recap the past few hours. "They think you were killed by a wild bear in the woods near Angela's house. James was the one to find your dress."

Her eyes flashed angrily at his name. Rightfully so. I wanted to tear him apart for what he did to her, so I couldn't imagine how she felt herself. Would she want revenge as badly as I did?

Did I dare involve her?

She inadvertently answered my unspoken questions. "So no one suspects him? He's going to go free?" Her voice was colder than I'd ever heard it, colder than I thought possible from someone as innocent as her, laden with hate and anger.

"No one suspects him," I said stiffly, "but he's not going to go free."

Esme looked from my face to Bella's. She saw what I was planning, and she knew what I was capable of, but she wasn't going to stop me. I knew she'd let me make my own choices. She hated James as much as I did.

So she excused herself to find Carlisle and update him, leaving me alone with Bella.

"He's not going to go free." I repeated when Bella didn't say anything and just sat there, stewing over this new information.

The air was tense as Bella looked sharply at me. "I want to help. I want him to pay for what he did. I want him to suffer like I did."

Her voice cut through the room like a sword. It surprised me how deep the hate had already taken root, but I couldn't blame her, and I hated James all the more for corrupting this angel, for the suffering she had to endure – both the physical pain and the emotional turmoil.

"So what are you planning to do?"

"I'm planning to make him suffer. I'm planning to steal everything away from him, like everything was stolen from you."

She nodded, satisfied with my response. "How will we do it?"

I cringed just the slightest at her use of "we." _She_ wasn't going to do anything. I wasn't going to put her in any more danger, even if as a vampire she was virtually indestructible. Physically, he could never hurt her again, but mentally, emotionally – that was a different story. I wanted to avenge her_ for_ her, involving her as little as possible.

"_You_ will do very little," I broke it to her. "You are still too new to this life. You aren't used to abstaining from human blood. I don't want you to loose control."

She looked angry, as if about to defy me, but then her face softened just slightly into a look of disgust. "I don't want _any_ of him inside of me, even if it's his blood."

"Exactly."

"But that doesn't mean I'm not going to do anything. You can't just tell me to step aside. This was _my_ life he ruined and stole from me. I want to be the one to return the favor."

I flinched inwardly at her words. Her life _had_ been ruined. She'd had everything – a life, a family that loved her, and a fiancé that would care for her. But now? Now she was a bloodthirsty vampire, confined to a sunless and lonely half-life, betrayed by that despicable fiancé, and left with _me_. How could I ever forget how far she had fallen? I had begun to think that she could be content – maybe even happy someday – with us. With me.

I was a bigger fool than James. She deserved so much more.

I eyed her deceptively frail frame and sadly replied, "We will see."

She conceded for the moment, not knowing how to respond to my sudden dejection, but I knew that she was not giving in. "So what will you do?" she asked, trying to lift me from my sudden depression.

"We'll take all of those men out, one by one. He will be the last to go, and he'll know I'm coming for him," I said grimly. "Well, he'll know _someone_ is coming for him."

She nodded in approval and motioned for me to go on. I sat beside her on the sofa, carefully keeping my distance.

"And while we're taking his friends out, we'll slowly be taking everything he owns out, too."

"How?"

"I haven't figured that part out yet. But I have ideas, outlines. We'll need to see how he reacts to the others' deaths before we can make any secure plans."

"He won't run away. He has this city in the palm of his hand."

"I'm counting on that. He's so sure of himself that he won't know what to do when someone dares oppose him."

"You're not going to oppose him outright are you?" Something that sounded like worry tinged her words. Worry for what? It couldn't be for me.

"No, he won't see me as an enemy. This has to come out of nowhere. After all," I watched her through anxious eyes, "you didn't see this coming did you?"

Her eyes grew hard, "No. He was my fiancé. I didn't love him, but I trusted him."

My dead heart stirred at the mention that she didn't love him. I didn't press the fact then, but I filed it away. Why didn't she love the man she was going to marry? Was she that desperate for a safe life and to appease her parents? My admiration for her selflessness grew, as did my amazement at her choice to marry.

But still, she did trust him. So we would have to gain this monster's trust. I would have to gain his trust, I corrected myself, silently. She wasn't going anywhere near him. Not if I had anything to say about it.

"What about my father?"

I took a deep breath and anxiously looked at the girl seated in front of me. How do you tell a girl such as this that her father thinks she's dead, and has no hope of ever seeing her again? That she'd never see him again, never talk with him, never take care of him? Another million things she'd lost raced through my mind and I couldn't answer her at first, overcome with anger at the monster who'd done this to her.

"Edward," she prompted, an edge to her voice, warning me that she was already displeased with my refusal to let her help and that one more wrong move could make her temper boil over.

I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to gently brace her as I spoke. "He has closure," I said vaguely, not quite meeting her eyes, but carefully watched her reaction.

But she wasn't having any of that. "What do you mean?" she demanded, shifting away from my grasp and stared at me, drawing my gaze to meet her own.

I tried to shove the feeling of rejection to the side as my hand fell to the sofa. Did I dare burden her with the truth? Did I dare refuse?

Her eyes bore into mine, bright, red, and ferocious. She would not rest until she knew the truth, that much was undeniable.

"He thinks you were killed by a bear…after trying to follow me through the woods," I finally confessed. She had been part of the planning process, after all, I rationed to myself in a pathetic attempt to ease my guilty conscience. "He's taking it as well as can be expected."

"I have to see him," she said instantly and stood to walk towards the door, but I jumped up and grabbed her wrist and spun her around to face me, careful not to come in contact with her skin.

"Absolutely not," I said firmly.

"And why not?" she demanded, clearly growing angry with me as she yanked her wrist away.

"He thinks you're dead, Bella," I said, trying to be gentle and placate her, but failing miserably. "If he sees you…the consequences could be disastrous."

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"The worst? The worst is that he could see you, think you're a ghost or some supernatural creature, and have a heart attack and die of fright." She grew very still. "Or he could spread the word that you were still alive, forcing James to take some sort of action to silence your father and clear his own name. Because he would inevitably be linked back to you that night you disappeared. Our set-up was not just to give closure to those who knew you; it was to give the town an excuse not to persecute the real killer. Your father is safer this way."

I grew as still as she did and watched her digest this. Then in a very quiet voice I said, "But the absolute worst thing that could happen? You could lose control of your bloodlust and kill him."

She gasped and looked at me harshly. "I would never kill my own father," she whispered defiantly and ran up the stairs. A few seconds later I heard her bedroom door snap shut and I was left alone, standing in the middle of the room.

But I had seen the glimmer of a doubt in her frightened eyes.

---

_Sorry for how short this ended up being, but everything after the asking about Charlie is new. So just think about how much shorter it could have been. _

_Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!_


	13. Funeral

_AN – I don't have a whole lot to say about this chapter except I didn't get a chance to print it out and play with it, so there's not a whole lot extra, but it was a decent length to begin with. Mmm, yeah. However! I did finally get around to editing that stupid car out of chapter 3 (and a bit of 4), so if you're curious, there's that. Still working on research for clothes and stuff – my night classes ended this past week, which means I no longer have class until 9 at night! Celebrations. So enjoy this and leave me some love!_

_As always, characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, and many thanks to my beta, choosetodream. _

_--- _

_Chapter 13_

Bella's funeral was that weekend, only a few days later. I supposed Chief Swan wanted it all over and done with as soon as possible. I didn't blame him. I would want closure, too, if a girl like Bella had been stolen from me. 

The funeral was at the local church. It was a very simple affair since it was on such short notice. There was no coffin, simply an arrangement of blood-red roses at the front of the chapel with a portrait of Bella taken when she first arrived. It looked like she had sat for it just before that fateful ball where we first met. She looked so carefree and happy, completely unsuspecting that something was about to happen to change her life forever. It was bittersweet. 

Bella had wanted to come with me, to watch from the shadows. I refused. She was still displeased with me, and had spent the majority of the past couple days alternating between stewing in her room and mourning for her father. She emerged only to try to persuade me to let her see her father again. But as much as it broke my ghost of a heart each time, I had to tell her no. 

"Bella, you are still too new to be anywhere near people. You don't have enough control, and you haven't even hunted since you've been changed. You'll be thirsty the instant a whiff of human blood comes near, and I don't want you to be in that kind of situation."

"I'll be far enough away; it will be fine!" she protested.

"No." I wasn't going to give in on this one. 

"Please, Edward." She turned her large pleading eyes on me, the ones I usually would never be able to withstand. But I had to be firm. She had no idea what she was getting into.

"Please, Bella. Believe me when I say it's too dangerous, too risky." My eyes were hard and I stared her down.

She pursed her lips in a pout that was too desirable for the situation, and she relented. She was still angry with me, anyone could see that. I had to make her understand why I couldn't let her come with me. "Please understand me, Bella. You don't know how strong your vampire instincts are yet. Besides, what if you're seen? There are far too many risks." And another risk I didn't list was that of her emotional stability. Would she be able to handle seeing her father and friends? And ex-fiancé?

She looked down, still pouting. "I understand," she muttered, "but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I never asked you to. As long as you understand," I smiled and drew her gaze to meet mine so she could see how serious I was. She stared back for a moment, seemingly mesmerized by something she saw there.

"I'll be upstairs then," she said abruptly in a resigned sort of voice. "Let me know when you get back." With that, she turned and headed toward the stairs. I watched her go, wishing I could do something more for her, but knowing there was nothing.

I went outside to find Carlisle and Esme to go to the funeral together. Along the way we picked up some white lilies to offer on her grave, even though we knew there was no body and even though she was more alive to us than anyone else. I gathered a bouquet of a dozen. These flowers were death's flowers, a symbol of the end of life. 

A symbol. The idea hit like lightening. _Perfect_. Once back in the car, I pulled out three perfect lilies and set them aside. Those would fulfill their purpose later. 

Carlisle pulled up to the church, maneuvering the car neatly into the parking lot. We piled out, joining the throng that came to pay their respects. I knew most of the faces here, although there were a few unfamiliar ones. Bella's mother, in particular, stood out to me. She was at the front, dressed in black, eyes red, looking perfectly miserable. In her thoughts, she was kicking herself for letting Bella move in with her ex-husband. Not because she didn't trust him, but because it was then that Bella was out of her sight, and she couldn't protect her like a mother was supposed to. I wondered exactly what she would have planned on doing had she been there when the alleged bear attacked. 

I drew on my real pain and guilt for the mask I had to wear here. It wasn't one of the hardest masks I'd ever had to wear – it was more truth than lie, which was a far cry from most of my disguises. I wasn't well acquainted with her as far as the rest of our world knew, but I did know her, and I was partially blamed for her death by at least one man in the congregation. I laid my bouquet of white lilies in front of the blood-red roses next to her picture. The contrast was stark, and it struck me. She had once been as vibrant and alive as the red roses, but now, she was as pale as the white lily. Even in the little black and white portrait, she was so lively and colorful it was almost painful. 

I tore my eyes away from her picture and slipped to the back of the church, watching the others around me. Carlisle and Esme took a seat in a pew near the back, but I preferred to stand. Old habits were hard to break – I'd had more than one occasion where I'd needed to make a quick escape, and those are much easier to pull off when one is already standing near an exit. 

It was a good thing, too, because not five minutes later, Bella's scent innocently wafted in on the breeze. 

I spun around, trying to find her. Had she gone mad? Hadn't I made her understand? Why would she still come here?

When I couldn't locate her among the crowd on the ground floor, I looked to the rafters. That's where I found her. I'm not sure how she got up there, but there she was, perched like a dove, watching her own funeral. She was fairly well-concealed in the shadows, but it would only take a second of forgetfulness for her to move an inch one way and for someone to happen to look up and spot her. I needed to get her away. 

She didn't see me, that much was obvious. She was staring at her parents, her mother in silent tears, her father just silent. She was taking in every detail, memorizing their faces, as if this was the last time she'd ever see them.

Unfortunately, it probably would be. 

Despite my frustration for her disobedience, I was impressed. She looked like she was holding it together. There were so many people packed in the church that I was nothing short of amazed she hadn't gone crazy with desire for their blood. I only prayed no one cut themselves. I almost breathed a sigh of relief that everything would be alright, and I would simply scold her back at home after an uneventful funeral. Of course, I couldn't be too harsh – it was the poor girl's funeral after all.

But of course, nothing was simple anymore.

James walked through the back door and started for the memorial of flowers. I was watching Bella so carefully that I didn't notice him walk in until I saw her stiffen with undeniable hate and anger. She started shaking with rage, clenching her fists, crushing the small portion of timber she was holding onto to splinters. 

She was going to attack him here and blow everything. It would be too fast, too simple, and yet too messy. James would die an easy death and the whole town would see her for what she had become. She would be painted as the monster instead of him.

I had to get to her. 

I scanned the roof in a panic, how could I reach her? The glint of an open window caught my attention – it was propped open not fair from where Bella was crouched – that must have been how she got in. Did I risk rushing outside and losing sight of her? Did I have a choice?

The second I was about to turn and run, Bella moved. But not to attack – her eyes cleared for a brief instant, she shuddered, and disappeared out the window. She must have gained control of herself in the nick of time. Did she see me? Did she know I had seen her?

I couldn't leave her alone, though. I made use of my quick exit and found her standing just outside. She was staring at an object in her own hands in disbelief. 

"Bella?" I asked gently, trying to mask the anger and worry in my voice.

She jumped. She looked up at me, her eyes full of fear. She was trembling. "What have I become?" Her voice shook. 

"Oh, Bella," I gathered her in my arms, not knowing what else to do or say. She collapsed against me, still shaking, her brave façade crumbling away. She was no longer the brave girl who refused to give in for safety's sake. She was simply a girl, lost and scared. 

Her cheek rested on my chest, and her arms wound around my waist, holding onto me like a lifeline. It didn't feel like she was ever going to let go. I found that I didn't mind too much. I didn't mind at all, actually. Even given the circumstances, I was glad I could hold onto her.

Then I realized what I was thinking, what I was feeling. I wanted her. 

I wanted her.

And I could have her.

If I just reached out, there she was. There wasn't anything stopping me anymore. 

Her scent didn't call to the monster inside me anymore, but it did stir the man inside me. She evoked feelings in me that had been long dead. I wanted to hold her, be close to her. I wanted to protect her. 

I knew she deserved so much better than me, but couldn't I be selfish just this once? Couldn't I claim her for just a little while? Just until she realized how unworthy I was and moved on. I could be satisfied with even a short time. 

So I just stood there and held her, letting her hold onto me, and breathing her in. 

And then, all too soon, she pulled away, looked me in the eyes, whispered, "I'm so sorry," and tried to run off.

I caught her wrist and pulled her back to face me. "Don't ever say you're sorry to me," I said fiercely. "You did nothing wrong." 

She tugged at her wrist, but I held fast, "I've been nothing but horrible to you these past couple days. I should have known better! I should have - "

"Should have what, Bella?" I cut her off impatiently, "Should have known exactly how you, a newborn vampire, would react to the scent of blood? Or should have known exactly how seeing your ex-fiancé, who left you for dead, would feel? How could you have possibly known any of that?"

She stared at me for a brief moment, unconvinced and unnerved, before finally pulling away, her newborn strength overpowering me. I let her go and watched her run until she was out of sight. I sighed. What was I supposed to do?

I didn't have any other choice but to go back into the church. Part of me wanted to chase after her, but that part was overruled by the part that decided she needed some time by herself. She'd had so much thrown on her these past few days. And then I had to lose my patience. It was a wonder she hadn't broken down before now. 

Once back inside, I found Carlisle and Esme and, sitting beside them, muttered quickly and quietly what had just happened. They nodded in understanding, and we sat in silence for the rest of the service. 

The ride back home was tense. No one said anything, and I was anxious to see what state I'd find Bella in. I hoped she was at least in her room, and not running off to Canada or something. We pulled up to the house, and I jumped out, eager to see her. 

Esme put one hand on my arm to stop me, and I looked at her impatiently.

"I know you mean well, Edward," she said seriously, "but I think the best thing right now is for you to just be there for her. Don't be too hard on her. She's lost everything she's ever known."

She didn't have to tell me that. I knew only too well. I nodded to show I understood and she released her hold on me.

I rushed through the front door and sprinted up the stairs to stand in front of Bella's door. I could hear her slight breathing inside and breathed a sigh of relief. She was safe. She was home, and she was safe. That was all I needed for now. 

I debated whether or not I should go in and check on her. I knew she must be shaken up from what she'd seen, and I knew she still blamed herself for at least part of what happened, as ridiculous as that idea was to me. Why on earth should she hold herself responsible for anything that had happened these few short days? Everything was beyond out of her hands. She couldn't have dreamed this even in her wildest nightmares, I was sure of it. 

But then I thought I heard a quiet sob and that solidified my resolve. I couldn't let her suffer alone. She was sure to worry over something insignificant, and why should she endure that if it wasn't necessary?


	14. Meadow

_AN – Hey, Happy Easter, everyone! I hope you all had a good week. We're slacking a bit on the reviews – less than half the usual amount on this last chapter. Sad day. I hope you like this chapter. When my very first reader finished the whole thing, she said this bit was her favorite. It's pretty much fluff, so prepare yourself!_

_Disclaimer – SM's sandbox, I'm just playing in it._

_Chapter 14_

I was going to go talk to her right away, but I hesitated just for a moment outside her door as I listened to Carlisle and Esme enter the house. They were silent, as Esme went to tend to her garden and Carlisle to his office, but their minds were loud with worry and excitement.

I suddenly realized how badly I wanted Carlisle's opinion. I couldn't do this on my own. I had no idea what I was doing and I did not like the feeling. I waited until he was situated in his office before going to him. I didn't even have time to raise my hand to knock before I heard him call to me.

"Come in, Edward," his voice was gentle; surely he had already guessed what I wanted to talk to him about.

I nudged the door open and slipped inside. I took a seat in my normal armchair near his desk, where he sat thumbing through papers. He waited for me to start, his mind idly going over his work, endlessly patient with me while I collected myself.

"Carlisle, I don't know what I'm doing," I finally blurted out in a frustrated confession.

He put down the papers and looked at me, his attention fully on me. "Isn't that the point?"

"What?"

"The point of life sometimes. Not knowing what's coming next and dealing with everything as it comes at you. You've been living this life – unchanging – for far too long. You know what people are thinking before they speak. You know how they will act and react. Have you forgotten what it feels like to not know everything?" A corner of his mouth lifted in an amused half-grin. '_And isn't that the first part of falling in love?'_ he continued in his mind, fully aware that I could hear him.

"What does falling in love have to do with anything?" I asked gruffly, not liking where this was heading and not fully up to debating whether we were "living" any "life." That could take hours and it was a conversation we'd had many times.

He shrugged, "They don't call it 'falling' in love without reason, Edward. It trips you up when you least expect it, and then you have to hope there's something – or someone – there to catch you."

"I gave up on hope a long time ago."

"Maybe you should give it another chance."

"Either way, I don't see what that has to do with anything." I said in an obvious effort to change the subject.

He sighed. "Son, sometimes you just have to let life lead you where it will. You've been given a chance at humanity here, in more ways than one. Accept that you don't know everything for once, and just see what happens."

I didn't particularly like this counsel, but he turned back to his work with an air of finality. The problem with his suggestion is that I _did_ usually know everything. Hearing the thoughts of everyone within a mile radius tends to have that effect.

I sighed heavily and stood, knowing the discussion was over. "Thanks, Carlisle."

I knew he knew that I was unconvinced. "Just try it," he called after me as I closed the door behind me, '_What have you got to loose?'_

I froze in the hallway as his thought struck me. Fine. Just this once. I knew he had my best interests at heart, so I could afford to humor him. I started walking again towards my destination. But if he was wrong, I was holding this over his head for the next hundred years.

However, I knew it was all too true that I had nothing to loose.

I knocked softly on Bella's door, and opened it just slightly when I didn't hear any answer.

She was lying in the center of her bed, curled up and eyes closed. I knew she couldn't be sleeping, so I came in.

"Hey," I said softly, coming to the edge of her bed, "are you okay?"

She opened her eyes to look at me pointedly, and I remembered what a dumb question that was. She sighed and closed her eyes again, "If I pretend to be asleep, sometimes it's like I'm really going back to sleep."

That provoked a small smile from me. "Do you miss sleeping?" I asked, curious.

She looked so still with her eyes shut that I could have believed she was really sleeping, if I hadn't known any better.

Her eyes opened again to gaze at me thoughtfully. "Yes and no," she said. "I always wished there were more hours in the day, and now I have an extra ten or so every night. But I do miss being able to take a break. It just seems like one long, unending day."

"I know what you mean," I said gently. "But you can still take a break, you know."

"How?" She sat up to look squarely at me.

I was taking a risk, I knew. But I was running out of reasons to stay away from her, and if I could make her happy, in some perverse way it eased my sense of guilt.

I took her gloved hand and eased her onto her feet.

"Let's go running," I grinned.

She baulked. "R-Running?" she stammered. "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not a very good runner. I'll fall."

"You're different now. And I would have caught you. Trust me."

Her deep eyes shot to mine, surprised, but she did not move. I repeated myself, "Trust me?"

She nodded wordlessly, and I pulled her toward the door.

"My shoes!" she protested, pointing to her bare feet.

"Feels better without them," I flashed a smile, and she complied all too easily, falling in step behind me.

We raced down the stairs and out the door, passing a somewhat startled Esme on the way. I ignored her excited thoughts at seeing me leading Bella away.

Our house was situated deep on the outskirts of town, so the trip to the woods was not a long one. Until we'd reached the cover of the trees, we'd had to keep to a human pace, just in case; but once we hit the tree line, I shot her a glance and challenged, "Race you!"

"Race you where?" she shouted back.

"You'll see."

We were off like bullets through the night. I knew that she had never experienced this type of freedom before, and I was all too glad to provide it to her. This was what I did at night when I couldn't dream or watch other people dream. This was a living dream.

The wind was rushing by, tossing my hair out of my face and fanning it out behind me. Bella was close by, which, oddly enough, added a sense of security. Just knowing where she was eased some tension. The ground beneath me was cool, the grass brushing against my bare feet. Bella's long skirt was gathered in her fists and swished as her legs pumped faster and faster. I was going so quickly that I didn't have the time to even sink into the damp earth. The air was crisp and cool, the rich smell of pine trees riding on the wind.

Bella could probably have easily outrun me, but she stayed close. Her newborn body was still so strong with her human blood that it was only natural that she would be faster and stronger than me at this point. Another sacrifice we vegetarians had to make. But that was why I didn't tell her where we were going. I know she would have run off, and I didn't want her out of my sight.

Once we reached it, though, it was clear it was our destination.

"This is where I like to come to take a break," I said softly, once we both stopped. We were standing on the edge of a meadow, an almost perfectly circular clearing. There were little purple wildflowers spread across it, with the grass growing long and untamed. The wildflowers swayed gently in the light breeze, shimmering in the moonlight. A soft fragrance wafted on that night breeze, surrounding us with the sweet scents the meadow held.

"It's beautiful," Bella breathed.

"I found it when I was hunting once," I offered, walking out into the clearing. "I didn't find anything good to eat, but I thought finding this place was a fair trade for a failed hunt." She smiled.

When I reached the center of the field, I sat in the grass, in a beam of moonlight. The moon was full tonight, and the area was quite light. I could see perfectly.

"So what did you think of your run?" I asked, leaning back to look up at the starry night.

"It was indescribable," She said, sitting down beside me, facing me. Sitting _close_ beside me. "You were right about not wearing shoes. I've always liked to walk barefoot, but I was always scolded for it. It wasn't ladylike," she made a face, pitching her voice in a high mocking tone. "That's what my mother was always telling me."

"There's a time and place for everything," I said, grinning. I liked when she wasn't ladylike. She was more interesting then.

"Another phrase I've heard over and over again," she grimaced. "You know," she started, a bit hesitantly, "I've told you more about my life than James ever cared to know. Why don't you tell me to stop?"

"Tell you to stop?" The idea was ridiculous! I wished she would talk to me forever. She never ceased to surprise me, and I was growing so tired of the predictable people in my world. "I would never ask you to stop. I like hearing about your life. I want to know everything about you." I shifted so I could look directly at her.

"I'm not that interesting."

"Quite the contrary," I countered with a smile. "I find you very interesting."

She digested that for a moment, and an embarrassed look entering her eyes. A question formed on her lips, but it didn't seem to make it any further.

"What is it?" I prompted. This was one of those times I really wished I could read her mind.

She looked down, embarrassed, "I was just wondering…why did you leave town then?"

"Oh Bella," I sighed and decided to just reveal everything. As Carlisle pointed out, what was there to lose, anyway? Only everything and nothing…only her. I didn't have her and so I couldn't lose her. But if I didn't claim her now, would I ever? When would I have another chance like this? What if I simply let the chips fall as they may. I plunged ahead, "I didn't want to. Do you remember when I told you about your scent? About how you were that much more tempting than any other human to me?"

She nodded, wide-eyed.

"I couldn't bear the thought of killing you. You intrigued me before I even knew you. At the ball, you were the only one who asked how I was. You were the only one to ever ask me that – and actually _mean_ it!" I sat up and took her hands in mine. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" Please.

She looked doubtful, like I was just going to laugh any moment and tell her it was a big joke. "That doesn't answer my question," she said with some difficulty.

"I knew it was dangerous for me to get too close to you for that reason alone. But then when I heard you were engaged," I spat the word, "I knew I would get either you or myself into trouble if I stayed here. You had chosen your lot; I wasn't going to interfere where I clearly didn't belong." I struggled to explain myself. It was so unfamiliar, not being able to say perfectly what I meant, and to perfectly understand the situation.

She looked at our hands, my large ones wrapped around hers. She still wore her gloves, and I wished she would take them off so I could feel her smooth skin under mine. But I wasn't going to push her. Everything was up to her, I wasn't going to do anything to scare her away. She'd already dealt with more than enough fear.

She shifted so her hands were holding mine, gently massaging them. It sent tingles up my arms.

"Dream with me for a moment," I whispered. I leaned back down on the cool grass, pulling her down with me, to look up at the night sky, and to forget everything that was weighing my down at the moment. There was no murder to plan, no murder to cover up, no revenge to nurse, just me and this beautiful girl in the grass.

We lay there, side by side, watching the stars fade in and out, bright and dim. This far away from the city, we could see the Milky Way painted across the sky like the spilled droplets of milk that it was named for. She didn't let go of my hand, and continued to absentmindedly draw little circles on my wrist as it lay in the grass. It felt so good, so right.

I stopped looking at the stars to look at the little beauty beside me. I stared at her face by the light of the moon. Her smooth skin was paler than cream, pale as snow. She had an expression of such peace as she stared into the night that I was instantly glad for bringing her out here. It was worth it, risking my secret place, sharing it with her.

My gaze must have drawn her attention, because she suddenly shifted to look back at me. Her eyes bore into mine, as if she could see straight to my core. I couldn't look away even if I'd wanted to.

We stayed that way until the sun began to rise. I closed my eyes, basking in the sunbeams, until I heard Bella gasp. My eyes shot back open as I sat up and looked at her, worried. "What?"

"You're…glittering!" she exclaimed, sitting up as well.

I relaxed and couldn't help but grin. I'd forgotten she hadn't seen us in the sun yet. "Do you remember me mentioning how we couldn't go out in the sun, and how the myths started?" She nodded. "This is why. It's a little conspicuous, don't you think?"

She looked at me in awe, staring. I grew a little self-conscious. I'd gotten used to anonymous females staring at me from across the room, but this was different. _She _was different. It wasn't every day I had a beautiful girl staring at me, sitting this close to me. "Does this mean I glitter, too?" she asked.

I smiled and nodded. She removed her hand from mine, where it had been all night, and took her gloves off to look at her skin. I longed to touch her and reclaim her hands.

Then the sun reached her face, and bathed her in light. It took my breath away. How could anyone be so lovely?

She was like my personal Aphrodite, my own little goddess. She looked at me with something I couldn't quite define in her eyes. Something wonderful and terrible, something indefinable. "Thank you," she murmured.

"For what?"

"For letting me dream," she said shyly, and slipped her hand in mine again - without placing the gloves back on.

I felt that familiar shock at the contact followed by a brief outpour of gratitude. I could not doubt her sincerity. Even if I couldn't physically feel it through her special ability, it shone through every inch of her body. She radiated, and with the sun glowing all around her, she looked like a picture-perfect angel.

I would have been content to just sit with her forever. But we had a job to do, and we needed to get to work. The quiet fury in the back of my mind started back up, stoking the desire to have this perfect angel avenged.

I stood up, pulling her up with me, not breaking contact. I felt a spike of surprise and disappointment as she realized why I must be rising. "The night's over, it's time to wake up," I said, a touch of regret in my voice.

"But we can dream again, can't we?" she asked, uncertainty coloring her words through our connection.

I squeezed her hand, "Of course." She smiled, and in that moment I was content. She wanted to spend time with me. She wanted to dream with me. It was more than I could have hoped for.

"Race you back?" she asked with a mischievous grin.

"You're on," I started to say, but she was already gone, a blur in the dawn's light.

I chased after her and didn't catch her until we were back at the house, laughing, glad to be together. Glad to simply _be_.

_Alright, all at once, Awww. Okay, I'll go throw up now. Sorry, bad week for a fluff chapter for me. I put off editing this for SO long. Ugh. But that's a whole other story. Heh. I'll update my profile with some elaboration or something. _

_Please review! I'll do what I can to respond, I love hearing from you! And there are over 100 people watching this, so I know you're out there! (And like, 60 of you have this favorited, I don't know _what_ your excuse is.)_


	15. Hunting

_AN – No real thoughts for you today, sorry, I'm exhausted and got some negative feedback from the roommate I mentioned before. She finished, though, and said she liked it, some parts were just "too gruesome" for her. Sooo, if you're queasy, look out for the last couple chapters that will apparently throw you. I'll try to warn you. This chapter has blood. _

_A million thanks to choosetodream for her beta work and to all you wonderful people who review. Well over 100 people are watching this (114 at last count), so I know you're out there! Ya'll did great with the last chapter, think we can hit 200 reviews after this one? Also, I'm getting requests to make longer chapters…but I don't know what else to write. So if you have suggestions, let me know and maybe I'll try to work them in with what I have. And I'm sorry if I didn't respond to your review, I lost track of which ones I'd responded to and then kind of forgot…Sorry! This chapter had minimal changes because I've been so tired and busy. My semester ends in a couple weeks here, so end of term projects and papers are fast approaching. And I'm sure you know how much fun that is…_

_I like how I said "no thoughts" and then babbled on like that. Sorry. .._

_Now enjoy the chapter!_

_Chapter 15_

Back at the house, I'd reached a decision. I suppose I had reached it before then, but her actions at the funeral only spurred the decision. I'd let her come with me.

I'd realized that if I told her to stay home, she would only sneak out. And I couldn't risk her getting into trouble that she couldn't get herself out of. And I'd come to realize that she could actually be very helpful, too.

She'd gotten in and out of the church by herself, without anyone but myself noticing. She was no liability.

So she was in the game. This very dangerous game we were about to play.

"Are you ready to wake up?" I asked once we were back in my room.

She smiled, "Not really, but do I have a choice?"

"You always have a choice," I said seriously and reached out to stroke her hair, but thinking better of it, simply touched her sleeved arm. She smiled sadly at my motions, knowing why I didn't touch her.

"It's ok, you know," she started, shyly looking at the floor.

"Ok?"

"To touch me," she looked up through her eyelashes as her words hit me like an electric shock. Really? She was really ok with sharing that part of herself with me? I knew she didn't have complete control yet - she was nowhere near it. But to be willing to risk sharing that with me…I didn't know what to say.

I wanted to kiss her.

I wanted to explore how far the bounds of "ok to touch" stretched. Nothing indecent, of course…at least not yet. No, no, just…I wanted to feel her lips against mine, I wanted to know how she tasted, if it was anywhere near to what I experienced when I drank her blood.

But I didn't want to scare her away. So I settled on lightly brushing her cheek with my fingertips. I wasn't even aware I was holding my breath in anticipation until I tried to take a deeper breath as we touched. I heard her inhale sharply and she looked at me with such trust in her eyes I could hardly stand it. The familiar static feeling danced along my fingertips as they stroked from her cheek to her chin.

What amazed me most of all was that I felt no fear from her. She wasn't afraid of me. She _trusted_ me. The thought was incomprehensible. Never in my life had I ever imagined I would find someone like her.

Her eyes drifted shut and she leaned into my touch. I needed to pull away before I got too distracted or else we'd never get anything done. Normally, that would be perfectly okay with me, but there was a constant fire burning at the back of my mind, waiting to be fed and extinguished.

I stepped back, and she opened her eyes again. Her lips pouted slightly. Was she as reluctant as I was to end this moment? No, it couldn't be possible. That was simply too much to hope for.

"I have a plan."

The dreamy expression was instantly gone, replaced by a hard mask of anger. It happened so quickly I had to resist the urge to step back. Did I tell her now that I was going to let her help me? I suppose it was a good a time as any.

So I continued, "And I've decided you're going to play a part."

Her face lit up as if I'd just given her a wonderful gift. It was almost sadistic, how pleased this news made her. "I know you'd just follow me anyway," I explained wryly, and she had the sense to look a little ashamed, "and I think you can really help me. You were right, in part. You do deserve to be a part of this. More than I do."

"Thank you," she said, sincerity ringing in her words. Her voice was cool, collected. Surprisingly confident. She wasn't an innocent girl when she was plotting with me. She was a woman, powerful and dangerous.

"So what do you have planned?"

"We're going to make him suffer the one way we truly can." I grinned maliciously, "Through his mind. We're going to pick them off, one by one. He'll see his friends murdered and know we're coming for him."

She nodded her approval.

"Tonight we'll begin." She clearly liked that. "But first," I interjected, "you need to hunt. I'm not taking any risks with you being so near people."

She looked confused. "Hunt?"

"Yes. There's lots of deer in the woods, and if you're not thirsty, it'll be a little easier for you to be around people."

"How can you tell I'm thirsty?"

"Your eyes." I said, peering into the dark orbs. "They get darker as we get hungrier."

It was like a light turned on in her mind, and she murmured, "So that's why your eyes changed colors."

"You noticed?" I was surprised.

"I noticed a lot about you."

I didn't know how to respond to that. She seemed to have that effect on me a lot lately.

"So when are we going hunting?" she changed the subject abruptly.

"Now, if Carlisle and Esme are up to it. They haven't fed for a while either, and it will be good for all of us to be together." She looked pleased with that answer. I knew she had already grown fond of Esme, and she had always respected Carlisle.

The two of them were in Carlisle's study and readily agreed to a hunting trip. We were off and running within the hour.

We lived far enough upstate that there were always plenty of deer to be had. They sometimes even wandered into town. We were doing the city a service by hunting them, even in the off season. But deer get tiresome after so long, and we were forced to travel further north for more appetizing game, like bears or wolves.

But we didn't have time today to go in search of a good meal. And everything would taste the same to Bella at this point, so there wasn't any point in exerting so much energy. Plus, we would need to keep an eye on her, and that was easier to do when there wasn't a good meal quite literally running by.

We reached a good spot, and Carlisle took the lead. "Edward, take Bella and head north, Esme and I will cover you on the side." I nodded and looked at Bella to see if she was ready. She looked nervous, but ready to do this.

We started running and it wasn't long before I caught the scent of a small herd. Four deer, perfect for us. I glanced at Bella, watching to see if she caught the scent, too. She clearly had. Her muscled were taut, read to spring at a moment's notice. Her eyes were dilated, taking in as much as possible of her surroundings. She took the lead, and I followed behind, letting her take control. It would do her no good if I never let her hunt for herself, and it was best for her to start learning now.

She didn't even slow down once the deer were in sight – three does and a buck. She went straight for the buck, and reacted purely on instinct. I could see the moment it took hold of her. She stopped moving like a human, even a supernatural human, and started moving like an animal.

She moved with the grace of a cat, like a great lioness or tigress. More the tigress – she was exotic, moving in ways unfamiliar to me. It was hypnotic. I was more interested in watching her hunt than keeping track of the actual prey. She was so beautiful.

The buck went down with a loud smack as he hit the earth. She was on him in a fraction of a second; he never had a moment to react before she snapped his neck by slamming him down and biting hard. Her razor-sharp teeth broke through the skin with the barest effort and she drank deeply.

I took out one of the does before they darted off, and Carlisle and Esme took the last two for themselves with a clean kill apiece. I finished mine quickly, not bothering to relish the warm liquid as it quenched my eternal thirst as I normally did. I was too worried about Bella. How would she react once her human instincts took back over? I doubted she had ever killed before, even the accidental bug, let alone taking down a large buck and draining it of blood in under five minutes.

I didn't have to wait long. The carcass sagged as Bella pulled back, having completely drained it. She was a little messy. Blood splattered on her light dress and dripped down her chin. She looked down at her hands which were also spotted in blood. She shuddered, and I was at her side in an instant, kneeling down beside her.

"You did very well," I whispered in her ear. And she did, I was proud of her. More than that, I was impressed. She was a natural hunter.

"I've never killed anything before." She was calm, maybe a little in shock. But she seemed to be taking it fairly well. As well as could be expected at least.

"I never would have guessed," I grinned. She turned to me in surprise, and seemed unable to think of any other reaction than to return my grin. I reached over and cleaned her chin with my sleeve, lingering to touch her cheek as I had just before we left.

"How come you didn't get all gross?" She asked, a little put out.

I chuckled. "Lots and lots of practice." She pursed her lips. "Don't worry, you'll get better."

"I suppose I have to believe you."

"Thanks."

I stood and pulled her up as our companions joined us, and we headed back to our home.

I left her alone to clean up. Esme had been more than prepared and had gotten more than enough clothes for Bella to choose from. She came to find me once she was washed up and didn't bother with any preliminaries.

"So, when are you finally going to tell me what you have planned?" She sat next to me and fixed her gaze on my face.

"Good to see you again, too," I grinned.

She rolled her eyes. "Please, Edward."

"Since you were so polite and said please," I teased before taking on a more somber tone. "Well, what we'll be doing tonight involves a little breaking and entering, then we'll be leaving each of them a little present."

"Present?" she raised an eyebrow.

I held up the three white lilies from her funeral bouquet, and her eyes softened ever so slightly.

"Perfect," she breathed. "And thank you, by the way, for giving me those, however indirectly it was."

I smiled, "You understand the present part of it then, I assume?"

"Yes. The flower of death. It sends a perfect message."

"Then are you ready to go?"

The dangerous glint was back in her eyes, and she said with such clarity it almost frightened _me_, "Yes."


	16. Lily

_AN – Sorry for the slightly delayed chapter. But it's still Monday! Notes in the profile. Characters to Stephenie Meyer, don't sue me. Please leave a review...if you can't think of anything to say, tell me what your favorite line or something was._

_--_

_Chapter 16_

"Alright, tonight we simply leave them a little message. Tomorrow we go in for the first kill." I informed her as we skulked through the shadows of the sleeping town. She was holding the three lilies tightly in a clenched fist as I led the way. I had to go first in case we ran into someone. I could not only "hear any potential threats, but I could also distract the unwanted guest and Bella could hide.

The plan was more of a loose outline.

At any rate, we were on our way to the first house. I didn't even know this target's name. Why bother? I did know he worked in the butcher shop, lived a block north of Main Street, and was universally known as being extremely paranoid. Rumor had it that he had two pistols and a sword on his person at all times. One shotgun was in case the other malfunctioned, and the sword was in case they both failed to shoot. I was curious to see if even knew how to use the sword.

As for his home, it was obvious this man was well off. The brick structure stood proudly between two large oak trees, softly bathed in light from the streetlamps. The trees might have looked impressive, but they were horrible as far as protection was concerned. It would be all too easy to climb one and hop through a window. Even an unskilled common thief could break into this place, from the looks of it.

However, that didn't really fit with this man's personality. Wouldn't he have noticed that easy access in his paranoia? I turned to Bella and asked her opinion.

Her eyes were hard and focused as she confirmed my doubts. "He was bragging about it the last time he paid James a visit and I was there to overhear. It looks like an easy target, but there are practically starving guard dogs hidden, and loads of trip wires inside." She motioned to the window on the far left, "That window, for example, hides a wire attached to the pane that holds a bucket up until the window is opened. When the window is opened, or broken, the wire goes lax and covers the intruder with some kind of sticky blue paint-like concoction. The paint is near impossible to remove and the stickiness makes for a hard clean get-away. They usually catch the culprit before he gets back out the window. And even if he did, he couldn't really hide anyway, now could he?"

I almost began to admire this man's security systems. Perhaps he wasn't as brainless as I thought. "And the other side?"

"He doesn't want to pull the same trick twice, so that one sounds an alarm loud enough to wake the entire city." She shrugged, "I think there are dogs inside there, too. He was prouder of the blue paint."

"Alright." This might actually be a little bit of a challenge. "Do you know where his bedroom is located?"

She cocked an eyebrow, "Actually, I do. He was very proud of his protection in that particular room. He sleeps with a pistol and sword on his nightstand, a guard posted outside, an alarm triggered window, and the blue paint." She eyed me carefully, "You want to leave the flower in his room?"

"It shows just how close we can get, should we chose." I grinned, "It's a nicer touch than just breaking in and leaving it any old place."

"So how do you propose we get in, then?" She looked doubtful that I had any plan. I would have been insulted, but then I remember that I did not, in fact, have a ready-made plan.

"The guards and dogs aren't a problem," I said confidently. "However, we want to be as quiet and…not blue as possible." I eyed the house, "Is the chimney protected at all?"

She looked at it, surprised, "I doubt it. No normal person could get down that and back out again!" She was right. The chimney stood at least fifty feet tall along the side of the house, and solid brick. If any human tried to drop down it, they're either fall and break their neck, or get stuck trying to shimmy up.

Fortunately for us, we weren't human.

"That's our way in."

I dashed forward from shadow to shadow with Bella only a fraction of a second behind me. We used the tree to get to the roof and slid down the chimney and in less than a minute we were inside the so-called impenetrable fortress.

"What were you planning to do about the dogs and guards?" Bella whispered anxiously.

"It's late. I'm sure they'll be sleepy. If they're not already napping, I'm sure they'd appreciate one," I said with a mischievous glint in my eyes.

"I'm not going to ask what you mean by that," she muttered and fell in step behind me.

However, it seemed that taking care of the dogs and guards would prove to be unnecessary – they didn't exist. I couldn't see or smell them, and if they managed to escape _my_ notice, then they simply weren't there. I was a little disappointed, I'll admit. I had a lot of pent-up energy, and it was remarkable what knocking people unconscious can do for problems like that.

"Do you think if he was bluffing about the guards? He was bluffing about everything else." I questioned Bella.

She looked thoughtful. "It's possible. Although I've seen his guns and sword, so I know that rumor is true. I've never seen him use them, though."

My shoulders sagged. How disappointing. Maybe he was brainless after all. "Well, let's get in and get out. Maybe he'll prove to be more challenging once he gets the message his life really is on the line."

We found the master bedroom with little difficulty – a superior sense of smell was useful for things like this. Although not usually used for this sort of thing, useful nevertheless.

I checked for any wires before nudging the door open. Again, to my disappointment, nothing was there.

We crept into the room, invisible to human eyes, should the sleeping man wake up. We could see in the dark and could move before he even knew his eyes were open. I made my way to the nightstand with Bella close behind me. I was actually glad to see a revolver and rapier there – at least _some _truth made it through the grapevine in tact.

I took the white lily from Bella's outstretched hands and placed it neatly between the two weapons.

I jerked my head at the door and motioned that it was time to go.

"That was…rather anti-climatic," she said as we headed back to the chimney without incident.

"We'll have to save the excitement for tomorrow," I said with a grin. "Now, do you want to leave a calling card at the other two houses tonight, or wait a little?"

She seemed a little startled that I asked her opinion. I could tell she was pleased by it though. "Let's wait," she decided after a moment's thought. "Let them think they are safe for a day or two."

"Then let's go home and wait for the rumors to begin."

It didn't take long for the rumor mill to get up and running. Apparently the man had determined it too dangerous to leave his house and declared the next day a sick day. When he didn't show up to work, a maid had been sent to his home and found him hiding weapons in every nook and cranny, muttering to himself all the while about spirits out to do him in.

Maybe he would make good on some of those rumors.

Night had just fallen and we were ready to get to work. "Would you like to deliver messages before or after?" I asked, leaving the choice up to her again.

"Let's do those first, in case they wake up with all of the ruckus we'll be causing." She was starting to take control more naturally now, settling into a more confident mindset.

"Then let's go deliver some messages."

The second man's name I actually knew. He was called Laurent, and had just recently arrived here from France on an extended business trip. He dealt with some kind of shipping companies and trade. He wasn't too familiar with the area, but he was certainly buddy-buddy with the local aristocracy.

He was staying in an inn near the tavern, coincidentally. He had never wandered far from the either. All business was done at the inn and all pleasure was done at the tavern. It was a good system, really. If it weren't so pathetic, I might admire it.

So his residence was ridiculously easy to break into. I just walked into the lobby and got a room while Bella waited outside – I didn't want her in such a confined space with all that human blood. It was a risk we didn't need to take. Inside, the receptionist knew me, so I told her it was for a business partner that I was expecting later that evening, but too much later for him to check himself in. I would just give him the keys myself.

Now I had a legitimate excuse to be there. And no one would expect to see my partner, because I had a history of being very private with my business affairs. And I had the money to back my pleas for privacy up, so no one ever bothered me.

I went up to the room to "make sure everything was set for my guest." Once there, I opened the window wide for Bella climb through with the lily. We were on the second floor, but that was an easy leap for a vampire. Once in the room, simply had to sniff out Laurent's room and wait until he was either asleep or out.

"Why don't you take the lead this time?" I offered to Bella, reclining on the bed. This was such an easy job, it was kind of boring. I was ready for the big job later tonight.

"Really?" She looked excited, and glanced at the white flower in her whiter hands. She paused and said, "Will you still come with me, though?"

I was hoping she would ask. I really didn't want to leave her alone. It made me anxious. "You only have to ask." I smiled.

"Thanks. I feel better knowing you're with me," she admitted shyly.

"Lucky for you, I don't happen to mind being with you."

"Thanks ever so." She rolled her eyes, embarrassment gone. I didn't want her to get worked up and loose her focus. If she was going to be a part of this, she needed to understand what she was getting herself into. "Let's go. He was in the next room over, but the scent's stale."

I was impressed. She picked it up faster than I thought. "You sure he's gone?" I tested.

"I could smell him in the lobby. He left an hour or so ago. I bet he's next door," she pulled a dirty look.

"Nice job," I complimented. "Now how do you plan in getting in?"

She paced a moment, then eyed me. "What do you know about picking locks?"

I laughed. "More than enough. Nice and simple. It'll do, I suppose."

She peeked outside our door, and, once determining the coast was clear, stepped out into the dark hallway. "Do you have a hair pin?" I asked casually strolling out behind her.

She blinked, and reached up into her hair, pulling a pin out, "I do actually."

She smiled as she handed it to me. "Thanks," I said, but looked at her curiously as I explained, "these are the best tools to work with."

Noticing my curious look, she explained, "I normally don't wear pins – they hurt my head. But Esme showed me how to wear them properly." She shrugged, reliving the moment. "My own mother never spent much time on her hair or frivolous things like that."

I was glad Esme was taking such a liking to Bella, and returned her smile as I picked the lock.

In no time, the door flew open, and we had full access to Laurent's room. "Where should we leave it?" Bella asked, looking around the neat room.

"The bed?" I suggested. "Up close and personal."

"And impossible to miss." She placed it on the bed.

Mission accomplished. We cleared out of there without a problem and were on to the last benign mission of the night. Well, relatively benign.

James lived a bit further out of the way. His family owned a lot of land that they were prodigiously proud of out on the north side of town. The family dealt mostly with business ventures, but they bred horses as well, as a bit of a hobby, I suppose. Although, the family was from old money, so almost everything they did was a hobby.

Either way, the estate was well known and well populated, which made it a little difficult to maneuver. With so many people living there – family, friends, servants, and so on – there was a heightened chance of running into someone undesirable. Plus, if we factored in the combined emotional status of Bella and I… the picture wasn't exactly crystal clear. So I took the reins for this one.

I still needed Bella's input, though. "I'm assuming you know the layout to this place very well?"

Her lips were tight, thin lines, and her eyes were cold. For the first time that night, I thought I could feel the fear eating at her. I must have let my suspicions show, because she closed up tight and hid her worry. She simply nodded in response.

"I only vaguely know the place. I've been here once or twice for social gatherings," I explained, somewhat unnecessarily. I didn't need to tell her about James' family's social life. She probably knew more about it than I ever would.

She stared straight ahead without really seeing. "There's a ledge by his bedroom patio. He would use it to sneak out all the time. It's hard to see and high up. He used a vine to climb down." She spoke without inflection. I reached out to touch her arm and reassure her that I was there and that I wasn't going to leave her alone.

She blinked, as if waking from a trance and turned to face me, away from the house. "I don't know if I can go in there," she said shakily. "I don't know if I can see him yet, even asleep."

I held her arms tight. "Then don't. I'm not going to push you. I can be in and out in less than five minutes if you want me to go ahead without you."

She wouldn't meet my eyes as she nodded, clearly ashamed. I pulled her into a quick embrace before darting off to find the patio she spoke of. She gasped at the sudden movement, taken by surprise, but did not say anything or make any other noise as I suddenly disappeared.

I searched the wall for the patio. Each bay window on the third floor had its own personal patio deck, which one was his? I didn't want to press Bella again, so I looked for the vine.

There it was, second from the right. It was hard to see, and might have even been hard to get to. But I scaled the building quickly, slid open the glass door, and was in and out in fifteen seconds, leaving the lily on his nightstand. I didn't give James' unconscious body a second glance. I didn't want to tempt the rage inside of me just yet. And I had promised Bella no more the five minutes.

And five minutes can be a very long time when you're alone.

She looked ashamed of herself when I returned only three minutes after having left her. We stood in the shadow of a large willow tree. "Hey," I said gently, "You're alright." It wasn't a question this time.

She didn't look at me. "How can you say that?" She muttered, and I don't think she meant to say it to me.

"Bella, look at me." I placed my fingers under her chin and propped her face towards mine, fighting the instinctual flinch as her worries and doubt shocked me on contact. Her eyes flew to mine in surprise. I didn't remove my hand.

"Bella, you are doing better than I could have ever expected. Don't push yourself too far. If you want to do this, I know you can. You have more than enough spirit and fight left inside of you. You are a powerful creature that I would never want on my bad sad." I said with a smile, remembering watching her hunt.

She only stared back at me, but I felt the trickle of comprehension drip from her mind through my fingertips. Little by little, I was going to make her understand how beautiful and strong she truly was.

"What James and his little friends did was a horrible, horrible crime against nature." I could feel the edge in my voice and knew my own eyes had hardened. It was time to call on that fury. "Now it's time to begin paying them back. Are you ready?"

Her voice was confident when she answered, a fire burning in her blood-red eyes. "I'm ready. I'm ready to show them what they did to me. I'm ready to punish them for what they did to me. I'm ready."

We began running for the first man's house, the thrill of the hunt coursing hot in our dead, cold veins.


	17. Poison

_AN - Alrighty, please be nice with this chapter as it's finals week and I'm very tired and I can't get a hold of my beta. Plus I was up 'til 6am last night and might end up doing something similiar tonight. Yeah. Please review and make my day! Thanks again to everyone who's reviewed or favorited or watched this. I'm amazed at how many of you there are!_

_Characters to Stephenie Meyer, please don't sue me._

_--_

_Chapter 17_

The plan was fairly simple. We would sneak in again, only this time he would know we were there. We would be impossible to ignore.

It was late by the time we got to the house after delivering our little presents. It was dead quiet inside the house. Outside, we had at least had the wind blowing in our ears, easing some of the tension, but once we slid down the chimney with our bundle of joy, all sound was killed. An ominous beginning, to say the least.

Bella carried our tools for the deed. She would be a key player this time. The point was for her to be seen, for the man to realize what was happening to him and why. Bella could convey that all too easily.

However, that was the part of the plan I did not exactly approve of. It had been my plan that Bella simply appear out of no where, and tell him what had happened – terrorize him with her quiet but deadly voice. But she wanted him to get the whole story. She wanted to send the message to him directly. Personally, I didn't want him touch her, no matter what the circumstances.

"Please, Edward," She had begged, "I know what I'm doing."

"No, Bella." I was firm. "I don't want you to live through that again."

"No, it's almost… therapeutic," she protested. "I don't relive it, I watch from the sidelines. I can even look away, or shut it out if I want to."

I looked at her suspiciously and she looked right back at me, refusing to give in. "Please." She said simply.

"I don't like it." I started, and she knew she had won. Did she know how strong her hold on me was already? "But you must promise you won't get yourself into anything you can't handle."

"I promise." She was resolute.

So here we were, creeping along the dark hallway once again. To my immense disappointment, there were still no guards or guard dogs. There was also the faint scent of wine hanging in the air as we approached his room; he had been drinking. If we were lucky, the bottle would still be in his room. If we were unlucky, well, we had prepared for that, too.

But the scent that so often hinted at an attempted escape from reality didn't mean the man hadn't learned something since our last visit.

This time when we pushed the door to his bedroom open, dozens of bottled clattered across the floor, making such a loud racket that I had to cover my ears and I saw Bella do the same out of the corner of my eye. The man had stacked empty bottles behind the door and when we had pushed it open, the tower toppled over, warning him. He sprang up from his bed, snatching the pistol from his nightstand and aiming for my chest. The rapier was still there, as well as an empty wine glass on a platter with what must have been his dinner plates. He had taken dinner in his room; this would work out better than I had hoped.

_Bang! Bang!_ Two shots flew through the air, straight at me. I threw myself to the left, in front of Bella on instinct. The bullets missed. I took stock of the man firing at me.

He looked angry. He clutched the pistol in two hands, which shook slightly. There was no trace of fear on his face, but I could sense it. He didn't wait to see who his intruders were before shooting again.

_Bang! Bang!_ _Bang!_ Three shots whistled past. I dodged again, carefully pulling Bella with me, making sure I was between this madman and her. It didn't matter that the bullets would do us no harm, since we had diamond hard skin; the instinct to avoid being shot was still there. I had never been hit before, and I didn't know if it still had a small effect. I didn't want to test my luck now, and especially not with Bella.

"Who's there?" the man finally called out. Of course. I'd forgotten he couldn't see us, it was still pitch black. I looked to Bella and she nodded.

I switched on a gas lamp mounted near the door, bathing the room in flickering light. He blinked rapidly, not believing what he saw as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light.

"Edward _Cullen_?" He asked in disbelief. "What are you doing here? It couldn't have been you who left that warning… you have no reason to hate me."

"That is where you are wrong," I said coldly.

Bella stepped into view from behind me.

"_You?_" The man was about to go into shock as he took in Bella's form. "But – but you're dead!"

"That's where you'd be wrong," she said softly, her voice malicious and her eyes hard. Her eyes were still a brilliant red, and slightly wild with thirst for this human's blood.

"How is that possible? Are you a ghost? Are you going to kill me?"

"I don't think you're in any position to be asking questions," she said, a mocking smile on her lips. "But," she continued, "I'm feeling generous. Would you really like to know?"

He nodded, struck dumb.

"Then come, first make sure that I am really standing here in front of you. I am no ghost." She beckoned him forward and I had to restrain myself from shoving him away from her.

She removed her lace gloves and threw them on the bed. "Touch my hand."

His eyes flashed to mine, suspicious, but too afraid to refuse. His hand crept forward and grabbed hers in a tight vice-grip, as if he was going to swing his other arm around and hold her as a hostage against me. The gun was still in his hand.

But the instant his skin touched hers, his eyes went blank, trapped in the memory. Bella looked to me, her dark eyes trained on mine. I encouraged her with my gaze, reassuring her I was still here, urging her to focus on me and not the memory.

"Come closer," the words fell out in barely a whisper. "Edward, I need you close beside me." She sounded faint.

I was at her side in a flash, locking her gaze in mine and holding her arms, needing to touch her, even if there was the thin fabric of her dress separating us. It was selfish of me, but I didn't want to live through that memory any more than she did.

But even though I wasn't directly touching her, I still caught flashes. It was too intense of a memory for her to contain. She was too emotionally caught up in it, sending this memory to anyone in close range, not just in direct contact. Her eyes were so dark, so intense, and so full of hurt, it truly took all my control to not rip this man away from her and snap his neck, killing him once and for all.

But that would ruin everything. So I let the fury fume, simmering just below the surface. Patience, I told myself. Patience, and he will get what's coming to him.

The memory ended, and Bella threw him away from her, gasping for air she didn't need. The man dropped his pistol when he was trapped in the memory and accidentally kicked it under the bed as he was flung to the wall.

The man's body shook, and looked at us in terror. "What do you want with me? What _are_ you?"

I took over as Bella stepped back to regain her composure. "We wanted to show you what you did. We wanted you to truly experience your crime. And now, we will carry out your sentence. We are your executioners."

His eyes darted around with the sudden realization that he was unarmed. He lunged for the sword at his bedside and brandished it at me, staggering slightly.

I clucked my tongue at him. "So you still want to fight. Very well. Bella?" I beckoned her and she walked to the wine bottle that innocently sat on a on the dinner platter at his bedside. She slowly poured a glass of wine, eyes on her work. Replacing the bottled back on the night stand, she approached us quickly with the full glass. To the man, I'm sure it seemed that she suddenly appeared at his side – her movements were too fast for his eyes to follow. Which means he also missed her…addition to his drink. He flinched away on instinct.

"I will fight you, and I will fight fair. Well," I smiled ironically, "not quite fair."

"Some wine to revive your spirits?" Bella offered, her smile more frightening than reassuring.

He looked from her to me and back again, clearly suspicious. "You do not trust us," I observed, "And rightly so. But, we thought it only fair for you to be at the top of your game when fighting for your life. And it is your own wine, you can see that."

He snatched the glass – carefully not touching Bella's ungloved hands – and downed its contents in one gulp, shaking his head to clear his mind, and throw the glass to one side of the room. It shattered as it hit the marble floor.

He took a stance and faced me, ready to lunge.

I had no weapon, but I didn't need one, and he seemed to sense how dangerous I could be when I wanted to be. I let the monster inside of me, my vampire instincts, rise to the surface, mixing with the hate I already had for this loathsome creature standing in front of me.

He lightly danced from one foot to the other, shifting his weight quickly back and forth, trying to decide how to attack. I stood calm and tense, waiting.

His thoughts betrayed him. I could hear perfectly when he was going to attack. I didn't need my superhuman speed to dodge him.

_Now!_ He thought and lunged. Too slow.

I stepped nimbly to one side. Again! I stepped to the other side.

Again! Again! Again! I was dancing around him, easily avoiding blow after blow, jumping back from each jab.

"Are you just going to run?! Or are you going to fight?!" He yelled at me in frustration.

"Oh I do not think you want me to fight," I said softly, dangerously. I smiled in satisfaction. We were reaching the breaking point.

One, two, thee more attacks! His movements were getting slower. This did not escape his notice. The intense pain that suddenly wracked his body might have been a clue, as well.

He dropped his sword, his hand shaking too badly to grip it any longer. He looked at his hands in disbelief before snapping his head back up to stare at me accusingly. "What did you do?!"

"I?" I asked, far too innocently. "I did not do a thing." I bent down to pick up a fragment of the shattered glass. "But you'll find that you on the other hand … ," I trailed off and watched his eyes widen in comprehension.

"Poison." He gasped.

"Give the man a prize," I said harshly. "You see, we could have you body marked in any way. The police would suspect foul play. Now it will just look like you had gone mad and downed arsenic of your own free will. You have been acting oddly lately," I informed him conversationally.

He clutched at his throat, as if he could claw out the poison with his bare hands. It was a useless gesture, of course.

Thirty long seconds later, the light faded from his eyes and he lay dead on the floor.

I attended to Bella first. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine. Let's get this done first. I'll freak out later." She was still in control, but it sounded like she was hanging on by a thread.

I took the sword from the man's dead hands and place it carefully where it had been before he attacked us. I fished the pistol out from under the bed and replaced the fired bullets with fresh shots from his own store, and then placed it back beside the sword. I gathered the shells, thanking our luck that he had fired out the window so there were no bullet holes to cover up. Bella had thrown the windows open in a moment of inspiration and quick thinking. I closed them now, carefully locking them.

I picked her gloves off the bed from where I had thrown them before and handed them to her. She slipped them back on without a word.

I surveyed the room. It looked like the man had drunk the poison, and then thrown the glass against the wall in anger, collapsing in a dead faint. The autopsy would confirm this suspicion.

"Let's go."

We were up the chimney, and back in my room before the manservant even knew his master was dead.

We sat on my couch for a long moment as I waited for Bella to being freaking out, as she had hinted she would. It didn't come.

"How are you doing?" I asked carefully. She was slightly slumped over, her head down. At my question, she raised it and looked me straight in the eyes.

"I feel … good." She said, her voice full wonder at her own answer. "Really good. Better than I have in a long time."

I pulled back in surprise and looked at her incredulously.

"No really," she reassured me. "I feel strong. I've been feeling so weak and helpless ever since…" she broke off. "But now! I didn't know I had that in me!"

I was torn between heartbreak and overwhelming pride.

I was so proud of how she had down. She had owned up to the occasion. She dealt that man what he deserved without breaking down. Her powers were growing – she would be able to send messages without contact when she was trained or she needed to out of desperation.

But my heart broke because she was no longer the innocent girl she had been when I first met her. She had not done the deed, but she was becoming as cold-blooded a killer as I was. She was falling prey to the thrill of the kill. Could I do that to her? Could I take what remaining innocence she had away from her?

Did I have a choice any more?


	18. Control

_AN - Surprise! I only have one final left and three days to take it, so I decided to take a break. Plus, I'm hoping to speed up releases in order to be done by my birthday, the second week of May. So if you don't have me on alert, I'd reccommend fixing that. So, please enjoy the chapter! And review!_

_All recognizable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with them._

_-- _

_Chapter 18_

The word of the man's death was all over town by daybreak, Carlisle reported. Bella and I waited anxiously at home until he came back on his lunch break shortly before noon.

Since she apparently didn't require any comforting from me, I told her to rest up and led her to her room. Truthfully, I just needed some time to think, and to put together some last minute details for our next messages to our friends. And I found that I found it difficult to think around her.

And not just because of the guilt.

Each day, each moment, I was growing more and more attached to her.

As terrifying as that was in and of itself, the scariest part was that I think she was starting to grow attached to me.

She had called out to me last night as she began to loose control, just for me to stand near her to help her focus. If my mere proximity helped her that much, what message was I supposed to interpret from that? I couldn't let her get close to me, it wasn't good for her. _I_ wasn't good for her. Wasn't good enough for anyone.

I was standing in our library looking up information for a certain … spice we needed when Carlisle came home. I just needed to know where to get it.

"You certainly stirred up quite the mess," Carlisle said by way of a greeting. He wasn't accusing me or scolding in any way, he was just commenting on my recent activities.

"Yes, well, that was kind of the point." I said. "What are they saying?"

"They're saying that he went crazy and killed himself. The connection between the flowers haven't been made, no one has mentioned the lily he got the night before. At least, not in the streets," He said. "But I know that James and Laurent have both heard of the others' floral delivery. They pay well to be informed by the hired help."

"Good," I said, returning the book I held to the bookshelf. "Carlisle, you don't happen to have any methylene blue dye in stock at the clinic, do you?"

He looked at me curiously, "As a matter of fact, I believe we do. And that is all I will say on that subject." He turned paused at the doorway, "Good luck, Edward. And be careful." He walked out.

So we would have to stop by the clinic tonight. Maybe we should give them a day off, give them some time to think they are safe before we strike. And we'll have to plan the next clues to imminent death out a little more carefully, as they will be received during waking hours.

I left the library, thinking how best to get into the clinic's storeroom when I ran into Bella. She looked a little flustered when she ran into me – quite literally, and knocking me back against the wall.

"Oh sorry!" She exclaimed and stepped back, tugging my arm in an attempt to get me upright again.

"It's alright," I reassured her with a smile, "Where were you going in such a rush?"

"Looking for you actually. I remembered how my power shifted last night, and since we're staying in tonight, I wanted to ask if you would help me work on controlling it more." She looked shyly at the floor.

It was a wonder how she could be so confident one moment and so reserved the next. I took in her petite frame and remembered how ferocious she could be as I said, "Of course, Bella. Shall we go to my room?"

Once comfortably seated on my couch beside me, she said, "I think I'm getting better at controlling it. Maybe to the point of not needing gloves anymore." She looked hopeful and held up one bare hand.

I liked where this was heading. Wordlessly I watched my hand reach up and touch hers. I felt the familiar jolt of her skin on mine, but no extraordinary thoughts or memories flew out to me. She intertwined her fingers with mine and smiled. "See?"

I found I couldn't really speak at the moment. So I just nodded as she explained her latest accomplishment.

"My mind was open to anything and everything, which is why the memories can get out. I'm not used to having my mind so open. Then, while I was thinking of something that emotional while also trying to think about what to do next, I was simply thinking too much and my brain got confused and lost control," she struggled to explain. "I mean, I was so confused that I wasn't sure what was good and what was bad, so everything was just kind of loose. Am I making any sense?"

I cleared my throat and found my voice again, fighting not to stare at our hands, still interlocked, and instead met her frustrated gaze. "Actually, you are. I went through a similar thing with my ability. I had to learn how to ignore voices, and how to distinguish what was mine and what was someone else's. Otherwise I would have gone mad."

"I can't imagine," she said, suddenly rubbing her thumb against mine, back and forth, like she wasn't even thinking about it, it was just natural. It felt remarkably nice and made it hard to catch the words falling from her pink lips. "I mean, I'm just trying to keep all of myself in one place, and to do that as well as keep everyone else out…" she trailed off and shifted her hand's position on mine, absently tracing circles on my wrist as her palm rested on mine.

I didn't know what to do. It felt so good, but it couldn't be right. Something that felt that good, that pleasurable, couldn't be _right_.

I took in a haggard breath and she suddenly seemed to realize what she was doing and drew back her hand in shock, horror written in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize what I was doing." She sounded truly apologetic. She wouldn't meet my eyes after she pulled away and began tracing patterns on the couch instead. "I can't imagine what you must think of me."

Only good things, I wanted to say, but somehow the words didn't make it past the end of my tongue.

I tried again, "I could never think ill of you, if that's what you're worried about." Her eyes flashed to mine for an instant before resuming their critique of my couch.

"It relaxes me," she confessed haltingly. "Usually I just use my own hands or arm, but you were just there and I wasn't paying attention," she rambled. It was adorable.

Knowing she had a tight lock on her contact transfers, I cupped the cheek and lifted her face. "Really, it's alright," I said kindly, "You are more than welcome to relax yourself on my hand," I couldn't help but grin.

She drew a deep breath at my forward touch, but returned the smile and picked my other hand back up and began tracing the dark veins in it. I let my unoccupied hand drop from her cheek and leaning back into the couch, completely at ease, reveling in her touch.

"It's good practice for me, too," she continued to ramble on, seemingly more to herself than anyone else, "To keep touching someone instead of just blocking at a planned hand to hand contact. If I'm moving, it's a little more difficult. And if it's _you_, it's even a little more difficult."

"Why's that?" I interrupted, curious. Her hands were still playing with mine, so I wasn't paying completely attention, but that comment about me making things more difficult, well that required further explanation.

She looked sheepish and probably would be blushing if there was enough blood in her system. I don't think she completely realized she was still talking out loud. "I mean," she stammered, "Since you're already so attuned to people's minds, you know exactly what to look for. And I've gotten attuned to you, so it's a little harder to block you out."

"Anyway," she changed the subject abruptly and let go of my hand. I wanted to groan in protest, but managed to restrain myself. I wasn't about to scare the poor girl away. And she certainly was a girl when it came to times like this, times of relaxing when there weren't lives on the line. She continued, "Should we try to test if I can send something without contact?"

"I'm ready when you are."

"What should I send?"

"What are you thinking about now?"

"I'm trying to think of something simple to send, but my mind's blanking. I can't send a blank thought."

"Can't you?" I wondered. "See if you can send a blank thought. If it works, I won't be able to think my own thoughts, yours have always taken precedence."

"Hmm," she cocked her head in thought. "I guess we can try it." She closed her eyes in concentration, and I did the same, so as not to be distracted by the way her full lips set when she was deep in thought.

I needed something to occupy my mind so I could tell when the stupor of thought hit me. Something safe. I settled for translating the Star Spangled Banner into French. I made it through the first two verses before opening my eyes to see if she was still trying – I hadn't felt anything.

Her eyes were no longer closed, either, and she was staring at me. She jumped a little when I opened my eyes to stare back. "How's it going?"

She looked sheepish and admitted, "Not well. I kept having stray thoughts pop into my mind and I couldn't concentrate enough to keep the thought and send it."

"Stray thoughts?" I prompted, but she didn't take the bait.

"Nothing important. Maybe that sort of transference only works when I really need it," she suggested.

"Maybe." I let it go and looked out my window. The sun was setting and the sky was painted beautiful shades of orange and yellow. It would be dark soon, the perfect time to gather some necessary materials for our next adventure. I turned back to Bella, who was also admiring the sunset behind me. The rays of light cast unusual shadows and hues to her face, making her look even more surreally beautiful. I almost didn't want to speak, so as to prolong this moment, but she felt my gaze on her face and smiled self-consciously, asking what I was staring at.

I only shook my head and smiled in answer and asked, "Are you ready to get back to work?"

She grinned, the dangerous light back in her face, "I'm always ready."

Didn't I know it.

The clinic was situated on the west side of town, and it took us a fair amount of time to get there, since it was still early enough for people to be out and about. It wouldn't have helped our cause to wait, because people were always there and always working. It would actually probably make us look more suspicious if it was 3 in the morning.

But before we left, I made Bella put on some make-up and style her hair differently, so she wouldn't be quite so easily recognized. She looked fairly different as it was, since the transformation, but I didn't want to take any chances. She had been well-known and there was a good chance she'd be seen tonight.

"What about you?" She complained, "You're just as recognizable as I am."

"Yes, but my 'cousin' works there." I said smugly. "I can just say I was looking for him. I'm always down there looking for him at odd hours of the night. The staff is used to me."

She grumbled, but left my room to put on the make-up that Esme had picked up for me earlier. When she came back, it was all I could do not to let my jaw drop to the floor and then run up and kiss her right there.

She looked stunning. More beautiful than words could describe. She didn't normally wear any make-up, and when she did, it highlighted all her finer features. Her eyes were even more striking, looking extremely exotic in their ruby red fierceness. Her lashes fluttered almost impossibly long and I wanted to feel them on my face. Her lips were darkened with a deep pink and shimmered ever so slightly.

She chewed on her beautiful lower lip self-consciously as I stared outright at her. "Does it look that bad?"

"Bad?" I asked incredulously, "Bella, you're beautiful! I don't know if this is going to help your disguise or hinder it." I said in a serious tone, only half-joking.

"Why's that?" She looked alarmed.

I stepped closer and lowered my voice, "Because every man that sees you is going to want to steal you away from me."

She shivered slightly, but grinned, delighting me. "Do you really think so?"

"Bella," I wrapped my arms around her, wanting to hold an angel for just a moment, "Of all the things I think, this is, by far, the most certain."


	19. Checking In

_AN: It's another update! Yay. I so don't want to be studying right now. So you get a nice long chapter. Thanks so much for all your fabulous comments and I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to most of them this time. I love how you're all dying for Edward to kiss her. Hehehe. I'm not saying anything. But really, you all are awesome. Please continue the awesomeness._

_Characters to Stephenie Meyer, you know the drill._

_-- _

_Chapter 19_

I reluctantly let go of her and said, "I suppose we should get going. I'm just going to have to keep a closer eye on you." Not that I particularly minded that task.

She grinned ruefully, "I think I'll manage. But I don't mind keeping you close." I grinned back and led her out the door.

We walked at a leisurely pace to the clinic as opposed to our usual mad dash through the night. There were couples strolling along the sidewalk as we passed Main Street, but no one really paid us any attention. In the end, I made Bella put on a hat that effectively concealed half her face. I didn't want to share her beauty with anyone. And I was a little worried about the trouble she could get into, regardless of the fact that she was much more capable of protecting herself now. I didn't know if her emotions would cripple her should anyone try anything when I was distracted or we were separated

The night air was cool and fresh. It had rained just a little earlier in the evening, and the city had that freshly cleaned smell. I could tell instantly as we neared the clinic because it had a sterile scent – all those chemicals and medicines hung in the air. Bella crinkled her nose as we approached.

"I never like the smell of hospitals before. Now it's 100 times worse," She said, uncomfortably.

"Will you be okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I just won't breathe it in, right?" She said and cut off her air flow.

I looked at her curiously. "Where did you learn that trick?"

She had to take in a little air to speak, "From you, actually." I cocked my head in confusion. "I noticed how you would always hold your breath around me when I was human," she explained. "I was always worried you'd pass out from not breathing, but you never did."

"Oh."

We had walked in the front door by then, and I couldn't form a better response. The lady at the reception desk didn't even look up and none of the occupants of the waiting room paid us any attention. They were all too worried about their own loved ones to spare a moment for us.

So we just kept walking. In truth, I didn't really spend that much time here, but I did know my way around. I didn't like the smell any more that Bella did. It was too… synthetic, too unnatural. It stung my nose.

I lead the way to the storeroom, walking naturally, as if I belonged there. I found people generally ignored you if you look like you knew what you were doing and like you're supposed to be doing just that. Most workers here were at the end of their shifts anyway and were just looking forward to going home.

The room was at the back of the hospital and we were in without incident. The room was well stocked, that was for sure. It might take awhile to find what we needed. Especially since…

"What are we looking for again?" Bella asked, scanning the shelves.

I guiltily looked away from her and said, "I'm not exactly sure."

"What?" She exclaimed in a quiet voice, trying not to alert anyone outside that we were in here. "What do you mean, you're not exactly sure?"

"I mean, I know what I'm looking for and what I want, but I'm not sure what it looks like." I explained.

"You don't know what it looks like?" She scoffed.

"Small blue pills?" I said, a little uncertain. That's what I thought they were, anyway.

"Small blue pills," She repeated. "Are you sure?"

No. "Yes, I'm sure." I said, confidence in my face, if not in my voice. "They feed them to patients when the doctors need to check their digestive tracts. Or something like that," I confessed, "I'm not actually sure of their medical purpose. I never bothered to further investigate it."

"Then why do _we_ need them?" She asked, exasperated.

"Just because I don't know their medical purpose doesn't mean I don't know what they do." I said. "I'll explain later, just help me find them."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, but began looking at the little bottles on each shelf. We'd been scanning carefully for a full fifteen minutes before she exclaimed in that same quiet voice, "Here, I think I found it!"

I was at her side in a flash and looked at the bottle she held in her small hands. This was it, I was sure of it, and told her so. "Good job. Now let's get out of here."

She smiled with pride, and then asked, "Can we walk out the same way we walked in?"

"I don't see why not," I shrugged. "No one's paying us any attention and we've been ridiculously lucky so far. Hopefully the luck will hold up."

Amazingly, it did. We simply walked back out and were safely on the streets in no time. Our luck held at least until we were back at home.

I led Bella to the kitchen area as she examined the little bottle. "Now what do we do with these?" She asked, peering inside at the blue tablets.

I rifled through the cupboard, looking for a bowl and our hand grinder. "We grind them up into powder." Ah, there they were.

I pulled them out and set them on the counter. "Would you like to grind, or shall I?" I offered the stone set to her.

She declined, "I've never done it before. I wouldn't know what I'm supposed to be doing. I think I'll just watch."

And watch she did. I could feel her critical eyes on me as I emptied four tablets into the little stone bowl and began smashing them into a fine powder. It made me a little nervous to have her watching so intently. I knew exactly what I was doing, but I wasn't used to having an audience. Especially one that looked like she did, with all her make-up still on.

Once the tablets were sufficiently crushed in a light blue powder the consistency of sugar, I set the grinder down and looked up into Bella's curious eyes. "All done," I announced.

"Why do you have one of those, anyway?" She asked, leaning back. She had leaned closer than I had noticed at first while I had been smashing away.

"Carlisle used to use them for making medicines. Sometimes we live where there aren't nice clinics like there is here, and he works as a sort of medicine man," I explained. "And they're useful for when patients don't want to swallow medicine pills whole."

"Oh," She said, somewhat impressed. "It's still kind of odd to me that he's a vampire doctor. It seems to go against all reason, you know?"

I grinned, "I do know. We like our little ironies. It keeps us entertained."

She eyed the powder again, "So now what do we do?"

"Now," I said, searching the cupboards again, "We find something to put this in and – oh there's one," I reached for a small vial on the top shelf and put it on the counter next to the bowl, "And we pour this in," I did so, "and we're done." I said, putting a stopper in the vial.

"Simple enough," she said with a smile, "But what are you going to do with the powder? And what does that stuff _do_ anyway?"

I grinned, "That's what we'll find out tomorrow around dinnertime."

Dinnertime rolled around quickly and we were stationed at the hotel where Laurent was staying once again. The hotel offered supper services, so he was eating in the dining hall with several other guests. We had waited outside in the shadows until I heard his mind decide he was hungry and he headed down to eat.

This time, it was Bella I was checking into the hotel. I told the owner she was a friend of Carlisle's, coming to visit, but we didn't think it proper for her to stay with us, what with us being around the same age and everything. We wouldn't want rumors to start; this town already had a more than an ample supply of those, especially as of late.

Bella simply stood quietly behind me, her hat on again and obscuring her face, acting the part of the shy visitor. The owner was a kindly old woman and passed me the key to her room, saying, "I hope you enjoy your stay, dear. If you're hungry, we're just serving dinner and it's included in your room package."

She gestured toward to the dining hall, and Bella answered quietly, pitching her voice just a bit higher, "Thank you, ma'am. The Cullens have invited me for dinner already, but perhaps I will take a look around."

And I led her to the dining hall where we pretended to survey the food. Of course, we wouldn't eat anything, we just needed to be in there for a moment. There were only three long tables set up, with sturdy wooden chairs lining each one.

I sought out Laurent instantly, and strode confidently over to his seat, the little vial securely in my left hand. It was only good manners that required me to recognize his presence, and under ordinary circumstances, I might have ignored him, but this social conduct code worked in our advantage this time. "Laurent DuBois, it is good to see you," I said stretching out my right hand to shake his.

He looked up, a little surprised – he hadn't seen me coming. But he politely dabbed his mouth with a napkin and stood to stake my hand firmly. "Edward Cullen, it is a pleasure to see you," he said, and his eyes caught sight of Bella behind me. "What brings you here tonight?"

I stepped aside slightly, to bring Bella forward, her face still partially concealed. "This is a friend of Dr. Cullen's, coming to visit. We thought it more suiting for her to stay here than at our house."

His eyes hungrily took her form in and I used his distraction to empty half of the vial into his tea. It dissolved almost instantly. Perfect.

"A pleasure to meet you, miss." His voice was silky smooth, "What is your name?" He inquired.

I admired Bella as she spoke in that same quiet voice she had used with the hotel owner, giving no sign that knew and hated this man. "Marie Mason, sir" she answered, giving me quite the shock. She had used her middle name with my real name – a name I had only told her once and long ago.

I recovered quickly though, "It was nice to see you again, Laurent, but we must be going. Dr. Cullen is expecting us for dinner." I excused ourselves with a nod to him. He sat down and I could feel his eyes on Bella's back as I lead her away. I struggled to ignore the lewd thoughts circling around in his brain. It would not do us any good to kill him now, I reminded myself, gritting my teeth.

I didn't look at Bella as we headed to James' house, trying to clear the images from my mind, and not having much success. And talk about distracting.

Bella must have misinterpreted my silence, though, and she asked me nervously, "Did I do something wrong?"

I looked over to her, confused for a moment. "No, no, not at all," I assured her in a hurried voice and kept walking forward. "You did perfectly. It's just … his thoughts were a little difficult to deal with. And I didn't like him being so close to you."

She shuddered at the memory and wrapped her arms around herself. "I know what you mean. I didn't like it either."

I kept up the brisk pace, not wanting to dwell on it any longer than necessary. But Bella spoke again, "I was just worried that I offended you. You know, using your name?"

I stopped walking then and she bumped into me, my sudden stop taking her by surprise. I caught her by the wrist before she tumbled back to the ground, and didn't let go once she was steady again. I held her there, looking in her eyes, searching for some sign that she was joking. I couldn't find it.

"You can't be serious." I said doubtfully. When she didn't answer, and didn't look away, I knew she was serious. "Bella, how many times can I tell you that I'm here to protect you, to help you? Even my very name will exist to protect you." I smiled warmly down at her, sincerity ringing in my voice.

She stared back, her eyes full of an emotion I couldn't quite identify – or was I too scared to? I was glad she wore her gloves now, so nothing would seep through that she didn't want me to know, and repeated my mantra of "she's too good for you" over and over again in an effort to keep control.

"We need to keep moving if we're going to get this done tonight," I said gruffly, not quite in control of my voice or emotions. I needed to focus.

"Right." She seemed to mentally shake herself, and repeated, "Right. So. What do I need to do?"

"We need to get this concoction," I held up the now half-empty vial, "into James's drink. This will be a little more difficult, since he's at home and we're both very recognizable this time."

"Well, getting in isn't really a problem. You just need to get that stuff into his drink? And only his drink?"

"Preferably yes. It sends the message that we know exactly how to get to him and only him." I paused thoughtfully, "But if that's not possible, if we just get it into all the drinks, it shows we don't care how many other people get involved."

"I like the first one better," Bella started chewing her lip in thought. I'd noticed her doing that a lot more often. Or maybe it just caught my attention more readily now. Either way, it made it difficult for me to concentrate.

"What if," she began slowly, "we were able to get in and hide somewhere between the kitchen and the dining room and intercepted the meal en route?"

"How can we be sure which one is his?"

"He always drinks red wine with his meals, and only red wine. Those eating with him usually have water or something to drink as well."

I nodded slowly, "It's not a sure-fire way, but it might work."

"Of course, he also eats by himself quite often."

I looked at her sharply, "Why didn't you mention that before?"

She looked innocently back at me, "I thought you knew."

"Well that makes things loads easier. We'll try your plan then."

As we neared the house, I listened intently for who was inside. Our luck continued to hold – he was eating alone tonight. Bella and I slid down the chimney and raced through the house to the hallway separating the dining area from the preparation area. We were quick that anyone we passed felt no more than a light breeze as we ran by, too fast to even see.

There were alcoves in the hallway, situated with window seats and we stood in one, waiting for a maid to pass.

We had misjudged our timing and were standing there a little longer than I would have liked. But then again, my body was pressed against Bella's, shielding her from sight. We were so close that her sweet breath blew my hair back with each time she exhaled, and my breath did the same to the dark strands surrounding her face.

I wished we were like this under much different circumstances, so I could actually enjoy her close proximity to the fullness it deserved. I couldn't look in her eyes standing so close, and had to pretend to be looking down the hallway, or else I'd be completely distracted.

Finally, I could hear the maid with the wine approaching. She carried a platter with an empty glass and a full bottle. I cursed silently. If I poured the powder into the glass, she'd see it before pouring the wine. Now what?

I'd have to let myself be seen. His servants would not recognize me, at least, I hoped not. There was no reason why they should, I very rarely came here.

I finally locked eyes with Bella, trying to warn her that I was about to do something off-script. She nodded just slightly, seemingly catching my warning. I gently pulled back and sat down on the seat, as if I'd been there waiting. As the maid neared, I stood up and Bella moved in a flash so she was out of sight, behind the near wall.

"Excuse me, miss?" I called.

She jumped. "I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see you there. Can I help you?" She struggled to regain her composure and spoke politely.

I walked toward her, "I hate to be rude, but could I trouble you for a drink? I've been speaking with James all evening discussing business plans and I'm parched. I'd just like to wet my palette before leaving, if I could."

She looked flustered. "O-Of course," she stammered out, "Let me fetch you a glass." She flew back into the kitchen and re-emerged a second later with another glass.

"Here, let me pour," I offered, taking the wine bottle from her and pouring myself a glass. She simply stared dumbly at me, not taking her eyes off my face, and I smiled my most charming smile, encouraging the distraction. With her attention properly diverted elsewhere, after I poured my own glass, I emptied the vial into the wine bottle underneath the silver platter she carried.

I set the bottle back on the platter and raised my glass in a toast to her, "Thank you. I don't want to detain you any longer; I'll leave the glass with the manservant at the door." I indicated for her to go on serving her own master. She left without another word, looking slightly stunned.

I turned back to Bella, who was looking oddly smug.

"What is it?" I asked.

She grinned, "I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one you seem to have that effect on."

"What effect?"

"That star-struck dazzled effect where you can't think straight."

I looked at her, curious, "I have that effect on you?" She was wrong, it was the other way around.

Unfortunately, she didn't have the chance to answer. Another maid's footsteps echoed loudly thoughtout the hall and I flattened myself against Bella to hide us from sight as the maid passed by. "It's time to go," I whispered in her ear.


	20. Alley

_AN - Thanks for your fabulous reviews, those of you who did! I haven't been replying, and I'm sorry, but I got kind busier this week than I thought I would be. A lot of you are dying for Edward to make his move. I am entertained by that and am not going to comment any further. I'm also curious to see if anyone's guessed what the blue stuff does. It does in fact exist.  
_

_Funny thing about editing this chapter: you could definitely tell when I was getting excited - typos all over the place. Insane. _

_Also, fair warning, this is the chapter that really creeped my roommate out. So...beware. If you have a weak constitution, proceed with caution._

_Characters to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing with them._

_Please Review!  
_

_-- _

_Chapter 20_

"So," Bella inquired much later, "Are you ever going to tell me what that stuff actually does?"

I couldn't decide which would be more fun – to tell her now and see her reaction, or wait until the rumors had spread and she heard for herself from the grapevine. While it was fun to tease her, I made the mistake of looking directly at her, and she had her pouting face on at full force. And I couldn't refuse that, now could I? Besides, who else would she hear it from?

"It won't actually hurt them," I began, "But it should scare them just a bit."

"Why, what's it going to do, turn their skin blue?" I grinned widely and she looked shocked. "It doesn't actually, does it?"

"No, but close enough."

She eyed me warily. "What does it do, really?"

"They'll find out the next time they need to … relieve themselves." My grin widened ever further at the expression on her face as comprehension dawned on her. She looked somewhere between a cross of horrified and delighted. Then her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Wait, what medical purpose could that possibly serve?"

"The blue dye shows up on a special x-ray machine, showing any problems with the digestive tract. Then as it exits the system, the resulting waste is also a lovely shade of blue. It's very new and very experimental, we're lucky Carlisle's clinic is one of the best in the country."

She giggled. It was such a beautiful sound that I couldn't help but truly smile.

The fruits of our labors ripened early the next day. Laurent had flown into a rage and created quite the ruckus at the inn as he demanded to know why he was "pissing blue," as scandalized guests reported. The inn's owner had no answer for him, as none of the other customers had mentioned such a thing.

His uproar started one rumor after another. The general public hadn't made the connection, but that didn't mean that he had not. I heard he hired a taste tester to make sure none of the food was lethally poisoned. A fairly useless gesture, since poison could take several hours to take effect. The dye, for example, took about six.

James was a little more discreet, but he had undeniably made the connection. He wouldn't leave his house and had fired the entire staff, taking on a select group of body guards and a few necessary servants. Another fairly useless gesture, as now none of the workers knew each other. They were less likely to trust one another, and more likely to make mistakes because of it.

However, that was something we could use to our advantage later.

For now, we needed to focus on Laurent. He had switched hotels to an inn just down the street, so he was still in close proximity to the bar. He still went out drinking each night, but came home early. He would only eat food from the bar or what he personally saw prepared at the inn.

We decided to approach him during his nightly stroll.

We had also decided to make this one look like it was definitely an attack, and no suicide. James would need to know for certain that we were coming for him, and that he could not hide.

The night was cool, and it was drizzling just a little. A light fog covered the lowest part of the city, and lucky for us, that was just where the bar was situated.

It was a little superfluous, having the weather on our side – if we didn't want him to see us, he simply would not see us. We were much too fast for him to catch us. But it was still a nice effect.

So Bella and I were waiting in an alley for him to pass us by, leaning against a brick wall in the shadows. We had watched him go past earlier, on his way to get drunk, and were starting to get bored waiting for him to come back. How long does it take the man to get intoxicated? His tolerance must be through the roof with the way he downs beer like water.

"Psst, Edward," Bella hissed at me. Slightly unnecessarily as I was the only one she could be talking to, and I could hear her perfectly. "Distract me."

"Pardon?"

"Distract me," she repeated, her voice slightly strained. "There are too many people too close and I'm getting thirstier and thirstier the longer we wait here."

Oh. _Oh._ That made sense. I was slightly ashamed the way my mind initially headed. Incredible the way a male mind can think of those things even in situations like this.

"How would you like me to distract you?" My voice came out a little huskier than I anticipated; apparently it was still on the previous mind-track.

"Touch me." _What? _"Take my hand so I can focus on keeping control. I won't be able to think about anything else."

Oh. Wow, if I hadn't already realized how bad I had it for this girl, this would have been one sure-fired way to let myself know.

So I leaned my hand against hers, mine palm facing up and hers on top of it, my skin tingling slightly. I kept my gaze on the wall across from us and began counting bricks. One, two, three…

"Edward," she whispered through the darkness, "Do you feel anything from me?"

Not in the sense she was talking about. I whispered back, "No, all I feel is you."

"Ok." She didn't sound as happy about that as I thought she would. There was a deep underlying of some emotion in that simple 'ok' and it sounded suspiciously like sadness. Did I answer wrong? "I'm going to try something new."

She was silent for a moment. Then a heard her voice, but it wasn't the normal bell-like sound of her voice. It was as if I was calling back a memory, like she was simply an echo.

'Can you hear me?' It asked in a very small voice.

"I heard that," I said softly. "But it wasn't like the last time when you were just flinging words at me. It felt controlled. Like I was just remembering you saying it earlier."

"Good," She spoke aloud. "That's what I was trying to do, to just speak and not throw words or a memory. I think I'm getting better at this"

She didn't speak again for a moment, but didn't move either. I didn't know if she was done with her experiments for the night, or what she was doing, so I didn't let go either.

Slowly then, her fingers intertwined with mine and she let her arm fall loose. Surprised by the sudden pull, my hand fell loose, too, and together they rested against the cool brick. It suddenly felt a lot less like an experiment and a lot more like a thing couples did.

She spoke through my mind again and I couldn't tell if it was really her or if it was my imagination. "Can we just stay like this? I feel… relaxed."

I didn't want to break the easy silence that had fallen over us, so I just squeezed her hand and resumed counting bricks, my mind only half heartedly in the job, distracted by the angel's hand in mine.

We stood like that for at least an hour, waiting for Laurent. When I could finally hear his drunken mind approaching, I released Bella's hand and whispered, "He's coming. Are you ready?"

She nodded, not making a sound, eyes bright with anticipation. The alley was so similar to the one Bella had been attacked in that we thought it would provide an excellent backdrop to her memory transplant, but I had worried about the effect it would have on her. She seemed to be doing quite well.

Maybe she was right, saying that this release of the memory was therapeutic for her. I still hated that she had to be a part of it, though.

Laurent rounded the corner, just about to pass in front of the alley's mouth where we were crouched, muscles tense and ready to spring. Just a few more steps and he would be where we wanted him.

One.

Two.

Three.

I lunged out and caught him from behind, pinning his arms and dragged him into the shadows. I was hidden, but he faced the street and could still see by the light of the streetlamp.

Bella stood in his place, where he had been just a split second before.

He recognized her in an instant, but not as Bella, as Marie, the girl he met at the hotel. His confusion was overwhelming.

But then Bella took off her wide-brimmed hat and her red eyes sparkled in the light. I thought they were beautiful. Laurent thought there were exotic.

Until the flash of real recognition hit him and the fear took hold. He started fighting against my iron grip as Bella walked forward, step by step approaching him ever so slowly.

"Remember me?" She purred. He shook his head, lying through his teeth, sputtering out pleas to let him go. His mind thought he was so drunk he was seeing ghosts.

"I think you'll find that you do," she continued in that soft, silky voice, standing directly in front of him. I could detect the cool as iron vein of hate woven through it, though the man I was holding was much too inebriated to really comprehend anything.

Bella reached out her arm as if to stroke his face. He liked that. My jaw tightened as I struggled not to rip his arms right off.

Just before her hand touched his grisly cheek, her eyes flickered to mine, as if I was her anchor. She looked into me as the images flew from her mind with full force at the creature I held captive.

He stopped struggling to break free and simply went limp. Not limp as in a man who has given up, but as a man who was conserving energy, knowing he would need it in a moment. He was waiting for the memory to finish.

I found solace in Bella's eyes as I relived the memory for a third time, gritting my teeth as I heard the man's reactions to the images he was seeing, the moment he was living. Her eyes were trained on me still, and we clung to each other in that moment, each of us needing to see the other, needing to know we were there together.

At least, that was how I felt.

My temper started to boil though, as the man did not crumble when the memory was done. He stood straight up, still restrained, but suddenly sobered.

"So what?" He said without shame. "It's her own fault. She was asking for it."

_Now_ it was time to kill him.

I wanted him to die slowly. I wanted him to feel fear. I wanted him to suffer like he had made others suffer. Others, plural, for I knew he had done the same thing to several other unsuspecting young women. I could see the thoughts reply in his mind like a vicious cycle of pain. Each girl had died after what he had done to them. He saw it as their own weakness - they got was what coming to them, in his words.

Well, now it was time for him to get what was coming to him.

My vice-like grip tightening until he could just barely get enough breath in his lungs to remain conscious. I held on with one arm and wrapped the other around to pull one hand in front of his face. I broke each finger, one at a time, waiting for him to cry out in pain, or to beg me to stop like so many of his victims had begged him.

He didn't make a sound. He body shook with each dull crack, but no noise escaped his filthy lips.

His right hand now useless, I worked my way up. Crack, his forearm fractured, crack, his upper arm, too. Crack, shoulder dislocated.

Still no sound, but he was shaking harder now. I couldn't tell if he was trying to get away, or if it was fun the pain.

I switched hands and went through the same motions, waiting, carefully not exerting enough power that any bone broke through the skin, making him bleed. Bella wouldn't be able to handle and freshly spilt blood.

I watched her now, as I went through the circuit. Her eyes were hard and full of hate. I wondered distantly if she knew how much pain this man had inflicted. She stared ahead, seeing, but not seeing, it seemed.

The man still did not make a sound. Both arms were now useless, for fighting, working, or any use he could think of. I threw him on the cold concrete and he lay still for a brief second before struggling to raise himself. I kicked him over, so his face was crushed against the ground, and began working on his legs.

Crack, crack, crack, the left leg was debilitated. Still no sound from him, but he stopped trying to get away. He seemed to realize there was no escape from this demon in the night.

Crack, crack, crack, now the right leg. Why won't you make a sound?! I was getting angrier and angrier, finding it harder and harder to not spill any blood. But I didn't want any of this foul creature inside of me any less than Bella.

Bella, who was still staring through the darkness at this broken man who was still refusing to let us break his spirit.

"Would you like to do the honors?" I growled low at her, the man couldn't hear, and nodded my head in the direction of the man's groin. The source of all his problems.

She looked at me, finally seeing, her lips taut. Wordlessly she strode over, almost gently nudging the man onto his back.

Then she stomped so hard that even I had to flinch.

The man screamed.

She proceeded to kick him until each and every single bone in his body was broken, her righteous anger taking over. Lastly she broke his neck and the shrill screams broke off abruptly as the last bits of life left his body.

We both stood still as statues, drinking in victory since we would not and could not drink his blood.

Then I gathered up his mangled body and dumped him into a burlap bag so we could carry it back to his hotel room.

We snuck through Bella's rented room window, which she had left open earlier that day. From there, we picked the lock again and I laid him on his bed as if he were merely sleeping. They would find him in the morning and raise an alarm.

We locked the door and snuck out from his window to Bella's closing it and locking it from the outside by catching the latch with a stick. Now it would seem even more mysterious – a man was locked in his room, and was found in the morning with every bone in his body broken.

Once back in Bella's room I turned and asked, "Do you want to stay here tonight? Or do you want to come back with me?"

She bit her lip. "I think, I want to stay here tonight. Just in case, you know?"

In case of what? Laurent was clearly dead. She had nothing to fear from him.

Was she afraid of me, then? Had I been wrong to have her with me, have her watch me break him? I tried not to let my confusion and – I'll admit – hurt show, but the ever perceptive Bella saw it.

Se rushed ahead to speak then, "Just in case someone comes bursting into my room once they find him dead, I don't want them to find an empty room. It would look suspicious."

Oh. I felt slightly stupid. Still, I wasn't keen on the idea of leaving her alone.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Will you be alright alone?"

"Actually," she nervously looked down, "I was going to ask if you would maybe stay with me."

Really? I didn't say it out loud, but I had to catch myself. "Of course, Bella. All you ever have to do is ask and I'd do anything for you."


	21. Morning After

_AN - Hey again, and thank so much for your wonderful reviews! I'm glad I'm not the only one who enjoyed watching Laurent get tortured like that. I had way too much fun with that part. And for the record, yes I have watched the MTV coverage and am pretty much going to melt into a pile of useless goo at the movie theatre. _

_Today's chapter is a bit shorter, and I apologize in advance. I might print it out and come back to add more, but for now, here's what you get. Please don't hate me. :) _

_Characters to SM, as always._

_--_

_Chapter 21_

_I am so whipped_, I thought to myself as I raced home to let Carlisle and Esme know where we were. I wanted to get in and out of that house as fast as possible, so I could get back to Bella's side.

My foster parents didn't put up any argument, they just nodded and told me to be careful. They were genuine, their thoughts were only worried for our safety, they didn't feel the need to dwell on why we weren't going to be coming home, nor did they feel the urge to lecture me about morality. We had our own rules to live by. Well, live in a theoretical sense. Our rule was that if we felt like we were in the right, and that we could live with ourselves after we had done whatever we were debating, then we would be ok.

We tried to follow human rules as much as possible, but sometimes it just isn't feasible. Or in this case, desirable. Never being held accountable for your actions except by oneself tends to change the perspective.

I zipped back to the hotel, carefully sticking to the shadows. I heard the briefest whispers on the streets about the screams that Laurent had so deliciously produced for us. Several men had run to the site where the screams were heard from, but there was nothing to be found. Of course there wouldn't be. A vampire as old and practiced as I am does not leave a trace.

Bella's window was still open and I climbed through it. She was lying on the bed, seemingly pretending to sleep again. She must have heard me come in and opened one eye. She patted the space next her and, closing her eyes again, said, "Come sit by me."

Who was I to object? I closed the window behind me and sat next to her, one leg crossed in front of me and the other still hanging off the side of the bed. "Are you trying to sleep again?" I guessed softly, looking down at her small form curled up beside me.

She sighed and opened her eyes, but didn't look up to meet me, "No. I was trying to wipe that memory away. Of tonight. I don't want that man in my head."

"I'm sorry," I said, truly feeling it, "I wish I could take it away from you. But you'll find your vampire memory is perfect. We never forget."

"Never forget? Anything?"

"Well," I sighed, "Memories you acquired as a human will fade away with enough time, since they were formed before you were changed. Your brain works a little differently now."

She smiled wryly, "I noticed." She looked down at her hands, the hands that transferred her pain and memories away.

For what I did next, I can only say it came from the after-thrill of the hunt, and the stillness of the night, and knowing that we were completely alone. In any other circumstances, I would have to remember to keep my distance, to remain proper and upright. And distance, that ever important distance that was rapidly becoming less and less important. I wanted nothing more than to be near to her.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed softly, and lifted one hand to stroke her hair.

It was as soft as I had imagined it, like the downy of a newborn chick. Its rich brown strands curled gently at the ends, from where she'd had it pinned up all day. It was luxurious, and unbelievably relaxing to just run my hands from start to finish.

She reacted well. She startled at first, her eyes flashing up to mine for the briefest of moments, but then she just sort of settled down to my ministrations. Her eyes drifted shut and her muscles relaxed from their tense curl. She was loose, comfortable.

Gradually, she inched closer, leaning into my hand so I could better reach. Soon her head was resting in my lap, and I leaned back against the headboard, stroking this gentle beauty.

My bare hand would touch her scalp now and then, but even in her relaxation, she had her firm wall up and I didn't get anything she didn't want me to get. But it was also then that I noticed I didn't feel the shock of her skin against mine. It was more of a release.

It was like I had been holding my breath, and by touching her I could release it, I could breath in and out properly. It felt so comfortable and natural that I could not believe it. I'd never felt like that before, I'd never known someone who could put me at ease simply by touching me.

It felt good.

I never wanted to move. And until sunrise, I got my wish.

Not long after the sun had broken past the horizon, a shrill shriek pierced the air. The maid sent to wake Laurent up had found his body.

"They're coming to check on you," I whispered quickly and regretfully stood from my comfortable position. "It's time to wake up."

"What should I do?" She asked, looking a bit flustered. Even after not spending the night not sleeping, she still was clearly not a morning person.

"Act surprised. Tell them to call for me, and I'll come get you. Say you think it's too dangerous here or something."

"You won't take long will you?" She looked anxious. I couldn't understand why, she was more than capable of doing this.

"You won't have time to miss me," I smiled, and emboldened by the night I'd just spent so close to her, took her left hand, and bent over it, pressing my lips against it gently. "I'll even beat the message." I smiled again and jumped out the window, running just far enough away to be in human hearing range of the shriek so that I had an excuse for rushing back.

I didn't look at Bella's face before I left, but I knew mine was radiant with the thought that I had just kissed her hand.

I ran in through the front door of the inn, only to be greeted by the startled innkeeper.

"Edward Cullen! What are you doing here so early?" She looked frazzled.

"I was coming to fetch Marie for breakfast and heard a scream on my way over, so I rushed here as fast as I could." I switched to Bella's fake name. I still hadn't asked her about that… "Has something happened?" I feigned a worried expression.

"Never mind all of that. Go tend to Miss Marie. She must be beside herself with fright."

"What happened? Please tell me," I urged. I wanted to have a legitimate reason for knowing all that I did. I rarely made the mistake of saying too much, but it never hurt to have a buffer.

"Oh, I suppose you'll hear it all soon enough. It's terrible," she said wringing her hands, "Mr. Laurent was found this morning stone cold dead."

"No," I gasped, hiding my delight.

She nodded, excited to share this juicy bit of gossip firsthand, "And what's more, it's seems as if every bone in his body was broken. But he was locked in his room! There was no way for anyone to get in and out of there, and he couldn't have done that to himself!"

"Is everyone else alright?"

She saw through my question, "Miss Marie is a little frightened, but other than that perfectly alright."

I excused myself and jogged up the stairs to Bella's room, where she was pacing anxiously. I'd only been gone a moment, but it felt so much longer. I took her hands in mine, once again feeling the release that simply being near her seemed to provide me.

"Are you alright?" I asked, partially for the sake of our audience – the maid was still standing in the doorway, making sure Bella was calming down - and partially for true worry. I had never seen her acting skills before and I couldn't tell if the worry etched on her face was real or not.

It turns out that she was a lousy actress. I felt the briefest prick of fear at her touch before she could cover it up, and she didn't relax even after the maid left.

"Bella, what's the matter? I'm here now, we're okay." I was truly baffled as to what could have upset her so much.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm just being silly," she tried unsuccessfully to reassure me.

Bella," I said, having none of that. I turned her face to mine, only a few inches separated us. "Tell me."

"You'll laugh at me."

"I highly doubt that." She still didn't say anything. It was unbearable, not knowing what was causing her pain. "Speak, Bella."

She tore her gaze away from mine, focusing on her hands. "I was worried about you," she finally admitted in a small voice.

"About _me?_" That was not the response I was expecting.

"You could have been seen in the wrong place or not seen in the right place or they wouldn't buy your story for how you got here so fast or you'd run off or I don't know," she babbled off, somewhat incoherently.

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh just a little. She tried to step away, indignant, but I tightened my grip on her wrists. "I'm sorry Bella," I apologized, a smile still on my lips. "It's just that you're worrying about the wrong things, if you need to be worrying at all."

I loosened my grip and moved to hold her tightly clenched hands. I lightly kissed her knuckles again. "You only need to be worried about yourself. My only worry is about you."

She didn't have anything to say to that, but she stopped struggling to get away from me and stood stock still, staring up at me, trying to see if I was really telling the truth. I was, of course, so there was nothing for her to see but pure sincerity.

The easy silence between us was broken with a loud commotion just outside the door. The police had arrived to investigate the scene next door. The police…oh no! Bella's father! He would recognize her instantly, blowing everything. Bella felt me tense up and it was her turn to pester me with questions asking what was wrong.

"We need to get out of here." I said stiffly. "And quickly."

I waited just long enough for Chief Swan to enter the room next door before we exited our own. With a hurried explanation to the innkeeper that, given the circumstances "Marie" would be staying at our home and there was no need to hold the room for her any longer. The innkeeper nodded in understanding, but couldn't keep the thoughts of disappointment from her mind as business flew out the door.

We made it home, and the latest gossip seemed to beat us there.

Esme gathered us both up in her arms, "Are you both alright?"

"We're fine, Mother," I said with a grin. "How did you find out so fast?"

She let go of us, "Carlisle was working at the clinic and a call came in when someone heard screaming. The rescue team has been out all night looking for the source and Carlisle was covering their shifts, since he was too valuable to be out wandering the streets."

"Hmm. They didn't find anything, of course, though. Did they?"

"No, nothing. They're all completely baffled."

"Good." I looked at Bella. She looked very tired but still high-stung with nerves. I turned back to Esme, "I think we're going to take a break for awhile and go running."

"Be careful not to be seen." She cautioned, "It's cloudy out, but still bright enough to see you."

I waved that off and turned to Bella, "Are you ready for a jog?"

She smiled, her face lighting up, "Yes, please!"

We headed into the woods, sprinting at full speed, releasing all the pent-up energy and nerves. The rushing wind against our faces seemed to whip away our concerns and it was just the two of us, running free.


	22. Train

_AN – Here you go, a really long chapter because I didn't feel like fleshing out the two shorter chapters it used to be. And I want to finish this thing this week, so…keep an eye out for more updates. Also, I hope you like this chapter. Especially the end part. :D_

_Characters to SM no copyright enfringement intended._

_-- _

_Chapter 22_

We returned from the run fresh and rejuvenated a few hours later. It was still daylight and I supposed I should make an appearance in town, so that I wasn't seen as a complete recluse. People tended to be more suspicious of those they rarely saw or did not know existed previously.

Unfortunately, this meant I would have to leave Bella alone, because there was no way she could come into town with me. Even as Marie Mason, she still looked like Bella Swan to anyone who knew her at least a little.

"It will just be a few hours," I reassured her as I rummaged through my closet for a more suitable jacket.

"I know," she sighed, "And I'm sure I'll be fine. But what I am going to do while you're away?"

"Spend some time with Esme," I suggested, "I'm sure she'd love that. She could help you practice with your control, even. It will be good for you to practice with someone other than me." Even if I didn't especially like the idea of her touching anyone else – even if it was only Esme.

She looked thoughtful. "Maybe I will."

I bid her goodbye, kissing the back of her right hand in farewell. She seemed less shocked each time I did this, and did not seem to be offended in any way. In fact, I might even go as far as to say she enjoyed it, if I were to be overly bold and optimistic. I smiled.

"In a few hours," I said, walking out the door.

"A few hours," she repeated softly back at me, and lifted her right hand to her lips, a motion I did not think she intended for me to see and one I dared not try to interpret.

Once in town, I focused on the job at hand – seeing and being seen. I stopped at the local café, ordering a small cup of coffee and sat at a window seat. I unloaded some papers from my briefcase I had brought along as a prop. These papers were for business negotiations that didn't exist, but no one knew that. And they gave me the perfect excuse to sit in a café for hours, not noticing as my coffee grew cold and therefore undrinkable, thereby excusing me of drinking the vile liquid in the first place.

I watched the other customers out of the corners of my eyes. I could hear each of them perfectly, of course, but I wanted to see them, too, to know which faces were coming with which thoughts. And I needed to always use the corners of my eyes, never looking at someone straight-on, that was a basic rule. Most people can almost always sense when people are staring – or even looking – at them, and will turn to see who is doing it. And I didn't want to attract any awkward attention to myself. Rich young gentlemen don't go around staring at people in cafes, after all.

Unfortunately, I have a knack for catching unwanted attention. Unwanted in the sense of the local unattached young ladies, that it.

"Oh, look at that, it's Edward Cullen!" I heard a high pitched voice squeal upon entering the little shop. Jessica Stanley, the girl from the ball that seemed ages ago approached me, all smiles and giggles. I wanted to throw up, but had to settle for simply standing as she approached me. "How are you?" She squealed with a polite little curtsy.

"As well as can be expected, thank you."

"Did you hear what happened this morning?" She said, looking slightly scandalized and helped herself to the seat across from me, "About the man in the inn?"

"Only a little. My cousin's friend was staying there, and when I went to fetch her this morning, there was a big commotion. Have they found anything more to trace back to the culprits?" I sat, slightly put out that I would be getting information I needed from _her_.

She shook her head, eyes wide with excitement, "Not a clue! Everyone is completely stumped!" How would she react if she knew she was talking to the very culprit everyone was hunting down, I wondered.

"What is being done?" I inquired, curious to know what forces I would need to avoid.

"Well," she began in a well-informed tone, "They started a search party last night after they heard the screaming. The medical team, I mean. They were out looking for whoever could have caused that kind of a scream. But they didn't find anything, and they called off that search when Mr. Laurent was discovered this morning. They figured that whoever heard the screaming coming from across town must have heard Mr. Laurent's screams echoed somehow. But no one else in the hotel heard him. So they're truly puzzled." She finally took a breath before continuing, "Now they've combed the bedroom, looking for any clues to lead back to the attacker, or the weapons, or motive, or anything really, at this point."

"And they've found nothing?" I mused. "How are people taking this turn of affairs?"

"Well, several families are talking about leaving the city for awhile, until things settle down. After that Swan girl died, it seems like there's been one bad thing happening after another. Some say her ghost had come back to haunt the town." She whispered the last like a secret, like the ghost could overhear her and decide to target her next. I almost laughed at the thought as Bella as a ghost, covered in a white sheet with rattling chains. She would make a horrible ghost. She was much too much like an angel to pass for a ghost.

"Is that so?" I said instead.

"Yes. Even James, her ex-fiancé seems to believe in that. They say he's locked himself up in his house until he can make plan to leave. I heard he's going to leave town as soon as possible for New York City and work on some business there."

This caught my attention. "Really?" I said concerned, "When do you think he'll be leaving? I had some business to clear up with him and I hoped to get in done in the next week or so."

She shrugged, "I'm not sure, but I heard he was wrapping all his loose ends here as quickly as possible. I would guess he could leave as early as tomorrow."

Well that sped things up a bit. "Really…" I repeated, more thoughtful this time, as I tried to map out the best course of action from here. I might have to go back home earlier than I thought to hash out some finer details. The game would change if James left. We would both be in unfamiliar territory. I would still have the natural advantage, but it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying.

"I'm afraid I must go," I said standing up. Jessica looked scandalized that I should leave so soon. "I need to find out when he's leaving so I can tie up some loose ends of my own. Do excuse me," I gathered my papers up, gave a little bow, and left. She was still sitting in her chair across my table, watching me leave, not quite believing that I had disappeared so quickly.

I stopped by the inn to see if there had been any news or developments or gossip of any kind, but there was nothing new. So I walked the streets for a brief time, mulling over the possibilities of how to attack James before heading back to my home. Once I decided I had been seen by enough people, I set off, still not quite decided what to do. Perhaps Bella would have a better perspective of how James would act.

Even the thought of her name connected to his left a bad taste in my mouth.

When I got home, I was greeted by the sight of her and Esme sitting in the living room, chatting pleasantly. They really did get along quite well, and Esme took to her just as if she were part of the family. It made me glad Bella had someone female to talk to, someone who wasn't as bubble-headed as the females in town. Even when said females did turn out to be quite helpful and informative, they didn't even realize what they were doing, and therefore, still bubble-heads.

"There's been a minor set-back," I announced by way of greeting. The two females looked up, surprised.

"Set-back? What kind of set-back?" Bella asked, worry immediately setting in on her delicate features.

"It looks like James is about to leave town for New York City. He's put two and two together and decided to run for it."

Bella's eyes darkened. "He would," she muttered. I raised an eyebrow at this, and she elaborated, "He was always getting out of things, like planning meetings, rehearsals, all of that wedding stuff." She looked disgusted as she spat the final two words.

"Then it looks like we have a train to catch."

xxx

I quickly packed some bags for us with fresh changes of clothes in case we were gone for an extended period of time. We didn't really get dirty, since our skin doesn't produce the usual oils a human does, but I usually liked to wear a fresh set of clothes everyday, and Bella wasn't used to living as a non-human.

"We'll pretend we're taking you back home, since the recent attack has made the city too dangerous for someone unfamiliar with it," I said as we rushed to the train station. "And I'm accompanying you just in case any thing should happen along the way."

She nodded in understanding. "What are we going to do once we get him on the train?"

"I haven't really gotten that far yet," I admitted. "I was hoping you would have some more insight as far as that subject was concerned."

She rolled her eyes, "Let's focus on getting on the right train, then, first, and then we can figure something out from there."

"Agreed."

I arranged for a carriage to come pick us up and drive us to the train station, with one small stop on the way – James' mansion.

"He has already left, sir," the maid who answered the door replied when I inquired after her master. "I believe he said he was going to catch the evening train tonight."

"Thank you," I said a little frustrated, "I'm on my way myself, to deliver my cousin back to her family, and was hoping to catch the same train to hash out those last business plans." I explained. "You're sure he's leaving on the night train to New York City?"

"Quite sure, sir."

"Thank you," I said again, "I should hurry then, if I want to catch that train."

I hurried back to the carriage in the driveway and instructed the driver to go to the train station as fast as he could. The evening train usually left about 5:00, and it was 4:00 now. It took at least twenty to thirty minutes to get there, and I didn't know if the seats were all sold out.

"He's leaving on the evening train," I explained to Bella in a hushed voice, "We don't have time to hunt again before boarding. Will you be alright?"

She nodded, confidently, "I'm getting better at thinking of other things to distract me. And if all else fails, I have also gotten quite good at holding my breath, if I do say so myself." She grinned.

"That's my girl," I couldn't help but grin back.

At the train station, I paid the driver well and we rushed to the ticket booth. After waiting and waiting in line, we finally reached the front to find an incredibly disagreeable old lady, who berated us for ten minutes for putting off buying tickets so late.

"You young couples, off to elope, never planning ahead," She complained, grabbing my money and making change. I decided to ignore that remark. More importantly, I decided to ignore how that remark made my ice-cold body feel warm all over.

However, we were in luck; there was a box seat still available. The last one, if the woman's annoyed mutterings were any indication. After I paid for it and we gathered our things, we finally boarded the train with ten minutes to spare.

We found our box – the third car, room seven and I slid open the wooden door, bags in one hand, door handle in the other.

And there was James, looking cool as can be, looking up with a bemused smile on his lips.

"It's about time you arrived. I was so worried you wouldn't make it in time."

I bristled and soundlessly dropped the bags in my left hand, freeing myself should I need to fight or defend Bella on instinct. This wasn't entirely necessary, as I wasn't threatened by this mere human in the least. But when you hate a man with as much passion as I did, it was easy to let the hackles rise.

"How did you know I was coming?" I said stiffly, standing in the doorway and carefully blocking Bella from his view. She was so far outside the door that I didn't think James even realized I had a companion with me. His thoughts were clouded, confused, and I couldn't read anything from them.

"My maid sent a message ahead to let me know you were looking for me." He replied smartly and unruffled.

"How kind of her," I tried to smooth my voice out, it sounded fair too angry at the moment. He had no reason to suspect me. At least that was what I thought.

"Yes, it was," he agreed. "However, I don't seem to recall being in the middle of a business transaction with you, Mr. Cullen. Remind me again why you were so desperate to see me before I left?"

I cursed mentally. "I was going to propose a merger of sorts, an investment in some of your stock," I bluffed.

"Come in and let me hear about it," he said, still clearly at ease. "We're in for a long trip, and might as well get comfortable."

I balked, what to do with Bella? He saw my hesitation, and looked at me curiously. It was then he finally caught sight of Bella's shadow that fell behind me.

He stood up, "I do beg pardon, I didn't realize you were traveling with anyone."

"Yes," I said cautiously, "My cousin was visiting, but thought it best to return home after the latest incidents in town. I came along to insure her safe travel and hope that I would run into you."

"Then by all means, please get settled in first," he stood up. "Come by my box later, I'm just in the next car over, box number three."

I backed out of the doorway, putting my body between his and Bella's, still blocking him from seeing her properly. There was no way he would not recognize her, and that would get very messy, very fast.

"But Edward," he whispered, "Don't think I don't know what you're up to, and that I'll go easy on you, just because you have a lady friend with you."

And with that enigmatic parting, he disappeared out the car door.

"What was that about," Bella whispered nervously. I shushed her and pulled her into the box, easing the door shut behind us.

"I have no idea," I admitted. "But we've lost all element of surprise now that he knows we're here and right where we're at. This is not looking so good."

Bella set her luggage on the rack above her head and than sat herself on the bench, looking up at me nervously. "What do we do?"

I sat across from her and took her hands in mine, trying to massage them reassuredly. "We'll think of something. Don't worry. What is one human to two vampires?"

"But he didn't look scared," she argued. "Wasn't that the whole point?"

"He's running isn't he? That's got to be something."

"I don't know if it is," she said, biting her lip, which was still rather distracting, despite the circumstances.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, he hasn't become the financial tycoon that he is by pure luck, he is a master manipulator." She looked at me pointedly, "How do you think he ever convinced my father to let me marry so young?"

"So what are you saying," I was confused. "Do you think he's up to something?"

"I hate to say it, but yes." She looked very anxious, and I moved to sit beside her, her hands still in mine. Nothing leaked through her lace gloves, but I could read her face easily. She was worried about the wrong things again.

"Bella. Don't worry. Again, we're two vampires against one measly human. What could he possible do to hurt us?" Besides mentally torture her, but I wasn't about to mention that. "And he won't hurt you, he doesn't even know who you are now. He thought I was alone. Now he probably thinks I just picked you up along the way or something."

She made a face, but the tension in her shoulders didn't lesson.

"Bella, I promise you we will be alright."

"It's not me I'm worried about," she admitted.

I laughed, "And I'm not worried about me, so what's the problem?"

"I'm being serious here," she said, pouting just a little angrily.

"I know," I sighed, "I just wish you weren't."

"You don't want me to worry about you?" She asked, hurt clearly written on her face.

"No," I said gently, "Only about yourself. You are the most important thing to me." This was as close to a confession that I dared to get.

I think she got the point, though. Her eyes widened. "Do you really mean that?" she asked, her voice slightly incredulous.

I chuckled, "Of course I do, Bella. Do you have any idea how much you have changed my life around? For the better," I added quickly, lest she get the wrong idea. "You've given my existence meaning. I have something to protect, something dear to me."

This was probably horrible timing, but it seemed like this declaration wasn't going to wait any longer. So there it was, out in the open. I waited for a response, tense and nervous. I stood and started to pace in the small box.

"You know, I feel the same about you," she said in a small, clear voice, standing as well. "You've shown me that … that love can really exist."

I inhaled sharply and faced her, "Do you really mean that?"

She pulled off her lace gloves, laid them on the bench and put both her hands to my face. The instant she touched me I could feel her mind flowing into me, like she was the ocean crashing over my shore, completing me, almost overwhelming me with her power and beauty.

I felt pure love and trust from her. Her eyes sparkled as I marveled at what she was doing to me. Could this be real? Could this really be happening to me? And _now_, of all times.

_To hell with it_, I thought and I seized my moment.

With hand wrapped tightly around her waist and the other against her neck, I crushed my lips to hers in a hungry kiss. The connection of emotion intensified fifty fold as my lips touched hers and I was blinded by the light of her love. I had never realized she felt that strongly – and about me of all people! I couldn't believe it.

I pulled back, breathing heavily. Her breathing was pretty labored as well, I noted happily.

"Wow," she whispered.

"Yeah."

"I never knew it could feel like that."

I touched my lips to hers again, and whispered against them, "Me neither."

Her guard was completely down and I could not doubt her feelings for me, as unbelievable as they seemed. The phrase "I love you" drifted across her mind more than once and I didn't know how to respond.

I kissed her forehead lightly, "You are my life now."

She smiled, "I told you you would trust me someday."

I grinned at the memory, "I was a fool not to believe you."

I wanted to stay with her, but I forced mysely to very relectuntly pull away, and sighed. "I should really go see what he knows."

Her face fell and I could feel her disappointment through our connection still. Her walls weren't back up. "Now?"

I chuckled, "Yes, now." I kissed her forehead again, "You'll still be here when I get back, right?"

"Of course."

"Then there's not a problem."

She pouted and I wanted to seize her bright pink lips with my own, but knew that if I started again, I probably wouldn't stop.

We could save that for later.


	23. Surreal

_Author's Note: Alright, friends, here it is, the last chapter. It was really hard to write, and I hope it doesn't let you down. I can't believe it's done. And today, my 22nd birthday, it is my gift to all you amazing people who read and review and are just awesome. Over 100 people have faved this as I post this chapter, which is so amazing to me, since this is my first completed story, and by far the longest. So thank you! If all of you could do me a huge favor and let me know what you thought, I would be so happy. And the other 100+ people watching this, let me know what you thought! I'd love to hear from all of you!_

_Also, I am working on another project, which I think is turning out to be really promising, called 'Love is Watching Someone Die.' I'm stll debating on how to post it, so if you could vote in the poll on my profile, I'd really appreciate it. There's more info about the story in my profile, too, if you're interested._

_I love you all!_

_Disclaimer - These amazing characters to SM, I just play with them._

_--_

_Chapter 23_

James was in the box he'd said he would be in, sitting as calm as you please. There was nothing to indicate he suspected anyone was trying to kill him.

Except of course, perhaps the two burly body guards flanking each side.

I eyed them warily, as an innocent business negotiator would. "Worried about something?" I asked.

He laughed, but not in a cheery way, like he thought I was being funny. He laughed coldly, like he knew exactly what was going on and as if he saw through my charade. His mind was still annoying cloudy and I couldn't understand what on earth was going on inside of that brain of his. Something about a game. A most dangerous game.

"Come now, Mr. Cullen," he said, still chuckling, "We both know what's going on here."

"We do?"

"Yes, we do," he stared me down, as if trying to intimidate me. The idea of _him_ threatening _me_ was simply laughable.

"I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're getting at." I said, feigning innocence, still holding up my end of the game.

He sighed, "It's tiresome, playing a game by yourself, isn't it? Even a game as exciting as the one you seem to have found yourself playing. Could you perhaps have a partner? Someone to play with?"

I stiffened ever so slightly. He couldn't possibly know what he was saying. He had to be bluffing. I didn't say anything and he continued.

"I'm sure you're wondering how I know all of this." He laughed that same hard, cold laugh. "It wasn't really that difficult to put the puzzle together, once I had all of the pieces. You see, with your first victim, I didn't realize it had anything to do with me. That scoundrel had plenty of enemies and it wasn't a horrible thing to have him out of the picture. He was actually going to pull out of a very important merger just before he died, but it went through without his objection, leaving me a small bit richer." He mockingly bowed, "So I thank you for that. But when I found my own food… tampered with, shall we say, I will admit I grew a little suspicious. I have many enemies, I'm not a well-liked man, but I'm not a fool. But very few are intelligent enough to get that close to me, and I ruled most all of them out."

I still stood, glaring daggers at this pitiful excuse for a man.

"Next with Laurent's very recent death, I saw that you were going to being moving more quickly and I would need to start preparing for you. And I knew you would be coming for me. Laurent was not exactly subtle with his outrage about _his_ food being tampered with, and I knew that that was a mark of the next victim. So I began to set my trap."

"Trap?" I said harshly, very tense and no longer breathing. I wasn't worried about myself… but if he knew about Bella…

"That part comes later," he waved me off. "Wouldn't you like to know how I knew it was you?"

He took my silence as a signal to continue. "Well, the only connection the three of us had was a rather drunken night with a useless wench, and no one had paid so much attention to said wench as you did. No one reacted to her so strongly. I knew you didn't flee town of your own volition. And then I thought about what I did know about you." He ticked off each item with a finger, "New to town, so you're quite mysterious – no one really knows your history. You have seemingly an unending supply of money. And you have proven yourself to be quite intelligent, never brawling with other men, or even drinking at the tavern on Saturday nights."

I cursed each trait as he pointed them out to me. It was glaringly obvious that no one else was capable of what we had done.

He paused and studied me critically, "And then there's that x factor, that part of you that seems… not quite human. For example, you haven't taken a breath since you've walked in here."

I forced myself to take one now, albeit a very small one. "Maybe you just hadn't noticed. You seem rather wrapped up in your theories." My voice was as cold and hard as his. What if I just killed him now? Would that be such a horrible thing?

He smirked, "I notice a lot more than you think, Mr. Cullen. Your pretty little gaming partner caught my notice. In fact, I noticed her so much that I had my friend go fetch her so she could come join the party." He glanced at the space behind me and I followed his gaze.

If I'd had a heart, it would have stopped beating. For there, held captive in the burly arms of a large man, was Bella, eyes wide with fright. She struggled to free herself, but to no avail.

But wait, she _struggled_? She was fifty times as strong as that man. She could throw him off of her in an instant. What was she up to?

She reached out to me, like she was trying to grab on to me for help, and as her fingers brushed mine, I heard the distant thought, 'Don't worry. I know what I'm doing."

I looked at her like she was insane, but her expression of fear never wavered. Her message was laced with anger and I hoped against hope that she knew what she was doing. James mistook my look for one of fear as well and laughed. "I'm not as dumb as you think I am, now am I?" He asked rhetorically. What was Bella planning? Didn't James recognize her?

I got my answer to at least the second question sooner than I had hoped. "Now let's get a look at your pretty friend, here," he muttered and walked around me to get a better look.

Once he got that look, he froze, staring incredulously at Bella's now rebelliously straight-backed form. "But…how?" The words fell from his lips.

"You picked to wrong girl to mess with." Her voice was like venom as she simply snapped the arms the held her. The man howled in pain, falling away from her. She shoved him against the wall and came to face James. She was livid.

"You…" He was still in shock. "That's impossible."

"No," she said, "What's impossible is the memory that I ever agreed to marry you, and that I thought I would be happy for it." She glared at the two guardsmen that had been with James in the room as the stood to protect their employer. They looked hesitant, though, as they well should. She had just broken both arms of their comrade as if it were nothing.

"What are you?" James hissed.

"I'm not your fiancée, that's for sure," she hissed back and shoved him against the wall, hard. The guards took one look at each other and decided bolting was their best option. They scrambled out of the room and I let them go. Two less bodied to clean up, and no one would ever believe their story, if they were dumb enough to share it.

James braced himself against the now slightly indented wall and looked from Bella to me and back again. "What did he do to you?" He was incredulous.

"He loved me more than you could ever imagine," she said passionately, and thrust her hands to James' face, clutching it tightly and the memories began to flow. His back arched as he repelled against the influx of emotions, but it do good. Bella's iron grip was not going to be broken until she was finished.

And she was going to take her time. She didn't just let her memory of that dark night go this time. No, she let everything go. Every moment she had ever shared with him, fooling herself into believing she could trust him. Every touch, every glance, every word. Every second she knew him, he now experienced firsthand, as if to really give that final moment an extra bite.

And then it came, the fatal night. Up until that point, Bella had been glaring hard at James' limp form. But now, as she always did, she sought my gaze. I met her eyes and let her lose herself in me, and I did the same to her, as the images replayed through the odd haze of James' mind.

Then, finally, it was over.

The train starting moving with a jolt. Had all of this happened in just ten minutes?

Bella broke our gaze and dropped James's body with a dull thud and sat against the bench. "I'm done with this," she muttered listlessly. The anger was completely faded from her dark eyes.

James shook his head and tried to stand. He knees shook and he stumbled, placing a hand on the window directly above the indent where his body had been flung earlier.

"You little bitch," he cursed at her, refusing to surrender, but unable to do anything more as his face contorted in agony. His thoughts were screaming even if his lips were clenched shut.

She might have been done, but I certainly was not.

"Don't you dare call her that in front of me," I growled and with one swift movement, I slammed him hard enough to hear his bones crack as they made contact with the wall. It splintered behind him and he stepped back, trying to get a decent footing. His arms wind-milled, but it was no use.

He fell off the speeding car and disappeared along the railroad tracks, body broken and abandoned as he waited for death to claim him. A howl of pain echoed through the crisp night air.

It was done. It was over.

It felt surreal.

Bella sunk to the floor of the car, sobbing tearlessly. I hurried to her side, but was afraid to wrap my arms around her as I so badly wanted to. Why was she crying? I crouched beside her like a useless statue, struck dumb with worry.

"I'm so sorry," she choked out in between sobs. "I thought I could be strong like you, but I couldn't." She pulled her knees up to her chest and curled up into a ball on the cold floor. "I'm so sorry."

"Oh Bella," My heart broke. "No Bella, no." I gave into my desires and hugged her close, ignoring her surprised gasp as she felt my arms enclose her. "No, Bella, you are one of the strongest people I know. What could ever make you think otherwise?"

She hesitated, then slowly leaned into me. "I couldn't finish it," she confessed finally, "I couldn't let the hate eat at me anymore. I just couldn't do it." She wouldn't look at me. "Living through that again…I didn't want anything more to do with it. I wanted it to just be done."

"Oh Bella," I said again and hugged her closer, "It is done. And I wouldn't have _you _any other way." I stroked her hair with one hand as her body slowly stopped shaking from her sobs.

"You mean," she began once she'd gone still, "you don't hate me? You don't think I'm weak?" She looked up at me, her big dark eyes full of fear and doubt.

I took both my hands and cupped her face, gazing down at her intently. "Of course not," I said firmly.

I ran my left thumb over her bottom lip gently, remembering the feel of her lips on mine. To my surprise, I felt her lips twitch slightly under my touch as she kissed my thumb lightly. She drew her hands up to cover mine and held them to her face, disbelief still coloring her eyes. Even though I had just declared my feelings to her a few short moments before, she wouldn't believe me.

"How can I make you understand?" I whispered, searching her face.

She didn't answer right away. Instead she let her hands fall, curling on my chest as she eased herself up, positioning herself so her face was just an inch away from mine.

"Just love me," she whispered back. The fear was still clearly evident in her eyes, her posture, her every movement. Was she still so afraid to love? Did she think I could possibly betray her the way the vile creature had? Impossible.

She was still staring at me when I replied by closing the distance between us.

Her lips were still somewhat hesitant against mine, not believing that this was real, that I didn't think she was weak and that I still loved her. I did all I could to persuade her, pouring my heart into my touch. I couldn't send emotion quite the way she could, but I could show her how I felt in my own way.

Her skin felt like it was shooting sparks against mine every time we touched, little volts of electricity and emotion. She was trying to keep her wall up, it was easy to see, but little bits kept leaking through. I could tell that I couldn't just kiss away her fears, as badly as I wanted to.

I pulled away from her lips, only to tuck her head against my shoulder, protecting her. "Of course I love you," I whispered in her ear. "You are my reason for being. You are my everything. To me, you are perfect."

I inhaled her ever-sweet scent, no longer the dangerously luscious sensory overload, but still overwhelmingly attractive – just in a different way now. She was very still, clearly deep in thought. Panic inexplicably gripped me. Had she changed her mind? Had she realized she could do so much better than me?

I was suddenly very afraid.

"Bella, please tell me what you're thinking," I pleaded, afraid to hear the answer, but more afraid not to. She had every right to reject me now, I was the one who dragger into my revenge. I was the one who plunged her into the night. I was the one who let her think she was weak.

I was about to pull away and apologize, with every intent of running and leaving her alone to find someone better, someone who truly deserved her. Who was I to think I was the one? I who had showed her how to kill, and I who had tainted her innocence.

"I love you, too." Her voice startled me. I was full of wonder, as if not quite believing the words that it spoke.

And to further convince me of her sincerity, she dropped her walls and let her love fill my core.

My world was suddenly perfect. There was no more killing to plan, no more deception to keep up. Life was black and white again, if just for a moment. It was just me and her. I was perfectly content to just sit and hold her there on the floor of the rumbling train car.

Just for this moment.

And it was only a moment. I heard voices – thoughts – heading our way, thanks to the commotion we caused.

"I hate to cut this moment short, but we better head back to our car," I whispered in her ear, "We wouldn't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, now would we?"

She shivered as my breath caressed her skin and smiled. I stood, offered her my hand and we crept out of the car together, clinging to the side of the train until we reached our own window and climbed back in.

"Are you alright?" I asked, once we were safely inside the car.

She clasped her hands behind my neck, standing close. I instinctively wrapped my hands around her waist, it was like she was made to be held by me - she fit so perfectly. "I haven't been alright for a long time," she answered seriously, but her eyes were shining and her love burned my skin where we touched. "Now, I'm more than alright," she said, smiling brightly. "I have you."

"I'm glad." I grinned back and dipped my head down to feel her lips brush against mine once more.

I was in heaven, kissing an angel.


End file.
